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Post Reply Ever been cyber-bullied?
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22 / M / New York
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Posted 8/10/14
"What moves people to Cyber-bullying? The person who bullies probably doesn’t even know, right? Different people have different reasons. Sometimes knowing what motivates a person to do something helps bring about ways to stop them from doing it.

According to www.stopcyberbullying.org, below are the top four reasons people bully online. Each one is followed by questions to think about according to if you are the person doing the bullying or the person affected by it.

1. Revenge. In this case, people who bully feel they are righting wrongs or protecting other people. Usually these people do not see themselves as bullies. They can be trying to protect a friend or attempting to get back at someone who was mean to them.

Although protecting yourself is key, seeking revenge will only continue the negative cycle. Becoming a bully, even when you have been bullied is not the solution.

If you cyber-bully: What’s up? Why are you seeking revenge on another person? No matter what they may have done to “deserve it” in your mind, why would you want to act as badly as they did and be like them? List two reasons why you think seeking revenge is right. List two alternatives to the revenge instead.

If you are the victim: Being bullied feels terrible. How could you handle it differently in the future to create a different outcome? What can you do to change the situation going forward? Also, what will help you to recover from the whole thing? These questions are meant to elicit a sense of control when you may be feeling completely out of control. Regain control and prepare yourself so the person who bullies no longer targets you.

2. Power. In this case, people who bully are trying to show others how powerful they are. They want to make others do what they want and have control over them. They want others to be fearful of them. Often this is because in the off-line world, they have been bullied or victimized themselves. On-line, they can yield power that they don’t really have in the real world, such as if they feel smaller than someone or different in a way they can’t manage. These people sometimes tell others about what they have done in an effort to gain some kind of power status.

If you are the bully: Be real with yourself. Do you recognize yourself in the description above? Which part and why? How else in your life can you feel empowered without hurting others?

If you are the victim: Try to step out of the situation for a moment and see what is actually happening. Is this about a person who feels so powerless that he or she needs to control someone or something? If that is the case, see it for what it is: NOT ABOUT YOU. As such, don’t let it be about you or let it affect you. Seek the support of your friends and family and perhaps even brainstorm with them ways you can make sure this doesn’t happen to someone else.

3. Entertainment. Sadly, some people find bullying others entertaining. They think embarrassing others is funny. Usually these people Cyber-bully in groups, such as at a slumber party, or on a sports team outing. Having an audience is part of what makes this type of Cyber-bully fun. These bullies need to get a grip on what good entertainment is! (Perhaps they need to read “Outlets of Expression” in our books.)

If you are part of this bully group: Can you feel your emotions shift as you participate in the behavior? What are you getting out of it? An adrenaline rush that feels good and empowering? Would you do the same if you weren’t in a group? What does that say about your moral code? What about the intended target? What if that was you, a sibling of yours or a close friend? What about your level of empathy? Do you have any? Do you think it’s important to have any empathy? What is it? Define it.

If you are the victim: Having a group of people hurt you probably feels worse than just one person, but try to take comfort in the weakness factor – these people need each other to find confidence to, well,… be jerks, basically. That’s sad. And we know that saying “sad” is a judgment, so you come up with your own words for it. What words would you choose?

4. Stupidity. Did we really just write that? Stupidity in this case means being unaware of your actions. Bullies in this category just respond to emails and postings without thinking, and thus, often inadvertently hurt other people. They click before they think. Do you think before you hit send? Do you write emails while frustrated or angry? Make sure you don’t fall into this category. After all, you are on this site because you are smart and aware, right? ;-)

If you are the stupid bully: Then we just called you a name, which is wrong, and we doubt there is anyone out there willing to raise their hand and shout, “Yeah, that’s me, I’m the stupid bully.” So, actually, we think a better word is “careless” and these “careless” mistakes can lead to bullying behavior, or maybe just feel like it to the other person. The intention may not have been there. When you email or text someone, make sure you know what you wish to convey and then make sure your writing conveys it. If not, then don’t click. Pick up the phone!

