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[FF] Deadman Wonderland : To Keep Sane
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Posted 10/21/14 , edited 11/15/14
Warning: this story contains content that is not suitable for minors.

To keep sane chapter 1

The vibe that those words gave off wasn't a good one. The fact that I yelled that loud in a situation where that kind of outburst was unnecessary, told me I had to be prepared to die if I wanted to make it through just one semester in this school , much less graduation. i was positive that they would stop dead in their tracks and stare at me but the girls just kept walking. As for the blonde standing next to me, she was frozen in her thoughts. That’s when I mustered up all the courage I could and tried to find somewhere I could be alone for a few minutes. ‘’katsuki where are you going’’? Blonde called my name over and over while I was running. ‘’I have to make a call I’ll be right back I said. I found a spot behind the school building and plopped down from exhaustion.

The grass I was sitting on felt good as weird as that may have sounded. I wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep but I couldn't do that just yet. Before I could go to class, before I could rest, hell before I could even go home i had to find out just what the hell was going on here. I took out my cell and frantically dialed home. It took a few rings for mom to pick up but as soon as she did I couldn't slow my words down. Hello!’’ mom? ‘’Yes dear how are you? How is your first day at school going? I couldn't believe mom actually asked me that question. I was about to scream my head off at her but I somehow calmed myself down a bit.
‘’it’s going ok except for one tiny problem’’. ‘’ oh and what would that be dear? I was nervous as hell , I was about to probably sound like an idiot for pointing out the obvious but if I wanted to get to the bottom of this I had no choice. ‘’this is an all-girls school. ‘’not anymore since your there now, isn't it exiting?! She was right in a sense, if I didn't have this uneasy feeling in my gut I would have just left this mystery alone and enjoyed myself. At the time something just felt off. This was it, it was now or never.
‘’mom can I ask why you wanted me to go here? There was silence for a few seconds and then she said ‘’I sent you there because I thought you might enjoy yourself, I was right wasn't i?. ‘’well see that’s the thing I’m not sure anymore i- before I could finish the phone cut off. I tried calling her back but the line was busy. I tried a few more times but I got the busy signal every time. Since mom didn't pick up the only option was to go ask blonde about all this. I went back to the school front entrance and that’s when it happened. I expected to find blonde still standing there daydreaming. I was right except this one had longer hair, was taller and looked like she was in her mid-20’s. I’m almost positive the girl I came here with was at least 17 or 18. But this one just looked way too different especially the size (I know I’m going to sound like a pervert every time I say this) of those boobs. Those things were huge. I had to forget about her rack and ask her where my companion was. This was going to be hard because I didn't know my partner’s name. I had to hope that knowing how she looked would be enough. ‘’Um excuse me miss I’m looking for a girl with blonde hair much shorter than yours , she has blue eyes and very long eyelashes although I’m not exactly sure what kind of uniform she was wearing if that was one’’. It was only after I finished talking that the woman made eye contact with me. After I got a good look at her face that’s when I realized it: the woman standing in front of the building..no it can’t be that’s impossible! The aura this woman gave off was incredible; I was shaking as if I had just gotten a bucket of ice water dumped on me. ‘’oh there you are katsuki! You sure took a long time’’. I didn't believe it I refused to believe it. There was absolutely no way that this woman was the girl that I came here with. I said that to myself but was that really the case? I thought about it and come to think of it when blonde opened the front door and I went nuts after seeing the sea of teenage girls that walked the halls of this school, she just stood there like this woman is doing now. I thought I was confused before but now it was getting ridiculous. What did she transform into a woman or something? That’s not possible either! But she was just standing there the whole time right or was she? Did she go somewhere and come back? These and many other questions that I shouldn't have been asking in my head came to mind because of the things I saw.
‘’I’m sorry but do I know you?’’ I asked that question even though I was scared to find out the answer. The woman came up to me, chucked and said ‘’katsuki what are you talking about its me dummy! , I came here with you remember? I was speechless. This girl can transform into a young woman?! I closed my eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath. ‘’um ok look we’ve been together since this morning and you still haven’t told me your name so when are you gonna tell me what it is? She stared at me pretending to not understand the question. Seconds later she turned that stare into a smile and said ‘’ the names minatsuki , minatsuki takimi , call me mina for short if you like’’
