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Depression
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23 / M / Somewhere in rura...
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Posted 8/20/14
I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety problems following two foster care stents and a decidedly much worse betrayal by my only friend when I was 9. Since then, I've had a few happy times, but for the majority of the past 13 years, I ran on autopilot, to the point where with the exceptions of a few friends and achievements, junior high and all up to my sophomore year of high school just kind of run together. I kind of snapped back, due to a series of deaths of all things, and me managing to win 2nd prize in the BETA club state science convention. From my sophomore year of high school to present, I've been aware of most of the things around me, and for most of that time, autopilot would have been preferable. Cowardice and guilt have kept my contemplations of suicide to a minimum, and I have been both medicated and not medicated. I took Zoloft and Trazodone when I was 9 until I was 11. I took a valium knock off when I was a freshman, however the one time I used it, after a break down and I was trying to deaden myself to the world for a bit, it failed, and I was left lucid, but incapable of going anywhere for fear of the side effect hitting me for 3 hours. I definitely believe in depression and anxiety, hell, my last stress test cleared 400 for score, and I am seeking counseling this year to try to help with that and my weakness against human interaction.
Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14

qualeshia3 wrote:


Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I really don't understand why people feel to mention that.



It's likely because they're ignorant and don't understand depression.

I certainly feel like I have more of a reason to be depressed than some people but I dont think it makes other people's problems any less important.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 8/20/14


True.

Same here.
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21 / M / UK
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Posted 8/20/14

KP_Wrath wrote:

I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Anxiety problems following two foster care stents and a decidedly much worse betrayal by my only friend when I was 9. Since then, I've had a few happy times, but for the majority of the past 13 years, I ran on autopilot, to the point where with the exceptions of a few friends and achievements, junior high and all up to my sophomore year of high school just kind of run together. I kind of snapped back, due to a series of deaths of all things, and me managing to win 2nd prize in the BETA club state science convention. From my sophomore year of high school to present, I've been aware of most of the things around me, and for most of that time, autopilot would have been preferable. Cowardice and guilt have kept my contemplations of suicide to a minimum, and I have been both medicated and not medicated. I took Zoloft and Trazodone when I was 9 until I was 11. I took a valium knock off when I was a freshman, however the one time I used it, after a break down and I was trying to deaden myself to the world for a bit, it failed, and I was left lucid, but incapable of going anywhere for fear of the side effect hitting me for 3 hours. I definitely believe in depression and anxiety, hell, my last stress test cleared 400 for score, and I am seeking counseling this year to try to help with that and my weakness against human interaction.


Sorry to hear, I also have major anxiety problems and I was diagnosed with Asperger's, this was following my Mums death and I used to take counselling. Major anxiety makes it really hard for me to go school aswell since I hate being in crowds it makes me so anxious, anyway im so sorry to hear how stressed out you are im quite similar in that regard, anxiety is truly awful but I guess we have to try and be happy.
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21 / M / UK
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14

Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I have every right to be depressed I have major anxiety and I had to wait months hoping my mum would wake up from a coma, My mum died and then I had to cremate her body, you ignorant piece of shit.
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21 / F / The Flying Pussyf...
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Posted 8/20/14

qualeshia3 wrote:


Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I really don't understand why people feel to mention that.


To prove something, some ppl just don't get depression, it would be logical to think kids with no food or shelter would be depressed but illogical for a person with both would be depressed.
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14

MarkyD73 wrote:


Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I have every right to be depressed I have major anxiety and I had to wait months hoping my mum would wake up from a coma, My mum died and then I had to cremate her body, you ignorant piece of shit.


