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Ten easy steps to accidentally kill your computer.
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23 / M / California
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Posted 7/18/14
1. Uninstall AMD Catalyst.
You've come under the impression that having AMD Catalyst is somehow making your computer slower than a dismembered walrus on land, so you decide to get rid of it. Surely it'll be a painless process.

2. Listen to your computer make exorcist noises as your monitor cuts to black and your peripherals flicker on and off. At this time, you'll want to drape one of those catholic bead things over your CPU.

3. After waiting half an hour for the radioactive candy bar to grow large enough to sate the uninstall wizard, reboot your machine. The wizard will be tired after eating so much candy. He needs about forty winks

4. Everything seems fine, your start up screen is back. Then you realize neither your mouse, keyboard, or drawing tablet work anymore, and the computer's fans are still wailing in agony.

5. Spend hours trying to look up the answers on your phone while you hurriedly message your only tech savvy friend at one in the morning. Unplug all the things you have no business unplugging, and yank at the motherboard until you give up, realizing that if the motherboard goes, she may take half of all the internal components with her.

6. Call a computer store. Hang up when you realize they intend to screw you out of sixty-nine(tee hee) dollars to tell you there's nothing they can do.

7. Pull up the startup menu. Get ready to let an overwhelming sense of defeat wash over you as you prepare to perform a factory reset.

8. Realize you can just refresh your PC, and all your files, along with that one recipe on the internet you never used again, will get to stay.

9. Refresh your PC. retain all of your files while losing all of your expensive installs in the process; Office, Adobe, Sai, everything. You'll also have to reinstall two years worth of PC updates.

10. Reinstall- all the things! Watch a Regular Show marathon to distract you from the sheer amount of money you'll have to spend to get Office back. Quietly weep.
Posted 7/18/14
But if you give us steps it can't be accidental anymore :c
Posted 7/18/14
Don't forget to water cool you PC like all the hip children by pouring water into your cooling fans intake!
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21 / M
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Posted 7/18/14
I once stepped on my laptop when I was trying to avoid stepping on my laptop
Posted 7/18/14
Why would I want to kill my laptop?

Internet is life.
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19 / F / ON, Canada
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Posted 7/18/14
Or you could just install Bonzi Buddy and skip all of those steps straight to 10.
Sogno- 
45766 cr points
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Posted 7/18/14
i'm glad none of this applies to my computer
11419 cr points
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20 / M / Eng Land
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Posted 7/18/14
Sometimes doing 10 very hard steps all over it does the trick, too.
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24 / M / Iowa >.>
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Posted 7/18/14
for a laptop there's using a different power cable from a different laptop (really good way to fry it).
using only one hand to pick up a laptop (motherboards aren't meant to bend like that)
spilling your coffee over the keyboard that isn't spill proof (damn you starbucks)
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M / HI
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Posted 7/18/14
internet> Life
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M / Tralfamadore
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Posted 7/18/14
Anything that claims it will clean and speed up your machine; certain death.
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33 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 7/18/14 , edited 7/18/14
1> run halo 1 on netbook
2> play halo fof hours
3> when halo slows down stick net book in freezer
4> forget netbook in freezer and go to bed.
5> pull out frozen netbook
6> thaw out netbook.
7> attempt to turn on now soaking wet netbook
8> store net book in junk pile
9> wait one week
10> forget to retest netbook on way to trash.

step 10 alternate> test netbook on way to trash and realize it still works! all hail ACER!

edit * true story* i only buy acer laptops now.
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25 / M / Inside Lorreen's...
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Posted 7/18/14
I'm assuming this is something you did to yourself.

Also Office should be tied to your Microsoft account and should be just another install rather than buying a new one straight out.

At least that is how MY Office programs work.
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33 / M / outer wall, level...
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Posted 7/18/14 , edited 7/18/14
i once forgot my netbook charging cable.
so i hacked a transformer, then used a pencle to make a voltage divider network to get the 4.2 volts
next up was cutting apart the battery, and manually charging each of teh 6 lithium ion batteries.
using a voltage meter (yes, i travle with one) i monitered each 1300mah cell. 4.2 volts collapese to somwwhere about 3.5. i ended up charing all six cells to 4.0, or just above 75% charge.
oddly enough, i used a lot of ice keeping to pencel voltage source from catching fire. took all day, but was real fun.

from this i learned laptops dont read battery voltage. and i also learned the &%*#!$# who made the battery lied about the capacity and was downgrading the battery life artficialy. (show only 60% battery life, but my calcs show closer to 90%)
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 7/18/14
Step 1) Give laptop to my stepdad.
Step 2) Watch him put the laptop on the floor by the couch, yet leave it open.
Step 3) Wait.
Step 4) Stepdad drops something on the laptop. Objects used may vary.
Step 5) Inwardly laugh at him as he curses and throws a hissy-fit.
Step 6) Snicker and roll your eyes as he procures himself another laptop.


That has actually happened.
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