‘’ok mina why haven’t we gone inside yet don’t we have class? She burst out laughing after I said that, I thought she was going to wet herself by laughing so hard. ‘’sorry about that, I could have sworn you just asked me if we had class’’. ‘’that’s because I did’’ She tried to hold it in but mina started laughing even harder than she did before! I failed to see what was so danm funny. All I asked is why we haven’t gone inside the school yet and she started laughing as if I was doing terrible stand-up comedy or something.
‘’katsuki…you know there’s no school today right? I stood there with a terrified and shocked look on my face. ‘’what do you mean there’s no school today?! Of course there is! That’s why we came here!. I thought mina was going to burst out laughing again , but this time she let out a sigh’ which I felt she was mocking me with. ‘’no katsuki we came here so I could give you a tour of the school and so I can introduce you to your professor and your other girls’’.
My professor and..other girls?
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Other girls!? My thoughts were officially in a tale spin. What does she mean other girls!? She means other girls as in classmates’ right? Right?! ‘’ katsuki c’mon! Quit daydreaming and let’s go. ‘’oh right sorry yeah lets go. I followed mina into what I expected to a very ominous school building, but to my surprise it was just a normal college like hallway with a bunch of classes and rooms that I’ve obviously never been in before. I had a pretty good idea of what a college building looked like thanks to those catalog’s , I just wish I could have taken a tour of some of them. What was very interesting here though is that I saw a whole slew of elevators as we were walking around. It felt like this was the main building and you would come in here, choose which elevator you wanted to use to get to another floor or building and go from there. I would be correct as mina later pointed out the labels on the elevators which I kind of felt dumb for missing. ‘’ mina ive been meaning to ask you are you a freshman?
‘’no I’m a sophomore why? ‘’no I kind of figured you were at least a sophomore or junior since your giving me a tour that’s all. ‘’duh I wouldn’t be able to give you a tour if I was a freshman. ‘’yeah your right, sorry for asking such a stupid question (chuckles). ‘’its cool don’t worry about it, of course there’s still some things I need to learn myself so don’t feel bad. ‘’ I’m just glad I know enough to be able to show you the basics. ‘’yeah so am i. apparently the class we were going to was in mina’s words ‘’ a class that I should be looking forward to’’ that scared me a little , but I tried not to let it bother me. after a long tour of the building , we finally entered a classroom. The sign on the door said ‘’welcome to E13 learning self-control’’. There was an erie silence when mina and I entered the room. it took what felt like forever for the silence to break. Oh’’ hello there a very fit and muscle defined woman with white hair said. ‘’ you’re the male student ‘’katsuki ameno? I bowed my head in appreciation ‘’yes mam, hi it’s nice to meet you all. I lifted my head up and looked at all the girls in the classroom. I didn’t notice it before because I was tightening up from nervousness , but all of them had their eyes locked on me. ‘’alright katsuki before you take a seat why don’t you introduce yourself? ‘’sure thing I said still nervous. I went up to the center of the classroom and explained a bit about myself. I told them that my interest were manga , video games and writing just to name a few. I also told them I didn’t really have any special talent , but that if there was anything I could help them with don’t hesitate to ask. After I finished I bowed my head in appreciation once more, which led to the class clapping in unison. ‘’very well done dear , now please sit in any front chair you like. I did as the professor asked, and what I was going to do anyway and sat in one of the chairs at the front of the classroom. ‘’ok girls come on up here! Upon ordered, every single one of the beautiful and buxom young ladies gathered in line and faced towards me. there were at least 30 girls in this class , I felt left out and unsure whether i should have been happy about the fact that I was the only male in this class. ‘’ now katsuki I want you to choose 9 students to be your servants’’. ‘’You already have mina with you so she will make 10. Is this what mina meant by ‘’other girls? i wanted to jump out of my seat for joy just knowing the fact that I would have 10 hot girls doing whatever I say for a whole semester , but just like I've been feeling ever since I met mina this morning a feeling in my gut was telling me there was more to this than meets the eye.
I didn't like this feeling..didn't like it at all.

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Posted 10/23/14 , edited 10/23/14

I can't say I had an easy time reading this as I'm used to a different format of writing. I think it was possibly a lack of line breaks in the right place.

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Posted 10/23/14 , edited 10/23/14

yeah sorry about that don't worry it will get easier to read soon.
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Posted 10/23/14

Yeah I do agree with Kaiser that it's pretty hard to read when there's no distinction between paragraphs, dialogues and monologues. I would suggest to work on the framework.

