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INDECISIVENESS
Posted 8/10/14
What do you think about people who are indecisive?..no sense of initiative at all..i mean its oaky not to but EVERYTIME?? Come on bruh~~
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30 / M / Central KY.
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Posted 8/10/14
Muahaha, I feel like this Thread is directed towards Me. Which would be sad, and cool at the same time I guess. It's pathetic. Medical School takes up EVERY bit of Free time that I have. I'm SO grateful to have had this Weekend off...But it's awful. There's a lot more to being a Man
...So often I feel like I'm doing the right thing ONE moment, and another, I realize that it was either an impossbility, or simply caused by My laziness. You females deserve the best....You deserve a MAN, not a Boy who can''t make His mind up about anything, and constantly lets His nerves get the best of Him. There are many nice females on this Site that I have met, and I have heard awful stories about how their past Relationships have turned out. Ladiies of Crunchyroll, Each of You, is a bright and shining Star. Don't settle for someone who is indecisively and emotionally a mess.
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/10/14
As someone who can be very indecisive (or can I? Sorry) I can't really be impartial. That said, I find there's often a reason for it. In my case, I tend to overanalyse things and try to think about what the "best" option is. It's pretty bad really but I'm not sure how to overcome it. I'm aware that there's not always a right answer but if I have multiple options with nothing to really put one ahead of the other it's difficult to make a choice.

I suppose sometimes it can be a kind of indifference as well. For example, someone will ask me to pick between two and I really don't have a preference but they call me indecisive for not choosing (if they're so decisive then why didn't they choose?). I often wouldn't mind using some kind of randomisation to decide (like a dice roll or coin flip, I've often considered carrying a dice everywhere) and don't usually mind if the other person chooses.

I guess I also tend to try and consider the other person's feelings (often people present a choice but have a preferred option so I try to figure out which it is) and will occasionally be willing to do something I'm not keen on if I think it'll make them happy (like accompany them to something if they have no one else to go with even if I'm not interested in the actual event). That just makes things more difficult though, since it's another factor to consider.

The first anime I watched on Crunchyroll is relevant: http://www.crunchyroll.com/moritasan-wa-mukuchi

Interestingly, I usually have no problems if I have a clear "favourite" to choose. I guess I'm only indecisive when choosing from seemingly "equal" options. I do wonder how people make those choices (I'd imagine most don't consciously know how they decide, since thinking about it often seems to be the problem). Maybe I'm just not good enough at weighing up different factors and picking out the actual right choice.

As for people who get annoyed at indecisiveness, I'm not sure how to feel. Is it a lack of empathy? Do they feel that the indecisive person isn't being assertive enough? Is it just impatience? Why do people ask if they're going to complain about others not deciding? It's all interesting stuff.

EDIT: since it was posted as I was posting:

x-Cellar_Door-x wrote:



I'm guessing the post was kind of light-hearted but I'm not keen on the idea of there being a definition of a "man" that rejects any flaw or weakness (who among us could truly aspire to perfection? Oh I'm sure plenty) and there's also the issue of assuming that a female should have a "man" (among other things).

Ignoring all that, I don't think indecisiveness is a major character flaw that should see a person rejected. If you are decisive yourself then you can make the decisions (as long as they're okay with that, I guess they maybe can't decide). If you're both indecisive then you can go through the decision process together and maybe that'll make it easier. It seems to me that it'd be more fun trying to understand how you each think rather than just ignoring someone because they don't think like you. Of course, if you find someone's indecisiveness intolerably annoying then there's not much you can do (that we are all our own people works both ways I guess).
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23 / M
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Posted 8/10/14
I don't know.... I can't decide >.<
Sogno- 
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Posted 8/10/14
rather than indecisive i am just too carefree, and lazy ... i rather others make decisions for me
Posted 8/10/14

Kuroixmachina wrote:

I don't know.... I can't decide >.<


loooooool
Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/10/14
1) I think a ton of self doubt that influences this sort of behaviour. For example, if someone chooses a career path over something they enjoy due risk and/or higher salary. Someone mentioned above they over analyse; that causes much self doubt.

2) There's the fear of "missing out". For example, somebody decides to go the circus but when he's there he changes his mind to go see a film everyone is talking about. They are so insecure with the decision they already made.

3) There's also the type of person who opts for Option A (for example) just to please you rather than Option B which is what they truly want. These sort of people may be people pleasers in general who want to avoid confrontation. There's lots of reasons but sometimes it's because they don't want to be the "bad guy"; they tend to never put themselves first. People pleasers never put themselves first and grow up playing the nice guy without any self-awareness. They end up bitter by the end of it. Note: I'm not saying all people who are indecisive are like this, but this is just a type of indecisive person I'm illustrating.

Ultimately, I think it all comes to self doubt, insecurity and a big lack of self-confidence.
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18 / M
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Posted 8/10/14
Sometimes it takes me a long time to make a post on a forum. Mostly because when we're talking about topics where debates arise, I try to look at every point and see how that can be countered. I retype sentences a lot and use certain words, the things you do to never lose.

That doesn't make me indecisive imo, I just like to look at every angle and make what I consider to be the right choice. I think some people do things like this,except they try to apply this to everything or they just don't have the ability to look at every option. So they come across as being indecisive.

I probably think about my decisions a lot more than most, except the time it takes me to look at my options and find the best one isn't long so I could be considered quite decisive. I also know when to just pick one and hope for the best, which I think some people lack.

But for the majority, it's probably just self doubt and lack of confidence.
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M / Buttermilk
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Posted 8/10/14
It only works for women.
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F
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Posted 8/10/14
It gets annoying, I say: "Just make a decision already!" whether it's something as serious as a career or picking something from a fast food restaurant.
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24 / F
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Posted 8/10/14
I think my indecisiveness stems from overanalyzing things, and also trying to consider others in some cases. My mom often calls me a people pleaser, but honestly I'm happier when my friends are happy. Besides, when it comes to small things like what to eat or what event to attend, 99% of the time, I don't have a preference. It's only when things I absolutely love and things I absolutely can't stand are involved that I really care which choice I make. Otherwise, If it's something trivial I flip a coin or ask someone else what they want. If it's something more important, I weigh pros and cons.

Overall, I either don't care enough to make a choice or I care so much I can't decide.
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39 / M / Florida
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Posted 8/10/14
If it's dealing with a night out, I really don't care what we do, lets just do something. My friends typically know as long as we're not sitting at a bar, club hopping, or going to a strip club, I'll be happy.
When it comes to life, I've made some dumb spur of the moment decisions, so I usually have to think it out a bit more.
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Posted 8/10/14
Indecisive? More like overly cautious.
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24 / M
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Posted 8/10/14
dont over think just do what feels right
Posted 8/10/14
I don't think being indecisive is a bad thing sometimes, but if it's all the time it's a problem... though I'm like that most of the time.
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