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Post Reply Marry with Kids or Marry with Debt?
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 2/9/15
Neither. Marriage is for suckers.
Posted 2/9/15 , edited 2/9/15
Not a big fan of children or marriage, but I'd go for debt over children. Ideally neither.
If you marry a woman with children and things don't work out, you can get hit for child support even though they are not yours. No matter what her debt is, child support is probably going to be around 20% (depending on location and number of kids) of your income
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35 / M / The IshVille
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Posted 2/9/15
I would NEVER marry a woman who had kids. NEVER. Why? I have 5 brothers and sisters, but I'm the only one from my parents. All of my siblings come from my parent's first marriages.

I have seen the internal drama of marrying into relationships with kids play out for my entire life. The hard feelings, the drama, the "You're not my Dad!", "You're not my mom!". Even the resentment between my siblings towards each other. I was the only one spared it, because I was the only one related to everyone, plus I was the youngest. Seeing that play out, STILL seeing that play out now for 33 years? I would never do it myself.

Heck, I have enough trouble keeping relationships together when it's just two of us, anyway...

Give me debt, any day.
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Posted 2/9/15
Neither.

I got like enough problems already plus kids piss me off.
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Posted 2/9/15
I'll go with kids over debt any day. The only way kids can affect your credit is if they get more expensive crap that they don't need. At least with the kids you can help make them better people in the long run. Debt, on the other hand, will screw you over more than any kid.
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27 / M / Iceland
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Posted 2/9/15
I prefer neither but if I forced to make a decision then I'd go with the woman in debt. Either way I'll be expected to pay. At least with a woman in debt I wouldn't have to put up with any drama that involves around the kid.
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Posted 2/10/15
Kids... Debt... Aren't they the same thing, just spelled differently?
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Posted 2/10/15
Debt and there would be no teen pregnancies in my household.
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35 / M
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Posted 2/10/15
teen pregnancies... that just shows the age of this group.

At 33, kids don't necessarily mean a teen pregnancy for my dating age anymore...

But, it took a lot of work to have my very mediocre savings (just under $10K) and to keep my debts under $3K... Like 10 years of saving pennies on the dollar, paying off my debts, the loans I cosigned for my sister, loss of work... It's been a LOT of work for that status.

Still, I think the debt, as long as it was not insurmountable, and it was not asked of me to "solve" it all away, then I'd be fine with the debt. Far more preferable than having the debt that comes with children and the emotional baggage that comes from the previous relationship.

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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 2/10/15

A-Eky wrote:You fail to see the potential in the spawn. Let say after they grow up and you struggle and put their ass through college and they become a genius and create like a groundbreaking invention and made a shit ton of money. You are going to benefit tremendously from it. There are mad parents who live vicariously off their kids and offspring like the entire Kardashian family for example, not a single one of them have any talent whatsoever. So you have to think about the long term benefits as well that the spawn can provide and the debt fails to, if anything it increases over a long term period lol
This would be true if I was the spawns father. However, I am marrying into the family. Just because I raised the spawn does not mean that they will give a damn about me in the future. The spawn could just as likely end up like my cousins. Constantly in and out of prison depending on me to bail them out and pay their legal fees.

Posted 2/10/15
I would prefer debt.
I mean, really, I'd prefer neither
but I can at least help them budget
and continue to keep separate bank accounts.
Posted 2/10/15
They both sound awful. Where is the normal option?
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13 / F / California
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Posted 2/10/15
could always sell the kids to pay for debt....
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21 / M / My Couch
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Posted 2/10/15
I'll take the kids. I always wanted children of my own.
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22 / M / Hongdae
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Posted 2/10/15
A reasonable debt like schooling I dont mind. I understand that a lot of people leave college with it, and its not always something they can do much about right away.

I dont mind 1 or 2 kids also, but I'd have to get along with them. I'd probably see them more as little brothers/sisters right now more than kids.
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