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Any of you have any disorders/mental illnesses/disabilities?
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 10/5/14
I have ADHD and Bipolar both. I still get depressed once in a while but lucky no suicidal thoughts fill my head. Although there is that one thought that lies deep in the back of my mind is "what am I doing here?". I had ADHD and Bipolar for years and did not know that. I started getting depression at the age sixteen and a lot of other problems came along the way as well. I finally discovered I had ADHD and Bipolar by myself earlier this year. I was pissed off yet I got over it.

Now I take pills and see a psychiatrist. I use to see a therapist but my insurance no longer makes me do that. I miss talking to one though.
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29 / F / England
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Posted 10/5/14

Emmerah wrote:

Yeah, Hydrotherapy is great. Love the pool... about the only place I can move around freely. I wish I could stay in there forever!

DMARD's I'm taking are Hydroxychloroquine and Sulfasalazine. I was also on the NSAID Naproxen, but it makes me really sick so they took me off of it. For pain I take Panadol Osteo, but it doesn't really work.. Gonna talk to the specialist next appointment and ask for a different pain med.

No surgeries have been suggested or talked about.

I'd never heard of a Tens Machine before now... that thing seems handy! I wonder how many working people there are using them.

I love hot baths too! Though this house doesn't have any baths. It'd be so nice to just sit and read in a good hot bath for a while... As it is, on my worst days I bundle myself up in bed and my partner potters around and gets things for me. I've got the TV for entertainment, and I can have a book brought over if I need it... It'd be luxurious if it weren't so painful.

I think there's a bunch of other stuff that can go wrong with RA, too... I read up on all of it when I was first diagnosed and scared myself senseless... but it's as you said, if you spend all your time worried and consumed by your illness, life will get away from you.


I was on methotrexate but had to stop as soon as we started family planning, it gave me migraines and in most of my photos I ware wigs the reason for that is methotrexate made clumps of hair fall out

I have months where im like BUGGER IT and cut my hair short and ware wigs because its hard to maintain patchy hair haha, its ok at the moment though as I have been moved on to Sulfasalazine which I will come off of just before they transfer the embryo if it survives thawing...

I cant be on most of my meds if we get pregnant... they all severely affect development... so I am going to be in AGONY so we are currently looking into alternatives... this is difficult as we need to find something that works, dsnt affect the baby and dsnt clash with my other meds

YAY

I think were looking into combos of Adalimumab and/or Certolizumab Pegol and a DMARD I cant remember the name of or had heard off before.....its not sulfasalazine, leflunomide, methotrexate or hydroxychloroquine.

I have immune system issues due to another drug I am on so its hard combining the right meds

we are discussing arthroscopy on my ankle at the moment and possible fusion in my 40's

Ankles are difficult to treat when its arthritis yet alone , nf, psudarthrosis and arthritis sooooo my ankle will continue to be a problem >_<

Pain killers wise I now ask for what ever I think I need and they prescribe now the dr says how bad is it and what ones do you think you need lol

have you tried the stronger painkiller meds like tramadol, oxycodone or morphine patches?

Just wondering on the surgery issue as some of my friends with RA have been suggested, some havent, some didnt know there were surgical options.

I have had a lot of different bone, muscle and nerve operations, so surgery isnt as big of a deal to me but its terrifying for some.

TENS machine is well worth looking into my friend has fibromyalgia and her flare ups are awful her TENS machine has made it so she isnt bed ridden. Another RA friend has it and she works part time in an office. its not a miracle worker but it can make a big difference in peoples lives.

aw sorry you dont have a bath, I couldnt live in a house without one because I rely on it so much, I am actually in the bath at the moment lol had a flare up today

its lovely that your partner looks after you its nice to have someone who cares

yeah the internet can be over the top and all like YOU ARE GOING TO DIE when it comes to looking up disorders, illnesses and diseases...

searching mine is particularly shocking... type my condition into google and click images and.......

