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Depression
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M / Wonderland chilli...
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Posted 8/20/14

kokorowohiraite wrote:

I'm naturally an introvert but I've been diagnosed with general anxiety disorder and social phobia (it's been 4 years now), and Depression (it's been 10 years). Both severe cases.

I believe there is a lot to talk about regarding this issue, and it's definitely something that those who don't go through it can't exactly fathom. Even people who think they're helping, can actually be detrimental to the situation at hand. For example, people who say "just be more positive", "just be happy" or "just choose happiness" aren't helping - they're treating it like it's a choice. It's not.

It affects all facets of life - your relationship with yourself, your relationship with others, your physical health (and obviously mental health) and your education. The worst part is that when things decline in any of these areas it perpetuates decline in other areas and thus becomes a vicious cycle that becomes difficult to get out of, and only appears to go downhill from that initial point.

I'd like to say that I've taken this year off for recovery. I was meant to be in my first year of University near the beginning of the year, 2014, (yes school years in Australia go by the actual year, not by seasons like the UK or US). I decided to defer my placement for next year and take time this year to work on things, and on my relationship with myself and with life.

It's taken 10 years, but it's only now that I've seen a change, or a difference, within myself. My mum even commented on it, and she's been accusing me of "not trying at all" throughout that time span - a given it would hurt her to see her child like that, I understand, but it was also her ignorance that led her to believe it was simply a matter of choice. For those who don't see the light at the end of the tunnel, please take me as an example. It's been 10 years (and there are plenty of people who have experienced more prolonged periods of time, and mine as well may not truly go away) of something resembling hell, but right now I feel it was worth it. It was worth it because I learned things about myself, about my mind, my condition, about life and relationships - on a deeper level than perhaps the average person could pertain through such experiences. Those lessons have enabled me to maintain a healthy relationship with my current boyfriend of 1 year. Life is difficult, I can't promise it'll ever be easy, but I can promise that it'll be worth it - whether you find your love for yourself, or you find your love for another and accept their love for you, or you find passion in doing something you love. Please stick around for that. Change is gradual, and it takes time, but it'll happen.

There's honestly a huge discussion revolving this topic and if anyone would like my opinion on things, or have any questions, I'd be glad to address them. If anyone also needs a place to simply vent or a place to feel like they can always return to and speak their mind, then feel free to buddy me or send me a PM.


"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars."
Khalil Gibran

Perhaps its a tad philosophical but i honestly believe in the idea that i am a better person overall because of the life i have had. it gives perspective that is hard to come by any other way. even if sometimes the costs do not seem worth it. and i second the motion if anybody needs someone to talk to happy to lend an ear.
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Posted 8/20/14
Growing up for me was very difficult, my dad has depression and I genetically got depression and anxiety from him, I was diagnosed at the very young age of about 8 or 9 since everyday in 2nd grade I would come home crying because I had no friends and was bullied for being weird (16 now and most of the girls that was in 2nd grade with me are pregnant sooo... xD )

My dad wasn't the only person I got a medical illness from anyways, my biological mom (whom I don't talk to) had anemia, as for I, I have very SEVERE ANEMIA, been in and out of hospital for months, 6 blood transfusions and 2 operations.

I know what your thinking 6 blood transfusions?! That can't be true, well it was, I was in the hospital for a week in February this year because my blood count was 2.3/15, within the span of 3 days they did the 6 blood transfusions and my blood count went up to 10/15, still low but it was a start! c: With all these medical problems and not much support except from my dad it caused my depression to get worse and I would normally still stay in my room away from people, guess you can say I'm anti-social in real life, when I was first diagnosed with depression at about the age of 14 my therapist had me take Zoloft (worst depression pill EVER GUYS) it worked for a good week then gave me bad thoughts all the time, one day my dad and step mom were arguing and I swallowed the bottle of pills wanting to die, I extremely regret it because I would miss out on high school and what I'm doing now.

It didn't kill me (obviously because I'm typing all this lol) it had my body numb for about 2 days and I was very dizzy.
Well that's enough about my history of depression haha.
If anyone is depressed and wants to do what I did DON'T it's not worth it PLEASE I extremely encourage you to PM me of anything, I won't bite
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17 / F / CT
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Posted 8/20/14
In my middle school years I've been diagnosed with depression. Those were my toughest years of my life so far. I thought I was always alone and there was no one for me, no one really cared. I distanced myself from things that I love and the people who I care the most about. I'd feel sad for no reason and I'd feel like not doing anything. In that time I tried to overcome it but it was hard.