If you are on the side of the victim: First, is the message that upset you from someone who otherwise is not a bully? Was there a miscommunication? Nip it in the bud. Pick up the phone and deal. Why add drama to your life?
Second, if this message is from someone you think is just a stupid bully, then don’t take it personally, right? What about the message truly reflects who you are? Does the message reflect more on the person sending it? Can you see a difference?"

Credit to the site in bold above.

Be yourself, and rid of hate.
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Posted 8/10/14
Not exactly cyberbullied, but I have sensed big greed and arrogance from the internet, which can lead to more of that nonsense.
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26 / M / Waterloo, Ontario
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Posted 8/10/14
Yeah I have been cyber-bullied by some douchebag on Youtube back in August of 2011. That was nearly 3 years ago.
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/14/14
Yeah, someone on Instagram told me I was ugly, fat, and told me to die
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21 / M / The Netherlands
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 2/24/15
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 10/29/14


I was about to post this.
Vokisa 
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25 / F / USA
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/10/14
I used to be a pretty hardcore troll. Specifically would pick on weeaboos and Narutards, since they were obnoxious in online communities. What I did would probably be considered cyber bullying because people would get upset over it. But I never really understood the big deal. They should have just blocked me if I bothered them that much. ;P It's not like I was the type to create multiple accounts and stalk them. Kids were just stupid to even care what someone else online thought of them. I do feel bad for making a couple of kids really upset, though. Found one kid openly cyber-cheating on his online girlfriend. Recorded it. Put it up on Youtube. And sent it to him & his girlfriend. His girlfriend thanked me, but he freaked out hardcore.

I don't bother doing that stuff anymore, though.
Posted 8/10/14 , edited 10/29/14


Pretty much this.
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22 / M
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 10/29/14


^ he is right, only an idiot gets affected by cyber bullying
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17 / M / Ohio
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Posted 8/10/14
I've never been cyber bullied. I don't really say anything that aggravates people most of the time. My friends say I do complain a bit too much though but I don't do that on the internet.
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22 / M / New York
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 10/29/14


I agree, but what at a different view?

Like, a person is "cyber-bullying" you by putting you on blast, making hurtful comments behind your backs, telling lies, etc. , to groups of people. On Facebook, for example. Surely, the victim can walk away from the screen... but it's still there, among lots and lots of people.

In reality, people who cyber bully are weaker than actual bullies.
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22 / F / None ya business.
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Posted 8/10/14
I've had conflicts with people online for various reasons o.o Usually some troll in a game thinks he's being smart by spamming insults that don't even apply.

One case was really hilarious XD as some guy got mad that I was getting more kills than he was. He kept spamming the chat saying I was a fat ugly guy and I needed to "loose wait", I was laughing my butt off as the entire time he was talking to a pretty, thin girl.

Ah, trolls be failing.
Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/10/14

tf2pyros wrote:



I agree, but what at a different view?

Like, a person is "cyber-bullying" you by putting you on blast, making hurtful comments behind your backs, telling lies, etc. , to groups of people. On Facebook, for example. Surely, the victim can walk away from the screen... but it's still there, among lots and lots of people.

In reality, people who cyber bully are weaker than actual bullies.


Unless we're talking Anonymous level, it wouldn't matter. The internet is confined to the internet unless it is among people you know. The internet is more of a tool at that point.
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Posted 8/10/14

CherryDynamite8 wrote:

I've had conflicts with people online for various reasons o.o Usually some troll in a game thinks he's being smart by spamming insults that don't even apply.

One case was really hilarious XD as some guy got mad that I was getting more kills than he was. He kept spamming the chat saying I was a fat ugly guy and I needed to "loose wait", I was laughing my butt off as the entire time he was talking to a pretty, thin girl.

Ah, trolls be failing.


I smiled at this!

This is the type of cyber-bullying that confuses me. The bully feels entitled to know everything about you, apparently. You are a 19 year old girl, skinny and average, and assumingly you have a tender heart. In the bullies mind, he/she will go right to calling you a fat, whorish 12 year old, who is ugly and can't find a man.

How do they claim to know you, even if they can't guess your eye color? Stupidity, I tell you.
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