Woah there!!! I'm not saying this directly to ppl with depression I'm just asking if u ever been told that which is why I quoted it. I am not ignorant either on depression I done lots of research and been through it, which is why u should think before u call someone ignorant and a piece of shit.
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29 / M
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Posted 8/20/14

Sakura_Moon15 wrote:

I've always had mental illnesses all my life. I have ADHD, autism, and others I maybe don't know about, so that was pretty hard with some people and school.... As of matter of fact, I started to have depression in the 2nd - 3rd grade because of a teacher bullying me which caused me to have an eating disorder. I think my depression hit me the most and became major when was in the 8th grade and a few times once every bit of the months. Luckily, I had a manga I enjoyed.... I had just gotten anxiety more than a couple of years back. Still have depression to this day. I should get help but its so damn expensive. Even taking meds to a lot is a pain in the butt. Sorry for that hahaha

It's very hard having depression or any other mental illness because you have to prove it. You have to make yourself have be known and heard that you have it. People will say you are sad or its a bad day when its really you have depression. I think many people do not know or comfortable with it because they do not have it. It's when you do its when you gain yourself to have an epiphany. However I wish may they never have it so they can be happy or enjoy themselves.

One thing I have noticed that makes things a little better is having someone there. A friend, family member or animal friend/pet that is around. A comfort such as music, book, or anything to cling to works.


I had the same thing happen with a teacher in the 3rd grade. She always pushed us kids around and was extremely manipulative. I would turn in the same homework assignment several times over and she would always say that she still didn't receive it from me. That's when my depression started, as far as I can recall. I also started having anxiety around the same time. The two have become progressively worse since then. I hate it when someone tells you to just snap out of it. It's not that simple. I've been on medications now for the past two years almost and I'm doing much better with my anxiety and OCD, but still can't find anything that works effectively to kill off the depression... and I've taken a lot of antidepressants within the last two years. My family is supportive and I have a great therapist and psychiatrist, so those are all positives. Just can't shake the gloominess and desire to sleep all day.
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21 / M / UK
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Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14

Arielgirl375 wrote:


MarkyD73 wrote:


Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I have every right to be depressed I have major anxiety and I had to wait months hoping my mum would wake up from a coma, My mum died and then I had to cremate her body, you ignorant piece of shit.


Woah there!!! I'm not saying this directly to ppl with depression I'm just asking if u ever been told that which is why I quoted it. I am not ignorant either on depression I done lots of research and been through it, which is why u should think before u call someone ignorant and a piece of shit.


Yes you're right im sorry, I snapped it was just one of those instant reactions.
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M/ F/ California
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Posted 8/20/14

Arielgirl375 wrote:


MarkyD73 wrote:


Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I have every right to be depressed I have major anxiety and I had to wait months hoping my mum would wake up from a coma, My mum died and then I had to cremate her body, you ignorant piece of shit.


Woah there!!! I'm not saying this directly to ppl with depression I'm just asking if u ever been told that which is why I quoted it. I am not ignorant either on depression I done lots of research and been through it, which is why u should think before u call someone ignorant and a piece of shit.


Hehe...see
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24 / F / Iwatobi!!
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Posted 8/20/14
Depression can happen to ANYONE! Rich, poor, young, old. It's a terrible illness that is heartbreaking to see happen to anyone. It can come about in any way too. It could be stress, trauma, loss of a person/pet, getting fired, getting hurt. There are so many reasons and these things affect every single person in a different way. To say a person doesn't have a reason to be depressed just doesn't help. I don't feel depression is fully understood by everyone. When people are at their lowest in life and feeling so sad, they need people to just listen and make them feel supported. Not question their reasons for being depressed, but to help them understand and find a way to work through it. Too many people suffer alone and never have anyone to turn too, when in this day and age, with all that we know now, it should be easier to get the support that is needed.

If you think someone is depressed just talk to them, and let them know they have a shoulder to cry on, before it becomes too late.
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21 / F / The Flying Pussyf...
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Posted 8/20/14

It's ok stuff happens. There r ways to get help i did group therapy! That was pleasant and depressing sometimes funny.
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21 / F / The Flying Pussyf...
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Posted 8/20/14

U jinxed me!
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 8/20/14

Arielgirl375 wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:


Arielgirl375 wrote:

Have you been told "think of the kids in foreign countries with no food and shelter, they should be depressed, u have no reason to be depressed" ?


