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Post Reply Marry with Kids or Marry with Debt?
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Posted 8/30/14
Is there a third option to just not to get married at all
Posted 8/30/14
Neither I'd rather be single than deal with those options.
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Posted 8/30/14

x-Cellar_Door-x wrote:

Marry a single Lady with a Child, or Children. I would absolutely cherish the act of becoming a Step-Father...Considering I can't have Children of My OWN...


Dude, you're sterile?

Hanging too much at the radiology lab?
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 8/30/14 , edited 8/30/14
Kids are horrible and I don't believe in love so marriage will not happen. I can go on living my life stress free, only having to take care of myself <3
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24 / M / Under your skin.
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Posted 8/30/14
Neither.
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Posted 8/30/14 , edited 8/30/14

galaxiias wrote:

Is there a third option to just not to get married at all


Yes. You can be a nun and get married with our Lord Jesus Christ.
It's called Consecrated Virgins. Because they are not going to take husbands on the physical earth and they have given their bodies over to the work of Christ (see Mother Teresa for example).
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20 / M / CA
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Posted 8/30/14
I am an average young adult with no special skills or talents whatsoever. I am not sharp or smart enough to raise money for a huge debt or evade sharks. I am nor responsible enough to take care of kids simply because I have no experience YET.

NEITHER
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 8/31/14
I wouldn't go for either. I can't stand children. If someone has some sort of college debt or something that's their concern but I wouldn't be helping foot the bills. I wouldn't mind dating someone or being with someone that's still paying back their loans though. But if they have debt from just reckless spending, I wouldn't be dating them to begin with. I'm very picky with who I date and who I'd be willing to end up with because I don't want to be the only one with pants in a relationship. As much as I spend on anime figures and other assorted merchandise, I still live within my own means and I don't have any sort of reckless debt caused by my hobbies. So if I can live financially safe then so can anyone else that I'd be with.
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36 / M
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Posted 8/31/14
Neither is a problem. People are often horrified by how well I can get children to behave. If I end up liking them, great. If not, well I will raise them properly and get them started on life. I have already been responsible for raising one (not mine or a significant other's, long story) and she turned out fine. I now have my own and she is a work in progress, but I have no real concerns. When I met my wife she had over 10k in credit card debt and some other debts besides. I drafted a plan and she had it eliminated in less than five years. Discover card were the worst to deal with, but my legal-fu was sufficient to scare their collections team into submission. Current wife (then girlfriend), "This is my legal representative," hands me the phone... I have no problems dealing with debt or kids. Life has far worse things to throw your way than those. I have been shot at, I have had knives pulled on me, had a semi-truck switch into my lane in a rain storm with no where to fall back or speed ahead to due to traffic, etc. A little debt or some kid? Sure, no problem. A guy nearly cuts off his finger in the middle of the woods about a mile from the first aid station? Slight problem. I have dealt with a lot in my time, often for relatively little in return. If love is on the line I can handle quite a bit.
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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 8/31/14
Kid aren't a problem...

Money is.

Every woman I go out with doesn't like it when they ask me to bail their asses out of debt and I tell them they can help me while I help them. For some stupid reason I'm supposed to dig them out before I get help? "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out."
That is why I never married.
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21 / F / Los Angeles
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Posted 8/31/14
Coming from a family whose business is in 800k of debt, I would rather have a kid of my own with a secure lifestyle compared to a life full of financial worries.

I don't consider a tiny credit card with less than 15k worth of debt on it an actual burden. That is something you could easily pay off and otherwise move on with your life.
Fyk0 
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26 / M / Winland
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Posted 8/31/14
Such pick your poison. I would stay single, unless the dept is not so big and the reason in the first place for it wouldn't be stupidity
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38 / M / Kansas
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Posted 8/31/14
Neither is ideal, but the kids option seems terribler. I think I would see the children and always be reminded of her previous relationship and feel jealousy. If she were a widow it may be bearable, but if the father had partial custody such that she was still in regular communication with a previous lover... I think that would be unbearable.
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30 / F / New Orleans, LA USA
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Posted 9/2/14
Taking this question completely at face value, I'd take the kids. Raising children and being a part of their lives can be trying, but it can also be rewarding and fulfilling. There is nothing uplifting or positive about taking on debt.
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 9/2/14
I married with minor debt and now have 4 kids.

So, there's that.

Based on the original question - assuming I'm pre-marriage and the choice was between a woman with children or a woman with excessive debt (minor debt is not an obstacle), I'd chose a woman children.
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