Otherwise, the story if fast-going, pretty much brings me into the timeline of your story without making me lost *laughs* and detailing was good. Well described I would say.
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Posted 10/24/14 , edited 10/24/14

lol yeah i see what you mean , the thing is i wrote some other chapters before changing the format. i'll see what i can do.
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Posted 10/24/14

no worries bout the format. I think you just need to "space" them and try to clear them into how it should be look like. You can refer to "Devil and Princess" - there was first 6/8 posts that are postes by me because we copied everything from another place. So initially it was really messy but we space and separate them into paragraph ^^
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Posted 10/24/14 , edited 10/24/14

will do.
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Deadman wonderland: to keep sane chapter 2.5

This was too good to be true. I got to choose 9 beautiful and dare I say it curvaceous ladies around my age and they are supposed to be my servants? (Something is not right here and I’m going to find out what it is in due time, but for now I’ll play along). I chose 9 of them at random and watched them form their own line apart from the others.

‘’good job katsuki! You sure know how to pick em the professor said cheerfully. The girls that I chose
(including mina) bowed their heads and said in unison ‘’hello master katsuki! It will be our pleasure to serve you. I didn’t know how to respond at first , what was a guy in my situation supposed to say.

‘’um ..hi is all I could say at the moment. Then out of nowhere the ten girls I selected (except for mina) surrounded me and started bombarding me with questions ‘’would you like a cup of hot tea or coffee master? ‘’are you hot master, would me to open a window? , would you like me to escort you anywhere master? All this master stuff was driving me crazy

. I was about to yell ‘’stop it you guys’’ and then as if she already knew what I was thinking: ‘’girls c’mon that’s enough now! , you’ll have plenty of time to spend with him later, for now I need to explain some things to him. Just like that they all backed off. (Wait to go teach that’s the way to show em..wait what am I saying?! )‘’ mina! Get over here! Professor ordered. It looked like she was embarrassed to do so, but she came over to the group anyway. ‘’now katsuki before i leave you alone with these girls there are a few things you need to know. ‘’Actually there are a lot of things you need to know but I have somewhere to be , so I don’t have time to explain it all to you.

‘’As you have probably figured out by now , this is a E13 learning self-control , meaning this is a class to help young adult men such as yourself learn how to control themselves when it comes to as you boys like to say ‘’hot girls. ‘’my name is shiro and you may address me as such, you don’t have to call me professor shiro or MS shiro or anything like that’’. ‘’so katsuki I hear your quite the ‘’rambunctious one when it comes to the ladies. (H-how does she know that!!?) ‘’Judging by that look on your face , I’m going to assume I’m right. ‘’well katsuki fear no more because by the end of this semester you will be a new man’’. The look on the girls face said ‘’oh brother’’. ‘’now katsuki here’s how this will work shiro said while she pulled out a galaxy s3. ‘’ this is just your modern day galaxy s3 , the only difference is there are only three apps on it and others won’t be added for your benefit’’, Here’’ she said tossing the phone to me. ‘’you’ll see the apps named normal orders, age orders and the most important of all sexual orders. It was just as she said, i looked at the home screen and there they were: normal, orders , age and sexual orders.


‘’now if you open them , you’ll see that each app has a history section so it can keep track of the age , normal and sexual orders that you make’’. I opened each app and again just like she said, there was a section named order history for each one. ‘’normal orders and age orders won’t get you in trouble , the apps for those orders are there just to keep your history in case you want to look it over for some reason’’. But katsuki’’. The look on shiro’s face went from joyful to evil like as she said my name. ‘’I think its time I told you about sexual orders. Right at that moment every single bone in my body started shaking..and I mean every SINGLE one.
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Posted 10/28/14

To be honest, I don't really know much about Deadman Wonderland's story plot......but now it's in my TO WATCH list cz of my partner's sudden theme change o.O but uh..... if I'm not wrong, it should be more action packed.

Your idea is good, but I would suggest to reduce the amount of ecchi-ness or even the kinkiness? Too much sexuality may sometimes ruin the story, unless........

Your story's genre is hentai from the beginning? O.o

Try to add in more elements to your story.