I really don't understand why people feel to mention that.


To prove something, some ppl just don't get depression, it would be logical to think kids with no food or shelter would be depressed but illogical for a person with both would be depressed.



Ah, I see.
Posted 8/20/14 , edited 8/20/14
I've never gone for a diagnosis, but I've constantly felt depressed since around 9th grade, maybe earlier. I'm very socially awkward and timid (I do my best not to show that part, though). Too many times I've degenerated into ZOMBIE MOANS when meeting someone. Especially embarrassing when my sister once introduced me to a guy, who, had not only met Stephen Hawking, but thought he was boring. While I talk to people quite casually at school, lame sex jokes and whatnot, I don't really "connect" with or feel any attachment to them such as to call them friends whatsoever. I was pretty stoic, deadpan, and snarky before I started feeling depressed anyway, so I don't think anyone even suspects there's something wrong with me. I once tried telling them I'm depressed, just to see if they thought so, but they didn't take me seriously.

My own parents don't help either. They're always pushing me to succeed, and my grades reflect that (or they do for now anyway, but I see they've slipped by a few points...) but I rarely hear them ever congratulating me or expressing any kind of favor towards me. Of course, they nonchalantly say "good job" or something sometimes, but that pales in comparison to the minute-long "The Reason You Suck" speech I get whenever I make a mistake or fail at something, which is pretty often, since I'm an absent-minded ditz, too. In fact, those "good job"s are sometimes the highlights of my days. I started going to the gym with my mom this summer, and rather than sympathizing with me for that always hard first day she once had (not that I was begging for it or anything), she laughed at me and called me wimpy the whole ride home; she's also called me a loser before, in her own words, if you know what I mean. I hardly ever see my Dad because of his job, but when I do, he's always pushing me to get out of the house and watch a movie or a baseball game with him (both of which I can't help but find boring and undesirable). In addition, he's VERY positive and religious, completely the opposite of negative, nihilistic me, so he always criticizes my demeanor, and says.......................................... You guessed it, "be more positive". As you may have probably guessed, I don't like talking to my parents either.

The semester before that (and it'll probably be similar this next school year, too), I just couldn't force myself to do my schoolwork anymore (I've always been the highest in the class, but never liked school, everything's boring and I have no plans for the future, nor the will to attend college). At the same time, I felt like I hit a brick wall in my guitar playing. Normally, you'd hear playing an instrument helps people feel better, but it's quite the opposite for me, as I've never been able to satisfy myself with my playing. I remember how optimistic I was when I first started at 12 years old, playing all day, every day, until my fingertips felt like granite, thinking "I'm gonna make Jimi Hendrix look like shit!", but now, I can barely force myself to play for more than a few minutes at a time; the only song I still play with any frequency is a fingerstyle arrangement I found on Gametabs of CANOE composed by Jun Maeda, since it's my favorite song (or its alternate version, Song of Passage, or more accurately, its piano arrangement called Journey). Every once in a while, between the days I feel like I won't accomplish anything in life, I feel optimistic, literally the best I could possibly feel, thinking, "I shouldn't worry about my future, plenty of people can enjoy their lives without a purpose or goal", or "Today, I'm gonna try playing again"... But then a day or two later, I feel lethargic, unmotivated, and nihilistic again. I think that's probably why I started watching anime and got back into gaming, as I always find myself imagining taking the place of any protagonist, and I often daydream what It'd be like to be a particularly badass one who succeeds at everything and is admired by everyone, like Link or a Joestar. Hell, I think I could easily convert my daydreams into an anime at least 50 episodes long, and even came up with the idea of my dusty electric guitar being able to take a human form, Soul Eaters-style, and play Smash Bros./kick ass with me.

Damn, I hope this isn't too long, and sorry about all those parentheses... Just had to vent anonymously.
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