WARNING DO NOT LOOK IF EASILY UPSET
link shows deformities you can have with nf



I hope you can find a combination of meds and pain killers that make things as good for you as possible, I hope they can do more for you in the future.

and on a happy note again yay hydrotherapy! I love it my joints love it, my ankle feels amazing as does my back, I couldnt praise it more

Feel free to pm me any time for a rant, vent, to talk or anything I know how frustrating and lonely living in pain and with disability can get even if you are surrounded by loved ones.
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22 / F / Australia
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Posted 10/5/14 , edited 10/5/14

Aura-chan wrote:

I was on methotrexate but had to stop as soon as we started family planning, it gave me migraines and in most of my photos I ware wigs the reason for that is methotrexate made clumps of hair fall out

I have months where im like BUGGER IT and cut my hair short and ware wigs because its hard to maintain patchy hair haha, its ok at the moment though as I have been moved on to Sulfasalazine which I will come off of just before they transfer the embryo if it survives thawing...

I cant be on most of my meds if we get pregnant... they all severely affect development... so I am going to be in AGONY so we are currently looking into alternatives... this is difficult as we need to find something that works, dsnt affect the baby and dsnt clash with my other meds

YAY

I think were looking into combos of Adalimumab and/or Certolizumab Pegol and a DMARD I cant remember the name of or had heard off before.....its not sulfasalazine, leflunomide, methotrexate or hydroxychloroquine.

I have immune system issues due to another drug I am on so its hard combining the right meds

we are discussing arthroscopy on my ankle at the moment and possible fusion in my 40's

Ankles are difficult to treat when its arthritis yet alone , nf, psudarthrosis and arthritis sooooo my ankle will continue to be a problem >_<

Pain killers wise I now ask for what ever I think I need and they prescribe now the dr says how bad is it and what ones do you think you need lol

have you tried the stronger painkiller meds like tramadol, oxycodone or morphine patches?

Just wondering on the surgery issue as some of my friends with RA have been suggested, some havent, some didnt know there were surgical options.

I have had a lot of different bone, muscle and nerve operations, so surgery isnt as big of a deal to me but its terrifying for some.

TENS machine is well worth looking into my friend has fibromyalgia and her flare ups are awful her TENS machine has made it so she isnt bed ridden. Another RA friend has it and she works part time in an office. its not a miracle worker but it can make a big difference in peoples lives.

aw sorry you dont have a bath, I couldnt live in a house without one because I rely on it so much, I am actually in the bath at the moment lol had a flare up today

its lovely that your partner looks after you its nice to have someone who cares

yeah the internet can be over the top and all like YOU ARE GOING TO DIE when it comes to looking up disorders, illnesses and diseases...

searching mine is particularly shocking... type my condition into google and click images and.......

WARNING DO NOT LOOK IF EASILY UPSET
link shows deformities you can have with nf



I hope you can find a combination of meds and pain killers that make things as good for you as possible, I hope they can do more for you in the future.

and on a happy note again yay hydrotherapy! I love it my joints love it, my ankle feels amazing as does my back, I couldnt praise it more

Feel free to pm me any time for a rant, vent, to talk or anything I know how frustrating and lonely living in pain and with disability can get even if you are surrounded by loved ones.


Hey, good luck with the having a baby thing! I hope it goes really well for you. My partner and I would really love to have kids at some stage - once we've got a place of our own and have most of this stuff set into a routine.

Finding the right combination of meds can be hard when you've only got one thing going on... let alone several things. I hope that goes well for you, too!

We've really only had a couple specialist appointments so far, so not much has been discussed really. Last time was the first I'd had pain medication prescribed or mentioned at all. I'm definitely going to ask for something stronger next time, since Panadol Osteo doesn't do anything for me.

I don't think Surgery is needed for me at the moment really... Though it may be a good idea for me to ask about it next appt. ... The idea of surgery is really scary to me, but if it were necessary for life to get better for me I could probably shrug that off enough to go through with it.

I think I'll definitely look into a TENS machine, maybe it won't be a miracle worker or everything I need, but it sounds like it could be very helpful.