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Posted 10/28/14 , edited 10/28/14

your right it should be , but I've got a suprise for ya wait and see.
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Posted 10/28/14 , edited 10/28/14

yeah it is Hentai
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to keep sane chapter 3

I never knew a college professor could or was allowed to make such an evil face at one of her students. Then again this wasn't your average college and this wasn't your average college professor.

‘’now as I said before this is a class designed to teach male students how to control their urges, especially you teenage boys’’ shiro said with a somewhat calmer look now. She turned to the girls and asked them to take out their galaxy’s and they did just that.

‘’as you can see katsuki , the grls have galaxy s3’s of their own. ‘’just like you they have a viewing history of all the orders you make in all categories. ‘’but when it comes to sexual orders that’s where they have the most control, do you know what that means katsuki? Shiro asked with a very strict tone. ‘’ I think I said nervously. ‘’it means they have the right to refuse that order. ‘’not only that but they have a ‘’harassment button within the app which will decide your fate on most occasions.

‘’meaning if you become too aggressive with your sexual orders just because you happened to be rejected , the phone will take note of it and someone in charge here will be notified. ‘OK that will do for now , is there anything you need or want to ask before I go? ‘’um yeah can I try out an example of a sexual order so I can see how this works? The girls faces turned red and shiro just sighed and said ‘’OK fine go ahead. ‘’um alright mina? ‘’y-yes katsuki? , she jumped while asking. ‘’strip I said while stuttering. Mina’s face was ridiculously red by this point, even more so than the other girls. Nonetheless she obeyed me and took her shirt off. She was about to unhook her bra, but I told her to stop and that she didn’t need to go that far.


‘. ’well now that you have seen an example katsuki i think that clears up everything for today’’ I have to go now anyway so use the rest of the day to get to know the girls’’. At that moment I remembered something , I remembered the question that’s been on my mind ever since I first laid eyes on this girl infested school , which I couldn't believe I had forgotten. ‘’shiro wait! I said hoping she’d heard me.
‘’what is it katsuki make it quick’’. I gave myself a quick nod of approval before asking it.

‘’were there any male students here before me? It was like I was asking her to kill a family member it became so quiet. Shiro said nothing and just walked out.

I’m going to take that as a yes. Then the moment ive always dreamed, but thought it would never actually happen became a reality: I was alone with 10 absolutely gorgeous teenage girls. ‘’um..ok how about you girls introduce yourself , except for you mina we’ve already met”. ‘’right she said turning her still red from earlier face away from me. the first one to step up was a dark skin girl with white hair , green eyes and a strong build much like shiro. Of course not to mention her great figure. ‘’how ya doing? She said. ‘’the names karako koshio , the pleasure is all mine master’’, next to introduce herself was a girl with long , black hair and golden honey eyes. From the looks of her she seemed to have a well-rounded personality.

‘’hello master my name is mimi’’ ‘’if there’s anything you need just ask ok’’ 3rdly was a girl with long dark brown hair and dark blue eyes and most notably she was sporting glossy pink lipstick. ‘’master katsuki the name is makina so don’t you dare forget it’’. ‘’r-right I won’t’’ I said terrified. Next up was a tall and slender statured girl with faded gray colored hair. She was wearing a mask so I couldn't tell what her eye color was, but what stood out most about her was her pale skin. ‘’hey there master katsuki , I’ll do anything you want except take off this mask’’.

I was curious as to why she had that mask on but I was afraid to ask ‘’ok I won’t bother you about it then’’ ‘; my name is ohara pleasure to be of service to you. Next there were two of them.

They both had pink hair that was tied up very neatly. They had hazel nut eyes and were both wearing the same red color ribbons in their hair. ‘’how ya doing hun my name’s Judith osami , mine’s janet osami and we’re the osami twins ‘’we’re all yours’’ they said in unison.

7th was a girl that much resembled makina with the dark brown hair , only this time it was shorter.

At least that’s the way it appeared under her hat. ‘’hi master my name is kasuga kyoko , please order me to do whatever you wish’’. ‘’wow so bold’’ one of the twins said.

