Things you tolerate + Advice
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23 / M / Phoenix
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Posted 9/19/14 , edited 9/19/14
Today I realized that I tolerate many things. For example, right now, I'm being ignored completely and instead of talking to me (because lets face it, that's what you do when you're in a call with someone,) the person whom I'm in a call with is spending time with their roommates even though I'm literally right there. Why not just message me and tell me that you're going to be spending time with said roommates, and either mute me or hang up?

I'm a pacifist and a people pleaser. I take everything in that goes on around me, yet I refuse to take action against it. However... I've started to think that I should stop putting up with everything and just stop caring about people getting hurt, stop trying to make everyone happy.

What does everyone think? I can go into specifics if this thread gets enough weight, but... in general, I'm just getting fed up with the way I'm dealing with things because people take advantage of me. I'm mainly just sick of getting ignored. More often then not, I don't have hardly anyone to talk to, so when I get to be in a call, I enjoy talking. Yet... This stuff. It really bothers me.

Also, to the admins, I'm completely new to posting a thread, so please don't use the banhammer against me too hard >.< I read the rules and I couldn't find a thread similar so...
Posted 9/20/14
Maybe you should be an asskicker and people smasher, because what does being nice get us? Nothing, quite often.

Quit trying to climb up people's rosters for worthiness. You can't be everything to everyone and you don't have to work hard to be anyone's friend. These are two principles which my old man taught me and they've come in handy when I see shitbags who don't ever care to return the favor and walk allover you.

Fuck people. Fuck 'em. Bunch of two-faced fucking n#gge#s.
Posted 9/20/14
People often call me patient when in fact what tends to prevent me from punching annoying creatures is a criminal record.
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Posted 9/20/14 , edited 9/20/14
Johnboy, being tolerant is good and all, but we tend to overdo things.

I think you are totally right in your doubts - you should not tolerate when people treat you like nothing - for their own good. If you keep doing this, they will think their behavior is OK and never learn, so, I say, be straightforward about such things - especially with friends.

Besides, otherwise, irritation will accumulate, and one day you'll just explode and act literally according to Anticosm's post final advise lol. And all your concerns about not getting people hurt will be in vain.

Don't worry, people won't disappear just because you tell them you don't like something, if you tell normally. Those who will (disappear) were never interested in you in the first place - even less reasons to worry.

If that is just one practical thing that annoys you - you might be surprised by the reaction when you tell. Person could just have never been in same position as you so didn't know it hurts. They may become sincerely sorry when they learn.

If you are sure they don't need you but tolerate this b/c you are lonely and afraid you won't find other friends - that's wrong on all levels too. You will find, and if you need to change whatever about you for this, then sticking with fake friends holds you from doing this. But, I think, better to talk to learn for sure anyway.

We all do mistakes, so we do need a tolerance. It's nonsense to expect anyone to change in a heartbeat or to be good all the time. But, when you communicate the problem, you at least can say if person totally ignores your feelings, or actually tries to be considerate but sometimes fails - then your tolerance is not in vain. If you keep silence about it, you will never know.
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Posted 9/20/14
Take a massive dump on their head while they are sleeping and when they awake ask them how they like being shit on.
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21 / F / Los Angeles
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Posted 9/20/14

madmejis wrote:

Take a massive dump on their head while they are sleeping and when they awake ask them how they like being shit on.


It's a shit on or be shitted on society out there.
Posted 9/20/14 , edited 9/20/14
i can't say i remember tolerating anything i didn't need to. If i can't stand something, i remove myself from the situation.
if this person is ignoring you because they think it gets under your skin, ignore them when they really need you :).. it's more likely people try to hurt others with what would drive them themselves insane. For me, being ignored is a non issue unless i really like them. i'd still hold a grudge because of their intent.

DollyDagger11 wrote:


madmejis wrote:

Take a massive dump on their head while they are sleeping and when they awake ask them how they like being shit on.


It's a shit on or be shitted on society out there.


lol
One Punch Mod
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F / Boston-ish
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Posted 9/20/14

Johnboy769 wrote:

Today I realized that I tolerate many things. For example, right now, I'm being ignored completely and instead of talking to me (because lets face it, that's what you do when you're in a call with someone,) the person whom I'm in a call with is spending time with their roommates even though I'm literally right there. Why not just message me and tell me that you're going to be spending time with said roommates, and either mute me or hang up?

I'm a pacifist and a people pleaser. I take everything in that goes on around me, yet I refuse to take action against it. However... I've started to think that I should stop putting up with everything and just stop caring about people getting hurt, stop trying to make everyone happy.

What does everyone think? I can go into specifics if this thread gets enough weight, but... in general, I'm just getting fed up with the way I'm dealing with things because people take advantage of me. I'm mainly just sick of getting ignored. More often then not, I don't have hardly anyone to talk to, so when I get to be in a call, I enjoy talking. Yet... This stuff. It really bothers me.

Also, to the admins, I'm completely new to posting a thread, so please don't use the banhammer against me too hard >.< I read the rules and I couldn't find a thread similar so...


Hi, no banning, but this fall into the category of being a personal advice request, and we don't allow separate threads for that, so I've closed it.

However, we do have a main thread for posting requests for information or advice, so you can post there instead:

The General Help/Advice Thread (it"s "stickied" near the top of the General Discussion forum)
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