Yeah, it's really nice to have a partner who gets it and doesn't mind running all over the place in the hopes of making me feel better... I wish he didn't have to. It can get a bit frustrating... When I first started having symptoms I'd try to keep doing everything on my own and I'd end up in a whole lot more pain than if I'd just accepted that there was nothing wrong with accepting help when I needed it... It took me forever to admit that I needed a cane or a wheelchair. Damn pride.

Yeah... the internet can over react some. It tends to forget to add the percentile risk of the side effects and things that can happen with this stuff.
That link is terrifying. *shudders*

School holidays here ends soon, so we'll be making a date for the hot pool then. It's a bit too crowded at the local one during school holidays. People take their kids to the health centre to swim instead of to the ordinary pool... I don't really mind, but it can be annoying when one is trying to do their exercises and keeps getting bumped by small children who haven't learned how to share space yet.

Hey, thanks. I'm sure you know how much of a relief it can be to chat with someone who 'gets it' in a deeper capacity. I love my partner, he's so sweet and understanding... But sometimes that can actually be worse, almost. I'm not sure how to explain it.. Like of course it isn't worse than if I didn't have him here.. but yeah. I dunno. I don't think I can explain it, really.

Again, I hope everything goes really really well for you in your child having endeavour.

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17 / M / Galaxy
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Posted 10/5/14
I feel at certain times that I might be mentally ill because I just have this weird emotion of not understanding this world/ or its logic. Its kind of hard to describe.
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25 / F / Ontario, Canada
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Posted 10/5/14
I struggled with severe depression and anxiety growing up.
I switched to online classes in 7th grade because I couldn't handle the school setting anymore, and spent most of my young teen years hiding in my room, unshowered, addicted to the internet and MMORPGs. I developed online relationships constantly, and had a bad complex of needing male/any attention. Suicide was constantly on my mind. I was forever doing research, and had a few sloppy attempts. I could go on, and I'm leaving the most shameful stuff out, I was just generally a basketcase of a mess.

I'd seen a handful of different psychiatrists that all had something different to diagnose me with, and have been on many different medications.
I hated counseling, the majority of it was spent discussing school and never seemed to get to the root of my problems. I never felt comfortable with any of the counselors, it always felt like punishment.

I don't know exactly when things started to change, it was a slow transition...but I'm 22 now and my life is completely different.
I'm in another country, with a partner and a son who I adore.
My mind is focused on my family, playing with my son, what we need at the grocery, how I can get that mystery stain out of the grout in the corner of the kitchen... it's like I have a different brain. I still have moments of sadness or a bit of anxiety, but I'm stable, I'm happy.

I just wanted to quickly tell my story in case someone might get something out of it.

Basically, give yourself time.
It might take years, and you might not even realize that you're changing, but there's a chance you won't recognize your old self.
You'll feel like you finally made it.

I'm gonna throw in a link to my favorite post on depression.
It's worth the read, and the illustrations are pretty hilarious.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.ca/2013/05/depression-part-two.html

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23 / M / Australia
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Posted 10/5/14
Anxiety and depression... And it's getting worse and worse...
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F
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Posted 10/6/14
its all good in the hood up here.
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Posted 10/6/14
I got this

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attention_deficit_hyperactivity_disorder_predominantly_inattentive

I find it difficult to focus on anything that doesn't entertain me.
Like homework or studying. ;_;
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21 / M
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Posted 10/6/14
I've been diagnosed with moderate depression which has been a bummer :(.
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30 / M / Kent, England
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Posted 10/6/14 , edited 10/6/14
ADVANCE WARNING: This post is long. You can see that. It's basically the story of my last ten years with anxiety and depression.
Part of my reaction to my problems is to treat them flippantly. Some people sometimes find this upsetting. So, if you choose to read what follows, please know that it's my personal experience and I don't mean any of it to be offensive.
Also, I typed this on an iPad and it just kind of flowed out of me so, there are probably many grammatical and typographical errors!

Still here? OK, let's go!
...

I have diagnoses for anxiety and depression.

