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So I'll probably get made fun of for this even on an anime forum but...
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Disclaimer: Wall of Text Incoming! Leave now or forever hold your peace! You have been warned !

Let's just get a few things out of the way:yeah maybe I'm a loser, yeah maybe I'm lonely, yeah maybe I'm delusional or crazy even, yeah maybe I need a real girlfriend but I have to say I'm not particularly desperate for one at the moment. I realize how illogical everything is....I don't even particularly want these feelings but it doesn't change anything about the situation no matter how much I repeat it to myself. I can't stop people from making these comments, but if you are I figured I'd address them preemptively.

Now, moving on to the main topic at hand....waifu gets thrown around pretty casually sharing a similar meaning to "best girl(s)". I've certainly done it tons of time in a tongue-in-cheek manner when around friends or what not, but have you ever liked a character so much it turned into more than that? Like so much that it hurts? I've experienced plenty of real life heartache,unrequited love and rejection and it feels similar to that when I'm not "with" them.

I'd always had little crushes or attraction to anime characters and have been watching anime all of my life(Sakura from CCS first anime crush when I was little hehe). Maybe it was sexual attraction, they were just plain cute or had traits I admired. I'm sure it's weird enough to most non-anime watchers to even be at that level. However, four years ago or so I was basically a NEET(I won't explain circumstances leading up to it) in the depths of depression about what a worthless person I'd become. I wasn't even remotely in the position for a real relationship. There was a bright spot however, I watched an anime called Heartcatch Precure that you may or may not be familiar with. The Precure franchise is annually serialized and I generally wrote it off as just a kid's show there for product placement similar to a pre-FiM My Little Pony without much substance(not a Brony, but I appreciate the show for what it is). I recommend you check out Heartcatch if you haven't ever watched any of the seasons of precure. Anyway, for some reason I was unnaturally infatuated with one of the characters on the show...

<--This cutie Erika Kurumi

I'm not sure if it was because her energy, her passion, her cuteness, badassitude, her generally silliness or her hard work to improve on her flaws. It was probably a combination of all of the above, but I suddenly wanted to see/hear/know/own everything about her and seeing her daily motivated me to stop being a sack of crap. I don't know if it's wrong to say it was "love", but that's what it felt like. I eventually started living on my own with a room mate and working hard towards my school career. At some point I stopped being dependent on her and fell out of "love" it was almost like a break up, but I still keep her wall scroll in my room(because it's awesome!) and to remind me of the past me I overcame. Of course, she's still an important part of me, but I don't have that "need" anymore.

Now, Erika made sense to me as an emotional crutch with the state I was in. I'm mainly writing this because it's happened to me again, and I can't for the life of me figure out why. I'm going to a good 4 year school in the fall, and am generally happy at the position I'm at in life(despite being a few years behind schedule). She adheres to a lot of the same traits I loved in Erika, but is significantly more flawed and passionate. I guess I know my type...small cutesy girls with big passions and even bigger flaws .

Anyway, if you've read this far you might be curious who that is and it's...

< Nico (Nico Nii!) Yazawa

I originally wrote off Love Live! as one of those typical moe slice-of-life high school shows without even giving it a chance in the first season, and looking at the artwork I just assumed Nico was the typical cutsie type. Admittedly, my type when it comes to anime, but I didn't expect anything past that. After the game and second season came out I decided to give the series a chance and was hooked. What I found was a girl with a lot of passion striving for a goal to be like those she admired, but without the means or companions to accomplish them. This resulted in a lot of heartache, loneliness and mental barriers. These manifest in her putting up a lot of emotional fronts such as her cutsie side, show-offy side or generally aggressive side. It makes her seem like a jerk at times, but she's really just kind of socially retarded XD and unable to express her thoughts/passions properly. Since she lacks the mature air and uh...features of the other upperclassmen she often ends up as the butt of a lot of jokes as well(deservedly sometimes, but at least it's a cute butt...don't worry Nico I think you're sexier than Eli :P). I know this is all up to my interpretation and many just find her annoying, but...it made me like her far more than I would have if she was just a character being cutsie all the time.I mean, she is cute all the time, but you know what I mean.I think you only get the real, passionate spill your guts Nico she she's either truly happy or truly sad such as when she's on stage performing or as she is down below.

^--D'awww I want to snuggle sad Nico in bunny PJs so bad!

I guess I just see a lot of myself in her even superficially(we have the same Birthday!) that drew me ever closer to her than is typical with other characters.

