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Girl troubles
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19 / M / Future Gadget Lab...
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Posted 9/14/14
So yeah...it's going to be one of those topics. You've probably have seen a million of these, but nonetheless, I turn to the community for help:

There's been a girl I've liked for a long time. I met her three years ago in Freshman year of high school, she was very kind to me, and I started to realize my feelings for her pretty quick. I hesitated back then; I was still inexperienced in romance and I didn't have a lot of confidence in myself back then (I was fresh out of middle school, after all). Ultimately, she ended up getting a jack-ass boyfriend the following year. He didn't treat her right, but I couldn't do anything because I didn't want to hurt her and I didn't have any proof of his actions; he just rubbed the wrong way and his demeanor was "player"-like. I had attempted to suppress any feelings I might have had for her as a result and hoped that she'd do alright, and that I'd only intervene if she needed help.

I had someone confess to me sometime later and she and I went out for a month and a half before I figured out it wasn't going to work. Junior year was hard because family issues arose that were bigger than I could have ever imagined, and I mean life-changing issues that resulted in a divorce. My household was deteriorating more and more everyday. I had my own stress that I was dealing with at home and academically, and I even needed to distance myself from friends. Point is, I couldn't bring her or anyone into my life and my last relationship partially proved that; it wouldn't be fair to get them involved in all that and I wasn't mentally stable enough to have a relationship.

After all that ended, and after a summer passed where I went through some therapeutic recover (nothing serious; I just needed someone to talk to who wasn't involved), Senior year dawned upon me. This was my chance, but she ended up getting another boyfriend. I just found out tonight, even after I finally (as an older man) had the courage to ask her out. I don't know the guy; he might be nice, but it still hurts. I don't really know what to do about it.

Should I leave them alone, not do anything and simply try to move on with my life?

Or should I confess my feelings, even if it's just to get it off my chest and it goes nowhere?

We've became really good friends this year and I don't want to ruin anything that we might have now, but at the same time, I want to know if I should or should not hold on to such feelings.

I'd appreciate it if you'd quote my original post so I can hear your feedback and thank you for taking the time to read this.
Posted 9/14/14


Well It doesn't hurt to pull her aside and tell her how you felt, yes she is in a relationship but you are just admitting you feelings and that you will always be there for her no matter what. Don't let a moment pass you by. If you don't then later on down the road you will be thinking "should've, could've, would've". c: Good luck either way if you tell her or not. Personally I would tell a person if I liked them rather than not tell them especially if it has been a long time.
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Posted 9/14/14


I'd say that you should tell her, for the sole purpose that it seems to mean a lot to you, and is very likely to become something you'd regret otherwise. You can make it clear to her that you aren't asking for anything or trying to get between her relationship. Who knows? Maybe later on she may even break up with this guy and you'll find yourselves in a more opportune time. I wouldn't stay completely hung up on it though. You do need to move forward with your life. But I doubt you'd just leave behind someone who seems to mean so much to you. So maybe one day there will be another chance. I wish you the best in life. May you have a happier one~<3
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Posted 9/14/14
I'd also say you should probably tell her. In the worst case, doing so may at least give you the closure needed to move on.

That said, I'd also take my own advice with a grain of salt. My dating history is pretty bad.
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Posted 9/14/14
Whats up with the purple text?
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Posted 9/14/14 , edited 9/14/14


You should probably tell her, you'll never feel better if you keep your feeling hidden deep whitin you.

If you do, then you should probably think about how you phrase your words... If you don't then she might take it as "Hey´, I love you... Dump the guy and choose me", and you did say yourself that you didn't want to hurt her feelings.


Raimu4 wrote:

Whats up with the purple text?


What's wrong whit your comment? This isn't relative to the thread...
Posted 9/14/14

Raimu4 wrote:

Whats up with the purple text?


Exactly what I thought.
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30 / M / Central KY.
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Posted 9/14/14

Raimu4 wrote:

Whats up with the purple text?


Purple text is sexy!

...Not that I use it or anything....
Posted 9/14/14
-enters thread... runs out of thread-
Posted 9/14/14
oh no, i'm not going anywhere.. oh noooooooooooooo!


must. face. it.
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Posted 9/14/14 , edited 9/14/14

Nightblade370 wrote:


I'd appreciate it if you'd quote my original post so I can hear your feedback and thank you for taking the time to read this.


I think you sound like a really nice guy, which I dunno... is really nice to see.

There are so many girls out there who just love nice guys who at the same time doesn't let being nice stop them from getting what they want. I feel like i personally fall in this category. We might not be the same, but i do recognise some of your circumstances in me when i was a bit younger.

It might be she is naturally attracted to someone different, someone a bit meaner. You will have to be a judge for that.

Anyway, I wouldn't confess your feelings to her unless you wanted to break away from her, and get things off your chest.
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Posted 9/14/14

MadameNoir wrote:


Raimu4 wrote:

Whats up with the purple text?


Exactly what I thought.


Good that I'm not the only one.
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22 / F / None ya business.
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Posted 9/14/14
The purple hate is real. Such bland, colorless posts.

TASTE THE RAINBOW~!!!
Posted 9/14/14

Luchsen wrote:


MadameNoir wrote:


Raimu4 wrote:

Whats up with the purple text?


Exactly what I thought.


Good that I'm not the only one.


Omg I feel so special. Someone quoted me.
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21 / F / Los Angeles
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Posted 9/14/14 , edited 9/14/14

Nightblade370 wrote:

I'd appreciate it if you'd quote my original post so I can hear your feedback and thank you for taking the time to read this.


I graduated high school with worst case scenario family issues as well. Not fun, and I eventually cut myself from my social circle during senior year. It's not like I wanted to, but more like I had to if I wanted to pick up the pieces and start over again.

As for the confession, only you can answer that yourself. I mean, honestly, you've been through a hard time. You need to date someone that can support you through the good and the bad. You should probably ask yourself what kinds of guys she's been dating. If she's going for the flingy-player types, chances are she's not the one. The friends I had in high school that chose guys like that didn't know a thing about life, and that didn't change 4 years later. But if you think otherwise, go ahead and confess, boyfriend or not. It's not like you have anything to lose.
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