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"Just Be Yourself"
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18 / M
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Posted 10/13/14
It's the worst attempt at giving advice ever. It's useless, mean's nothing, and gets you nowhere. And if you have to think "be yourself" to be yourself, you're probably not actually being yourself in the way the terrible attempt at advice is supposed to mean.

And it's even worse when people say it when giving advice on how to get the girl or guy you like. Expecting someone to find you attractive by just being exactly how you are is not going to get you far, unless you're already attractive, in which it doesn't matter. But sometimes it's better to change some things about you to put yourself out there more. Of course you'll have the ones who're like "you don't like me for who I am" but that shouldn't be a problem. I like to make friends with people who I can relate to, so if I don't find you interesting, it would be in your best interest to change your ways to cater mine if you want to become my friend.

We shouldn't be so hung up in how we do things anyways. All those encounters you have everyday probably change you even though you don't even realize it. It would be silly to think that nobody has not even the slightest affect on yourself, because people affect us so much more than we think, I would assume.

I really hate that damn saying.

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26 / M / Alberta, Canada
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Posted 10/13/14
I think people have trouble with being themselves because they do not have a strong enough mind to survive the ridicule that comes with it. It can be very difficult when you know you will be outcast. I was glad to grow up as a bit of an outcast. I wasn't hated but i did not fit in with most people and then i stopped caring what people thought for the most part. I found a few people that i got along with and i still only have a few friends but to me that is perfect.
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24 / M / Laguna Niguel, Ca...
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Posted 10/13/14
Pretty much every guy out there has an effemeninate side to them, regardless they admit it or not. And that is them being themselves.
But society is not so accepting of that.
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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 10/13/14 , edited 10/13/14
I've found over the years that, "being yourself," is something you do to get along with "other" people in this world. It isn't about making friends or anything like that. The people that really count in your life are the ones that really take you for WHO YOU ARE, you don't have to be anyone. Like was mentioned earlier in this thread, if you have to actually think about "being yourself," you probably aren't going to be "yourself" anyway.

If you want to be popular and you have a hard time making friends, you are facing an uphill battle mush like Sisyphus.

Part of finding people that you can "be yourself" around is going out and finding them and sometimes that means you'll have to take some chances and be disappointed and get used to the fact that most people you meet are a bunch of flakes. If you aren't a good enough tool, you don't matter and they'll drop you like a rock. Good people are hard to find.

I like to think that more people are coming around to the idea that if you treat people well they will pull their collective heads out of their butts and have some compassion, look at the world through someone else's eyes.

The new "thing" in schools lately is bringing newborns and toddlers in so kids can learn compassion and empathy.
When I was growing up I was taught about that at home, 'till things get back to that, I'm not sure if anything is really getting better.
I see a bunch of the right-winger relatives posting stuff on Facebook about getting God back into our schools and I usually point out that you'd better bring Him back into your own home first. Teaching any kind of ethics and religion in school is kind of silly to me. If you know to put down the correct answers to get a good grade on the test it doesn't mean that you've actually learned to have any ethics, you've just learned what they are. If you put down the correct answers in comparative religion it doesn't mean you've gained any empathy or compassion for anyone, it just means you KNOW HOW TO TAKE THE TEST.

Just be yourself?
That takes a lot of courage and I find that only my good close friends know who I really am.

As a cliche? It is one of the sucky-er ones. If you are pretty and tall and people like you from the start, sure, be yourself. If you are average, have a mind and can create your own cognitive thoughts . . . be careful.
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27 / M / Seattle
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Posted 10/13/14
I'm not trying to impress anyone...I will be myself or anything else I want to be. When I need a public face I can put on a facade. I am who I am in my mannerisms and attitude regardless of what other people expect. People will eventually respect who you are.
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29 / M
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Posted 10/13/14
Isn't it difficult to be satisfied with just yourself though?
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24 / F
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Posted 10/13/14 , edited 10/13/14
But what if you're an objectively terrible person.?

I think better advice would be "Know yourself, then try and evolve into a better version".

A quote from someone i forgot : Society is full of all sorts of arbitrary rules, big and small, that you violate on a near day-to-day basis because you're not even aware of them. Learning those rules -- by observing and listening to people -- will go a lot further in making a good impression than just "being yourself." See, because once you know those rules, then you have more confidence when you walk into the room.