I overcame it when I reached high school. I changed myself and tried to open myself to people and hobbies. I believe anyone could have depression. I've been told by someone who has depression that I don't understand depression and the struggle. Since I have everything you would need to live a comfortable life and they see my life as perfect.
Posted 8/20/14
I've never experienced it. I imagine it must be a terrible state of mind, because I read about it... most people are not aware they are depressed, that's what lead to even deeper depressions.


just me talking about myself under the spoiler...

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26 / M / Florida, USA
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14
Depression is something only someone who has suffered from it before can understand. I'd never before suffered from depression, clinical or otherwise (at least as far as I know), but recently due to something that happened in my life, It's something I've had to deal with. Initially it was torture, some days I could barely swallow any food, some days I lived in a daze, some days I just wanted to break down and cry, some days I had absolutely no motivation whatsoever to do anything...

Right now, I consider that it's something I've mostly gotten through, although there are still days that are worse then the rest, none are like those few initial weeks. This life experience gave me a glimpse at what many people go through on a daily basis throughout their entire lives and before this, I always questioned WHY many people choose suicide...now I finally understand, although I don't agree with it, I can say with confidence that I fully understand why suicide might seem like the best way to end the suffering. I thought about it, for the briefest of moment, but I have no desire to die :)

Talking sometimes helps...and that's what I lacked, people to talk to. If anyone ever wants to just talk, feel free to message
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20 / M / England.
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Posted 8/20/14
I believe in it, but I've never personally met anyone with it.
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31 / M
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14
I've been suffering with depression for 10 years but it finally got to a point i couldn't go on. Seen my doctor yesterday and was prescribed anti depressants. It's been a long and difficult road trying to deal with it myself but sometimes you just need a push to go and get help. If you suffer from it don't suffer alone.
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Posted 8/20/14
I've had depression myself and it's definitely not a nice place to be in. And 'place' is, to my mind, a fair description for it. There's a sense of one being in such a dull, unresponsive state of mind that the outside world (that is to say, outside one's head) is reduced to...nothingness.

Though the bits which freaked me out the most are/were the periods when I had a sense of 'not being real' (apparently there's a technical term for it, but I forget what it is...) and operating almost on auto-pilot as far as I could manage. It's one thing to 'feel' your brain operating more slowly than it should, quite another to perceive you don't exist to begin with... And that's just one messed-up sentence, right there...

I'm not sure 'belief' in depression is the right word for it, because it has connotations of something being 'made up', when the reality of intimate, personal experience is not something that can be easily defined in that way.

The thing about being told that it's something to be/that can be overcome is that the person receiving such advice is most likely not in the best frame of mind to, y'know, do anything with that suggestion , however well-intentioned it may be. There's a horrible conflict there, to hear what you know to be true, or at least plausible, and not react to it. Or even process that information.

That said, it seems other respondents have made something out of this sort of situation. It's food for thought.
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Posted 8/20/14
I've been diagnosed with GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) and Depression recently. All my therapist tells me to do is to do things that will make me happy.
Posted 8/20/14

GrazinGrazz wrote:

When I was 17 I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Along with my "ADD" turned "ADHD", and occasional migraines... I honestly thought I was a ruined package. Coincidentally at that time I considered myself an atheist at the time, sometimes when convenient I would callously call myself agnostic. When I got into my early 20's I found God. Don't get me wrong, I am not suggesting you need God in order to kick your depression, but in my own personal journey it was vital.

Depression in my experience is ultimately controllable. It is a reflection of your relationship with the world around you.

As we know, there are at least two different kinds of people when fit into the spectrum of "introverted" and "extroverted". Depending on which one you find yourself in, that would be, in my opinion, the best way to address the problem. At least at first. People who are extroverted tend to find comfort in discussing their problems with other people, and as its antagonist, introverted individuals have a tendency to internalize the experiences they are going through, as a matter of figuring out how to deal with a problem. I feel like people who have a tendency to be more introverted have the greater chance of finding themselves in a depressed state or straight up depression.

So above I said there are "at least" two different types of people when fit into the "introverted-extroverted" spectrum. Since it is difficult to actually quantify some of my assumptions, and the fact I am not going to do any further research, I am just going to type it and hope it seems valid.