I was so taken aback by her obedience that I could say nothing. 8th was a girl with faded purple color hair , afro Japanese skin , pink colored eyes. She wasn't wearing anything special , just a school uniform like most of the girls. ‘’hey there hot stuff , my name’s Ami itagaki (In a seductive voice) ‘’pleasures all mine big boy’’ after introducing herself she blew me a kiss. ‘’Ami stop it! , you know you can’t keep him all to yourself’’ mina while reverting back to her original form said. ‘’I know but he’s just so adorable’’ Ami said while lustfully shaking her body. The last girl was a bit different. This had multicolored hair , huge arms and orange eyes. She was curvaceous yes , but this one scared me more than makina did. ‘’whats up master katsuki? The name is kurea komiyama , if anyone bugs you let me know I’ll beat the crap out of them’’ I didn't know whether to feel safe or not after she said that , so I just said ‘’will do’’, After the girls introduced themselves I told them to talk to each other for a while because I needed some time to think. They obeyed and started chatting amongst each other.
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chapter 4.
This whole situation was going to drive me off the wall, off the fucking wall. What stood before me were 10 girls my age all talking to each other because I told them to. this is supposed to be a self-control class right? So tell me how is a man supposed to control himself with 10 hot girls hand their ridiculously large and soft looking breast jiggling all over the place!?

My nose was dripping blood like crazy. I had gotten nosebleeds before but it was never this bad. Luckily, the girls were so into talking with each that they didn't see me holding my nose because of the blood. I quickly took out a tissue I had in my pocket and wiped the blood off my nose

. I kept asking myself questions like what was going on at this school? Why was I of all people chosen to come here? , why was this a girl only school before, why did I get to be so lucky that I would end up in a room full of gorgeous girls , with the power to order them around?! It was time to stop wondering and get to work.

‘’girls! I said loud enough so they could hear me. They all stopped talking and gave their full attention to me like slaves. As uncomfortable as it made me feel to boss a bunch of girls around I had to start to observe some things. Yes I've dreamed of having a room full of hot girls do what I wanted , but now that I actually had that power I was afraid of what I would become.

I managed to get words to come out of my mouth somehow. ‘’ok makina go get me something to eat I’m starving’’. ‘’yes sir ‘’ ‘’oh that’s right you didn't get a chance to eat anything because of me , sorry about that’’ mina said.

‘’oh that’s alright don’t worry about it’’ I said trying to cheer her up. ‘’what would you like sir? Makina asked. ‘’what do they usually serve here? ‘’everything sir, just tell me what you want and ‘ll get it for you’’. ‘’ok in that case bring me a cheeseburger ,with some fries and macaroni salad on the side’’ oh and also add carrots and corn on the cob to that please’’. ‘’yes sir’’. Just like that she disappeared and reappeared with the food. ‘’here you are master’’. ‘’thank you makina’’. Smile crossed her face as makina watched me eat my food with the rest of the girls.

alright now I just have one order to test out. i waited until I swallowed and then said ‘’judith , janet’’. (together) ‘’yes sir’’ ‘’do me a favor and transform’’. (together) ‘’yes sir what age would you like sir? We are currently at 16’’. ‘’ uh 25 will do’’. (together) ‘’ you got it hun’’! Judith and held hands and began to transform.

During the transformation , their bodies began to mold into an adult form. Their pink hair grew longer , their nail color changed from black to red . their arms , and legs grew longer , and their breast stood out even more. By the time the transformation was over the twins looked completely different but exactly the same. They had grown into complete adults right before my very eyes.

‘’wow’’ I said in pure shock. Janet let out a seductive chuckle and then said ‘’well master do you like what you see? ‘’I bet he does’’

followed Judith. My heart was pounding like crazy and the amount of sweat that was pouring down my face was ridiculous. ‘’yeah I like what I see that was impressive’’. I finished up my food and threw out the tray. ‘’alright girls I think I’m gonna head home for now ‘’I’m beat. ‘’OK master get home safely’’ the girls said in unison. I said bye to the girls and went home alone. I opened the front door to find mom watching tv. ‘’wecome home dear how was your day, ‘’I looked at her with as evil a face as I could make and said ‘’mom tomorrow we need to talk. ‘’ok dear that’s fine you look exhausted right now anyway. ‘’i went straight up to my room , plopped down on my bed and closed my eyes hoping I could sleep peacefully and not think about the situation I was in until tomorrow.
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Posted 11/1/14 , edited 11/1/14

Just for future reference, if what you're writing is rated H you probably wanna put a disclaimer and warning at the top or on the topic itself saying this story contains explicit material that's not suited for minors. Because keep in mind there are younger people in this group and it could cause some problems.
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