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Have you ever lost a friend,
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36 / M / US
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Posted 8/1/14
Yes. A long time ago, and if I hadn't done something to get myself in trouble, I would've been in the car with her.
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21 / F
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Posted 8/1/14
Almost a year ago. She and her brother were murdered by their own mother... I wasn't very close to her, but it was still very shocking and upsetting.
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22 / F / Baguio, Philippines
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Posted 8/1/14
I haven't lost anyone close to me yet. But I get to lose quite a couple of acquaintances who are either stabbed or something.
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 8/1/14
Yeah. The people I befriend with weren't that close to me anyway, so I'll let it slide.
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19 / NB / US
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Posted 8/1/14
That's rough... My condolences to you, as well. I've lost two good friends. Miss them lots, but I moved on. I feel for you!
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102 / Candyland
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Posted 8/1/14
Sadly, no. I have had a small acquaintance who did tho... I know she's happy now.
Posted 8/1/14

GayAsianBoy wrote:

I've never experienced grief... or death of a close person. So I'm wondering how I'm going to take it... when that time comes. (I only grew up with 4 people).

I've only experienced the death of a pet, that nearly killed me, emotionally. (made me decided to never get a pet again, I think I feel more sad for animals than humans, tbh).


For animals it's sadness

But for people there's an extra underlying emotion added, it is as prevalent as sadness but scarcely talked about. Fear.
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23 / M / Somewhere in rura...
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Posted 8/1/14

pandrasb wrote:


GayAsianBoy wrote:

I've never experienced grief... or death of a close person. So I'm wondering how I'm going to take it... when that time comes. (I only grew up with 4 people).

I've only experienced the death of a pet, that nearly killed me, emotionally. (made me decided to never get a pet again, I think I feel more sad for animals than humans, tbh).


For animals it's sadness

But for people there's an extra underlying emotion added, it is as prevalent as sadness but scarcely talked about. Fear.


Fear is a good way to put it. I worked my first bad wreck last year, and oddly enough, it wasn't a fatality. We usually use the phrase "bad one" to describe someone dying, but in this case, it was a kid who had suffered massive spinal and brain damage. I was part of the crew preparing a landing zone (we live about 2 hours by ambulance from the nearest level 1 trauma center, so helicopter is vital). There was just something inhuman about how his arm flopped off the cot as he was being loaded, the moment you know the brain isn't really in control anymore, and that was disturbing to me. As far as I am aware, he did live, but I also tend to make it a point to avoid investing myself more than necessary. Policy at my squad is to approach cars from the side and behind the driver seat so as to avoid seeing who it is, until necessary. That way, hopefully we don't find out if we know the victim until our job is all ready done. After that kid, all I could think about were similar injuries happening to my friends or family. I was reminded of my own cousin's wreck, which was a fatality, and which my commanding officers worked as a team. It did reinforce why I do what I do, knowing that some of the most distressing things a civilian can see will eventually find their way to the business end of my cutters or spreaders.
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22 / M / Los Angeles
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Posted 8/2/14
My condolences.

I used to travel and live abroad every few months due to family issues. I've made a lot of acquaintances from overseas, whether I knew them for an afternoon, a few months, or years. Some I would conclude are most likely no longer living, 12 years is a long time; others I had confirmed their passing. My three memorable acquaintances were a chess player who taught me the game, an elderly nanny, and a pen pal (her parents had returned to me my letters of correspondence).
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21 / M / Southern California
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Posted 8/2/14
i just buried my bestfriend on sunday it was the most difficult thing ever.
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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 8/2/14
My condolences to everyone who has lost a friend.
Three years ago one of my closest friends died.
He was hit by a car and three days later he died in the hospital surrounded by those who loved him.
I still remember what he was wearing the last time I saw him and what I told him. Sometimes it feels likes he is still here and all that happened was a dream.
Rest in peace my friend.
Posted 8/2/14
I ditch them because their getting in my way.
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25 / M / Inside Lorreen's...
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Posted 8/2/14
My High School had a rumor going about it from other schools that it was cursed. From a year before I went there, to now 4 years after I have graduated, I believe 20 kids and 2 teachers that went to the school have passed on from accidents, crime, or suicide. Of those 22 I knew of at least... probably 15 of them, of the 15 I knew personally 8 of them, and of those 8 I considered myself good friends of 3 of them and had one of the teachers one year.

One was a neighbor who was a few years older than me, she was kidnapped and murdered a few weeks after graduation.
One was someone who I was close with due to being in the same classes together from like 4th grade up through graduation, she was at a party with some friends when a fight broke out, she got shoved down and her head ended up hitting the corner/edge of a step.
The last was like a brother to me, we lived in the same neighborhood so always walked home and played together, he was a year younger than me so we never had the luck of being in the same classes until middle school and high school where we chose electives. He died in a car crash with a drunk driver. I have a tattoo to remind me of him.

I have also lost plenty of family members (used to this though because i'm one of only like 5 <30's in a family full of >60's most other than the parents who are now in their 80's+). Also my parents can NOT just NOT have a pet, so usually as soon as we lose a pet no matter how, there will be a new one a few weeks to months after.
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27 / M / Bonne Lake, WA
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Posted 8/2/14
I've lost a couple of people close to me. I, honestly, try not to think about it in terms of anniversaries. When I schedule it that way in my head, there is a build up of grief til that day, and it last for several days afterwards.

I mostly miss them when I run into other people who are in similar situations to what they were in when they died. but it's mixed with a happiness to know that someone is chasing those same dreams, and doing the best that they can. It's like they left the legacy of their dreams for the next dreamer.

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29 / M / wherever my work...
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Posted 8/2/14 , edited 8/2/14
Most of the deaths I had were relatives, but the two that hit home that I will always remember happened were both killed by two separate IED attacks. One was trapped in a vehicle and the other was my old XO, who was hit by a suicide vest. DIdn't see my old XO, but was there when the other died. Was also devastated when I found out one of my old drill sergeants was killed in Afghanistan. I found out via a newspaper and his name and picture was in the fallen heroes section.
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