In conclusion, that's where I'm at right now. I think I'm going to choose to interpret this as my psyche(aside from just loving her unconditionally) wanting a security blanket like Nico for the tough road ahead just like I needed Erika in the past. I don't expect most people to understand,read this or even want to respond, but I guess it's something I wanted to get off my chest where others would see it because I'm curious if others have ever felt this deeply for a character or if one helped them get through a tough time. I'm not one of those hardcore waifu-ists with strict guidelines(I've done my research ,but it's my imaginary girlfriend so I'll make my own rules!) I actually consider my relationship with Nico polyamorous because I love NicoMaki together which is probably heresy. Thanks for listening to the ramblings of a madman! Feel free to post your experience or ask any questions to which I may or may not answer!
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25 / M / This Dying World
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Posted 8/10/14
So your are an otaku.
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22 / M
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/11/14
tried to read your light novel but couldnt lol im just lazy
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25 / M / This Dying World
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Posted 8/10/14
One of us. One of us.
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Posted 8/10/14
kk, i just read it
and i agree you're just an otaku, theres many weird fucks but you arent one of them, just try to socialize more with people and you'll be fine
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Posted 8/10/14

Siawo wrote:

kk, i just read it
and i agree you're just an otaku, theres many weird fucks but you arent one of them, just try to socialize more with people and you'll be fine



AnimeKami wrote:

So your are an otaku.


Oh I'm aware I'm a huge Otaku and functional/social enough nowadays. I was just kind of in the mood to blog about my experience anonymously and see how others felt on the matter as I don't have much experience with that heh. Thanks for reading and caring guys!
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/11/14
Awesome post. I too was once a NEET, but have crawled out of that torturous hole. I'm glad you think it's okay to have multiple waifus because I feel the exact same way! Anime babes FTW!
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Posted 8/10/14

trueshinobi01 wrote:

Awesome post. I too was once a NEET, but have crawled out of that torturous hole. I'm glad you think it's okay to have multiple waifus because I feel the exact same way! Anime babes FTW!


Yeah I think forcing yourself to be devoted to one imaginary woman is rather silly. It's your imagination, have a harem if you like! That said though, I honestly can't think of anyone but Nico(and Maki) at the moment so perhaps I still adhere to the silly rule unintentionally. Former NEETS unite! Glad to hear you came out okay too!
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Posted 8/10/14
I only read about 85% of it because time, but it sounds like an emotional crutch. What you're lacking in real life you found a place-holder for in anime characters. I can relate, I turn to anime to make up for the emotional holes I feel towards real life. It might sound pathetic to some people, but it has really helped me through life a lot. As long as you don't let it over-take real life and become completely dependent on the fictional character, I think it's a perfectly fine way to make yourself feel better and more motivated in life until real life becomes more fulfilling. And even when life is great, anime is still a really fun hobby to have.
So don't feel bad in any way about it. We all find our own ways to brighten up life.
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Posted 8/10/14
So this is what being a Otaku is like? I guess i'm pretty far off then
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Posted 8/10/14

fallenhat wrote:

I only read about 85% of it because time, but it sounds like an emotional crutch. What you're lacking in real life you found a place-holder for in anime characters. I can relate, I turn to anime to make up for the emotional holes I feel towards real life. It might sound pathetic to some people, but it has really helped me through life a lot. As long as you don't let it over-take real life and become completely dependent on the fictional character, I think it's a perfectly fine way to make yourself feel better and more motivated in life until real life becomes more fulfilling. And even when life is great, anime is still a really fun hobby to have.
So don't feel bad in any way about it. We all find our own ways to brighten up life.


I don't particularly feel bad or sad about it, it just kind of is what it is. I'm not looking for a girlfriend at the moment as I mentioned, but if one shows up at the right time then I'm not opposed. Disclaimers are mostly because I know this is kind of a sensitive topic people don't understand/make fun of a lot and I'm trying to show I have a more open viewpoint to it. Thanks for reading as much as you did though and glad you could relate a bit.
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Posted 8/10/14

Ryuouka wrote:

So this is what being a Otaku is like? I guess i'm pretty far off then


Oh yes, I'm all the way down the rabbit hole. Enter if you dare!
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Posted 8/10/14
You're awesome. Bravo for putting it all out there like that. 2D> 3D
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Posted 8/10/14 , edited 8/11/14
I do not relate that much... I've never felt like I had a "husbando" (that's the male equivalent right?). I've only been able to like characters, as in I think they are written well or a relatable. I haven't reached that otaku status XD Or maybe it's because I'm a girl? I don't know...
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Posted 8/10/14
Hmmm....I guess I am not an otaku after all.
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