"What, you're saying I have to conform to every little rule society gives me and just say whatever people want to hear?" Nope, I said you needed to learn the rules -- whether or not you obey them, and when, is up to you. You need to learn what statement it makes when you, say, wear a backward baseball cap in certain company, or talk about your anime collection, or choose not to offer a handshake. Know what message your choices send.




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27 / M
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Posted 10/13/14 , edited 10/13/14
I think it'd be better to say "Just act naturally"

At the end of the day right and wrong are just projections of our own perception on the world around us. Hell, color is an illusion (we only see in 3 color frequencies for cripes' sake.)

As long as you can wake up and look at yourself in the mirror you're doing what you're "supposed" to be doing.
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21 / F
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Posted 10/13/14
Just ignore the assholes that ridicule you. They are useless!
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21 / M / Cali
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Posted 10/13/14
i know what you mean. when r told our whole lives to be different and to reach higher goals but if we challenge the norm then we r rejected
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25 / F / California
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Posted 10/13/14 , edited 10/13/14
"Be yourself" to me, may be a bit overused, but it does have a point behind it, and I think everyone takes away from it what they will based on their own life experiences. To me, "Be Yourself" is good advice as doing anything else will only result in making you unhappy. You're not wearing what you like, you're not doing what you like, you're not being what or who you want to be. We all have different interests and different things we enjoy, but outer influences may subconsciously teach us to follow crowds and trends instead of staying true to the things that really make us who we are.
Essentially, do what you think will make YOU happy. Be who makes YOU happy. It's your choices and no one else's.
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26 / M
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Posted 10/14/14
"yourself" is a constantly evolving thing. Your perception of "yourself" and your behaviors change overtime as you are exposed to new things, and peoples perception of you is relative to alot of their own personal opinions, and changes over time as well. For every person you meet in life there is a distinct, unique version of "yourself" that is held in their mind, and a distinct, unique version of yourself that you believe that they hold in their mind.

That being said, i think the phrase "be yourself" just means that by expressing what you feel should be expressed at any given time, you are more likely to sync up with those who hold similar values, like similar things, etc,. Not that you wont be rejected by alot of people, and maybe the percentage of people who reject you will fluctuate by the given culture that you are in, and by how much you meet or exceed/fail at the standards there in. I think the core message is that, if you are ever to really connect in a deeper fashion, displaying the things that you hold in high regard is better than attempting to display things that you believe others would rather see.
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36 / M / Denver
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Posted 10/14/14
It's kind of complex, which is probably one of the reasons people fumble over it.

First of all, most people aren't anyone they would feel actually proud of. Developing into such a person is not - and is the antithesis of - public education.

Secondly, some things aren't going to work out regardless of how you're behaving. So you might as well go down fighting the good fight.

Thirdly, some people are talented. By which I mean worked their asses off and got really good at something. Whenever this happens, whatever the subject happens to be, the number of peers starts to shrink. The better you are, the worse it is. Many people are moderate at something, which usually leads to them spraying their expertise everywhere (like internet forums) to try and get respect to douse their insecurity. In the scenario of actual skill, they may NOT want to be themselves, because it's usually intimidating, or at the very least, there is no feedback. During those times, nothing is earned by displaying prowess, so they hide it.

There is one more scenario that I can think of : busyness. If you're busy, it's really just a lot simpler if people don't know much about you. No explanations, no fuss, no judgment good OR bad, you can just keep on with what you're doing.

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29 / M
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Posted 10/14/14

Beardyman wrote:

I think it'd be better to say "Just act naturally"

At the end of the day right and wrong are just projections of our own perception on the world around us. Hell, color is an illusion (we only see in 3 color frequencies for cripes' sake.)

As long as you can wake up and look at yourself in the mirror you're doing what you're "supposed" to be doing.


This will make you a lonely man. And you will be fine with it, to an extent.
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29 / M
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Posted 10/14/14

bubblemilktae wrote:

"Be yourself" to me, may be a bit overused, but it does have a point behind it, and I think everyone takes away from it what they will based on their own life experiences. To me, "Be Yourself" is good advice as doing anything else will only result in making you unhappy. You're not wearing what you like, you're not doing what you like, you're not being what or who you want to be. We all have different interests and different things we enjoy, but outer influences may subconsciously teach us to follow crowds and trends instead of staying true to the things that really make us who we are.
Essentially, do what you think will make YOU happy. Be who makes YOU happy. It's your choices and no one else's.


This will make you coldhearted towards those that think otherwise, who are the only people who can truly wish you happiness. This will make you lonely as well.
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