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Flaky People
Posted 9/13/14

severticas wrote:

Confront her and tell her you're hurt by what she did.


Yes, the most logical thing to do. What I find in these situations is that the other person, plain and simply, just doesn't care about you and your feelings. I've done this sort of thing to people and others to me. There's nothing special going on here. The other person isn't doing this out of malice. They just don't care. But taking away the cynicism from all of this, it could be likely that there's something happening in her personal life. Who knows?
Posted 9/13/14

compress wrote:


severticas wrote:

Confront her and tell her you're hurt by what she did.


Yes, the most logical thing to do. What I find in these situations is that the other person, plain and simply, just doesn't care about you and your feelings. I've done this sort of thing to people and others to me. There's nothing special going on here. The other person isn't doing this out of malice. They just don't care. But taking away the cynicism from all of this, it could be likely that there's something happening in her personal life. Who knows?


It doesn't matter what the other person will think about your feelings, just getting it out of your chest works and you don't need to see them ever again.
Posted 9/13/14 , edited 9/13/14

severticas wrote:

It doesn't matter what the other person will think about your feelings, just getting it out of your chest works and you don't need to see them ever again.


That's what I'm saying. If they don't care about you, then seeing them is a waste of time. BUT, if there's something unfortunate happening in their personal life, then its probably a good idea to let these things slide and perhaps ask them out some other time.
Posted 9/13/14 , edited 9/13/14

compress wrote:


severticas wrote:

It doesn't matter what the other person will think about your feelings, just getting it out of your chest works and you don't need to see them ever again.


That's what I'm saying. If they don't care about you, then seeing them is a waste of time. BUT, if there's something unfortunate happening in their personal life, then its probably a good idea to let these things slide and perhaps ask them out some other time.


fuck their unfortunate lives
Posted 9/13/14

severticas wrote:

fuck their unfortunate lives


Quite the good samaritan, aren't you?
Posted 9/13/14

compress wrote:


severticas wrote:

fuck their unfortunate lives


Quite the good samaritan, aren't you?


wait, i might BE there for them. Let's make them feel worse.
Posted 9/13/14 , edited 9/13/14

severticas wrote:

wait, i might BE there for them. Let's make them feel worse.


Look, my point is that one shouldn't dismiss somebody because they messed up one or two times. If its a recurring thing then they may not be worth bothering with. But the actions of people aren't usually indicative of their feelings and the things they want. Just saying.
Posted 9/13/14

compress wrote:


severticas wrote:

wait, i might BE there for them. Let's make them feel worse.


Look, my point is that one shouldn't dismiss somebody because they messed up one or two times. If its a recurring thing then they may not be worth bothering with. But the actions of people aren't usually indicative of their feelings and the things they want. Just saying.


shut up, this is not about you.


lol i'm playing. but seriously, what are you going on about? making something irrelevant into a discussion of some sort.
Posted 9/13/14

severticas wrote:


shut up, this is not about you.


lol i'm playing. but seriously, what are you going on about? making something irrelevant into a discussion of some sort.


Irrelevant? How so? You, yourself said "Confront her and tell her you're hurt by what she did." Doing so would naturally lead to some sort of expectation of an excuse. Or at the very least an apology. I used the case of "an unfortunate incident" as an example. I'm not disagreeing with you. Confrontation is usually the best thing to do. But if you're not the confrontational type or confrontation doesn't feel right, don't get mad and just forget about it - this doesn't mean you have to stop talking to them. Anyway, these things depend on the kind of relationship you have with the other person. Hope I'm making sense here - I'm under the impression I'm not lol.
Posted 9/13/14

compress wrote:


severticas wrote:


shut up, this is not about you.


lol i'm playing. but seriously, what are you going on about? making something irrelevant into a discussion of some sort.


Irrelevant? How so? You, yourself said "Confront her and tell her you're hurt by what she did." Doing so would naturally lead to some sort of expectation of an excuse. Or at the very least an apology. I used the case of "an unfortunate incident" as an example. I'm not disagreeing with you. Confrontation is usually the best thing to do. But if you're not the confrontational type or confrontation doesn't feel right, don't get mad and just forget about it - this doesn't mean you have to stop talking to them. Anyway, these things depend on the kind of relationship you have with the other person. Hope I'm making sense here - I'm under the impression I'm not lol.


expectation is what got you hurt in the first place. fuck their feelings, i repeat..
Posted 9/13/14 , edited 9/13/14
You know I'm kind of a flake to some of my friends. But to tell you the truth I have my reasons. These friends I have are the kind who never come to visit you at your home. Like whenever I want to see some of them it's always at their homes. Other reason I flake is they always have someone I don't know visiting with them as well. I mean they shouldn't have to make any accommodations for me, but they should know me by now. I get extremely shy and nervous around new people. Almost to the point which I make up a lie and say I have to go. Or I'll make plans to hang out with them, then on the day we are suppose to hang out they tell someone is over as well... I start backing out right away. Reason why I say "they or them" is because I have about two or three different friends who do this all the time. Not all my friends do this, it's just these ones...
Posted 9/13/14 , edited 9/13/14

severticas wrote:


expectation is what got you hurt in the first place. fuck their feelings, i repeat..


A life of apathy is not for me. Been there done that.
Posted 9/13/14

compress wrote:


severticas wrote:


expectation is what got you hurt in the first place. fuck their feelings, i repeat..


A life of apathy is not for me. Been there done that.


is this the life for you?


Posted 9/13/14

severticas wrote:


is this the life for you?




LOL. Maybe. Joke. I don't know to be honest. I'm still trying to find out. But definitely not that either lol.
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Posted 9/13/14 , edited 9/13/14

EternalHero wrote:

You know I'm kind of a flake to some of my friends. But to tell you the truth I have my reasons. These friends I have are the kind who never come to visit you at your home. Like whenever I want to see some of them it's always at their homes. Other reason I flake is they always have someone I don't know visiting with them as well. I mean they shouldn't have to make any accommodations for me, but they should know me by now. I get extremely shy and nervous around new people. Almost to the point which I make up a lie and say I have to go. Or I'll make plans to hang out with them, then on the day we are suppose to hang out they tell someone is over as well... I start backing out right away. Reason why I say "they or them" is because I have about two or three different friends who do this all the time. Not all my friends do this, it's just these ones...


I have friends like that too actually, albeit it's not usually something about "oh someone else is coming over", it's more or less, "oh I changed my mind". And considering now I live on Long Island now as opposed to upstate NY and they're in NJ, I have barely bothered to see them since I moved...those tolls thru Staten Island and over Manhattan are RIDICULOUS.

Regardless, now in my current job, I have a full understanding of how to handle stuff like this as I deal with aggravating people on a daily basis. If someone is giving you a hard time in any way shape or form, DON'T GET ATTACHED!
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