Anxiety kicked-in when I was 17/18 but, I didn't know that's what it was because I didn't feel anxious. I thought it was some kind of stomach illness I couldn't shake.
Doctors checked it out but, couldn't find anything physically wrong, so I got sent back to school. From there, it got progressively worse...

I started getting panic attacks (again, I didn't know that's what they were- I thought it was my childhood asthma coming back!)
So I just hid at home. It was a comfortable bubble where nothing could hurt me. I started researching my symptoms and eventually realised that it was more likely severe social anxiety rather than some kind of asthmatic-bowel-plague.

So, back to my GP, then to a counsellor, the GP again, Clinical Psychologist, and the GP again. At the end of all that, yes, it's social anxiety.

Then they sent me to a group for people with anxiety. I'll say that again, a GROUP! Treating social anxiety in a social situation, well, that worked-out as badly as you'd expect! So I ran away again, back to my bubble.

Only, my bubble didn't feel so comfortable anymore. In all my running away, I'd let my friendships crumble. I now had no one to talk to...
So, now the only place I felt safe was a prison of my own making.

After a lot of moping (I was sad, I'd earned the right to mope!), I eventually went back to my GP (terrified that I'd be sent to another group) and was referred to a Psychiatrist who put me on medication, and a Psychotherapist who talked all this shit through with me.
That was when depression was officially diagnosed.

Meds and therapy, I started feeling pretty ok. The available sessions ended and I carried on improving on my own. Then I stopped improving. I actually slid back. Further than I'd ever been before.

Through all of this I'd never felt suicidal. Then one day in June (yes, this post has spanned 10 years!), I started crying. I started crying, and kept crying for 5 hours... As a side note, I was watching Wolf Children when it started- it's a sad movie but, bloody hell, it's not THAT sad!
And about 90 minutes into this festival of tears, I realised, "I'm so scared and lonely, I just want to die".

For the first time I genuinely wished I could just stop living (if you can call this life, living). You wanna know what saved me? (I'm gonna tell you, even if you don't). It was the perfect mix of cowardice, practicality, and gun laws.

A person who wants to kill themselves has a few options at their disposal. I won't go into them, you know what they are. But, I'm a coward. A coward with too much sense of the practicalities of what might go wrong with many of these options. I decided that the only way I could kill myself and be reasonably sure of not messing it up was a bullet to the head.

I live in England. I have no access to guns. Hmm, guess death is off the table, then.

So, back to the GP, meds increased, referred for more therapy (they want to put me in another group, I think my 'no' was firm enough.)

Now I'm waiting for this therapy to start. I don't want to die. I'm still horribly lonely, but, it's tolerable-ish.

I wish I could give this post a happily-ever-after ending but, that's not happening. Let's say that there's some hope though...
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29 / F / England
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Posted 10/6/14 , edited 10/7/14
biiiiiiiiiiiiig hug


to everyone who needs one.

I hope everyone is having a good day

if you are having a bad day, a flare up hope you have the support you need and plenty of things to help you get through
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21 / F / Fort Worth, Texas
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Posted 10/7/14
I have sociopathic tendencies, according to anonymous Internet users.
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15 / F / Murica
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Posted 10/7/14 , edited 10/7/14
Not sure if this counts, but I tend to talk to myself when I'm alone. Like A LOT. But it's not like "Hey me. How are you? Oh I'm doing good. Did you watch the next episode of Angel Beats? No not yet... Sorry, me." It's more like "Haha! This episode is so funny! ........................ Why haven't I finished reading that book yet.... .................... I should really get new headphones. ........................" Like I'm basically just talking even though I know that there's no one there to respond. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 10/8/14
Never been diagnosed with anything.
Which is lucky because I don't want to be a more focused and manageable person.
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 10/8/14 , edited 10/8/14
I have a very few. Yet, don't feel comfortable sharing..
Most of the time, I pretend that I don't have these conditions towards other people. Don't see what purpose of me doing that. Maybe I was scared of how many people would react if I do reveal it. But I guess that's normal.
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