The introvert-extrovert spectrum, introvert is on one side and extrovert is on the other side. Being that there are so many people on earth with a myriad of different circumstances, inevitably all people cannot fall into the extremes of introvert or extrovert. Most people will find themselves somewhere in between. Where you find yourself in this spectrum is how I feel would be the best way to address your depression. The closer you are to extroverted, it might be best to find someone caring and reliable you really trust to give you some caring advice, or a listening ear. The closer you are to introverted, the more difficult and more grey the answer gets.

As an introverted person myself I find that I often dont believe that I can get the answer I require from discussing it with someone. Unless they have been through the same experience and that they are similar enough to me that I feel their insight would apply to me as well. However, finding the answers on your own can be very daunting. For fellow introverts, I suppose I have less than an answer. Again, extroverts seem to just be able to talk to anybody, but introverts are a little more individual in their issues. You kinda have to find your way on your own... Maybe the closer you are to introvert, the more dealing with your depression becomes coping.


This is very insightful, well thought out and very very true. I believe I'm one of those few people who fall into the extremes of introvert. On top of being a full introvert and I'm also very shy, if you were in front of me I would not even open my mouth

(in spoilers because I'm not going to say nothing meaningful...I will just rant about myself)

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Posted 8/20/14
My family has a history of depression and other mental illnesses. My dad has depression, my grandfather has depression, and my great grandfather had depression and OCD. I also have depression and my take on it is the same as my dad's.

We all start at a certain baseline. That baseline is zero regardless of how much harder your zero is compared to everyone else's. Everything past that is completely up to how much work you put into developing your will.

This has earned me some harsh looks since I do effectively condemn anyone who complains about their depression, but as a personal motive, it is extremely powerful.
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25 / M / Ann Arbor, MI
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14
Hey, just stopping in to share my experiences.

I too have been diagnosed with clinical depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed four years ago with depression, and the anxiety has only been around for about a year.

When I'm not on my medicine (Paxil 20mg) it can be difficult to even make food for myself, let alone work, and do other things people do. The anxiety is a whole 'nother hellish thing though. It's the hardest because I never know what is going to set me off, and when it does, I either stay cooped up in my room for hours or I act like someone I'm not. I'm lucky because my roomies are not unacquainted with mental illness, so they understand, but it still feels like shit to yell at someone when you're not really angry at them, you just can't handle the stress of them washing your dishes the "wrong" way.

When they both occur, as I'm sure you know, it's a nightmare. My natural response is to sleep until I can't anymore and then lock myself in my room and watch anime. If I'm anxious and Depressed... you seriously don't want to be around me.

Regardless of what anyone says though, medicine, exercise, and therapy are, when used together, the best way to work through this stuff. Medicine wont change you into someone else, exercise is good for you anyway, and therapy doesn't have as much stigma as it used to. You can get through this, and you will get better. Even if you're diagnosed with it for your whole life, you will have times when you don't need to take medicine or things are just going well and your coping mechanisms are working. There is hope and there is light.

Moreover, you will encounter people who cannot understand why you can't "just be happy" or "do something you enjoy" or "get out and get some sunshine!" remember that they mean well, even if they don't understand.

Anyway, I hope that helps. Stay frosty.
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14
I've been diagnosed with SAD (social anxiety disorder) and depression. For a long time, I haven't been able to sleep peacefully since my gut feelings always come back to get me.

Anyone ever played Saya no Uta though? I feel that this VN portrays how I feel about other people quite proficiently. That's about as much as I'd like to say on it, lol.
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19 / M / US
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Posted 8/20/14
I'm not sure, I have Clinical Depression as well and everyone tells you to be happy and that it's fine, However, no matter how hard I may try I simply can't be happy, that doesn't mean I can't smile though, so I suppose that's good enough, Sometimes people are even scared of me if I talk about how pessimistic my views are, thinking I'm going to shoot up the school or something, but I could never hurt a fly. Oh well, I don't know why I'm pseudo ranting.
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14


I have never understood this sentiment myself. For a long time I thought that certain things were supposed to make me feel a certain way. Eventually I realized that I was looking at it backwards. Emotions/Feelings are just like your hands and feet. They are tools and, at least in my case, I had to learn how to use them in much the same way I learned to walk.
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