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Virginity
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21 / M / The Heroes Associ...
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Posted 11/4/14 , edited 11/18/14
Its not a stigma for anyone to a be virgin. Being a virgin is a personal choice. I lost my virginity when i was 16, and no one had enhanced or lessened opinions of me.

Men tend to be more promiscuous by nature due to the testosterone often causing a higher libido. Meaning they crave sex more so than the average woman.

Most teenage boys are fucking stupid and tend to think its cool to have sex, and think if they have sex it makes them cooler than everyone else, which it doesn't. it just means you have had sex.

I think remaining a virgin till marriage, personally, quite boring. I think sex is a completely natural part of life, and its an aspect to be enjoyed, whilst also not abused. I am not one for casual hook ups, but if i am dating a girl and i really like her, i most likely will want to share more of myself with her.

I personally couldn't get married to someone with out knowing them completely, (sexually and emotionally). It would suck to marry someone who doesn't satisfy you in bed right? or marry someone you cant satisfy. It would be a real bummer.

There is nothing wrong with any of your life choices as long as they dont hurt anyone surrounding you. Your sex life only affects you; therefor should be left to your discretion.

Dont let anyone tell you any different, Its your life, you choose how you live it.
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27 / M / Mor Dhona
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Posted 11/4/14 , edited 11/4/14

Phersu wrote:

Why is it a stigma for men to be virgins? Why is it a stigma for women to not be? What do you think? Is it bad to be a virgin in your twenties or older, or to stay one willingly 'til marriage? How about those who just can't get rid of it? Are they pitiful?

Personally, I don't really care about it either way. It doesn't matter in my opinion whether you are one or not, so long as you're STD-free.


Complicated questions all around! Not to be mechanically cold, but...

Male virgins are stigmatized because, prior to modern society, only "alpha" males survived to breed. Modern society lets inferior specimens survive through medicine and other technological wonders, but prior to this they either died or were a second (or third, or fourth, etc.) choice for a mate if not ignored altogether. Stigmatizing less... sexually active men is simply a modern reflection of this behavior. Men who are not sexually active are perceived as being less dominant and thus of inferior quality; they are not having sex because they have not found a mate willing to accept their inferiority or have consciously chosen to withhold their genetic material (whatever its quality). The former is the go-to subconscious explanation, as people are supposed to want to prove their superiority and thus pass on their genetic material, and willfully betraying this biological imperative is unnatural and thus incomprehensible to many people.

Conversely, women who are, for lack of a better term, "loose" are stigmatized because that "looseness" is subconsciously perceived as irresponsibility in regards to the future of the human race. Women with a large number of sexual partners are more likely to have children with inferior males, which weakens the human species as a whole (as those inferior specimens will likely have children of their own, possibly passing down whatever traits made their fathers less dominant). This is why it is men who must court women; they seek to prove they are superior mates whose children will be strong and survive. Women are "supposed to be" choosy with their mates because they cannot mate again for 9ish months if (when) they get pregnant, potentially denying them the opportunity to have the children of an alpha male if they went with an inferior specimen.

A strange irony then comes about in women who are past their twenties and have not yet found mates (see: Christmas Cake); they are considered as pathetic as male virgins for largely the same reasons (either they cannot find a mate willing to accept their inferiority or are willfully betraying a biological imperative).

This social structure is fairly apparent in nature; many male animals engage in contests to determine who is superior (and thus has the right to mate), or have to attract females through other shows of superiority (peacocks). In more social animals there is often a clear "alpha" male, such as in packs of wolves and prides of lions.

Of course, people are more complicated than such base instincts. Still, this is likely why society's stigma in regards to sexuality exist.

EDIT: TL;DR version: male virgins are stigmatized because they are perceived as sucking too much to attract a woman who will have sex with them. "Loose" women are stigmatized because they are perceived as not considering the ramifications of, or biological investment in, having the children of those sucky men.

Anyway, my personal opinion on virginity? Whatever. I'm largely asexual, so it makes little difference to me.
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Posted 11/4/14
if you make it to 16 and still a virgin then well done, these days kids be losing it at 14.. such a madness

tbh there is a pressure for boys to have had sex in secondary school, but somehow women who lose it that time are skets,

if there were no "skets" how the fu*k would boys be able to lose it then.

i lost mine at a respectable 17 just before college.
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21 / F
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Posted 11/4/14
For me there are times I think I want to lose my virginity, but then I totally freak out and think, "I don't want it to be that easy, so fast." In all honesty I just haven't found someone I feel comfortable being that vulnerable with. Once I do though it'll be epic...or so I imagine
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21 / M
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Posted 11/4/14 , edited 11/18/14

srosevale19 wrote:

For me there are times I think I want to lose my virginity, but then I totally freak out and think, "I don't want it to be that easy, so fast." In all honesty I just haven't found someone I feel comfortable being that vulnerable with. Once I do though it'll be epic...or so I imagine


-imagines epic sword art online music playing during the deed, geysers, and waves crashing down
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24 / Decemberunderground
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Posted 11/4/14 , edited 11/4/14

Randompyrate wrote:

It's not bad and it's not good. It's just a thing you either have or don't have.
Male virgins are stigmatized because they're seen as somehow less manly than others. Female virgins are stigmatized because they're seen as... defiled or unpure, I guess? I honestly couldn't say for sure- the logic of people who hold these views is just beyond my ability to fathom.

But yeah- disease free is what matters.


It comes to to being hypocritical like how a guy is a player when a girl is a slut.
I don't see it that way however oddly enough every girl I have ever been intimate with was a virgin except one but I have never been with a boy who was one.




This comes down to age I have cheated on every girl I have ever been with since I was 17 (I'm in my twenties now) and women seem to usually cheat on their husbands with someone younger/more attractive as they get older most likely due to the increase of libido that happens at diffrent ages.

However my reasons were never because of my libido or all I thought about was sex. I remember reading about a guy who wouldn't even kiss his wife until they were married, that's just insane.

What I don't like is how guys brag about it in highschool because I would hate for a girl I know to be labeled poorly for having sex which I have seen happaen more than once because the guy was a asshole that went around bragging to everyone.
Though I also think no one should have sex in highschool because girls are more than likely going to regret it and guys are going to be way too immature about it
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 11/4/14
Sort of reminds me of a thread that I made.
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23 / M / Kaguya's Panties
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Posted 11/4/14 , edited 11/5/14
I'm 21, a virgin and I'll die before I lose it. The concept of sex and the look of private parts truly disgusts me..

Some will criticize me for my choice, but I have no interest in fools like them.
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24 / M / Pretoria, South A...
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Posted 11/4/14
I am 22 as my account says.. Yeah unfortunately I am not a virgin.. I say unfortunate, because now I am over that phase of everything being about sex and now I feel that I should have waited, because the person I shared my virginity with is not in my life anymore, that makes me feel filthy and disgusted in myself at time, so yeah it's great when you think of it and not considering much about how you'll feel about it in the future. I have friends that just see sex as well sex and nothing more and I feel that the is a hell of a lot more to it and if I could go back in time I'd rather wait and wait... well for someone better I guess..
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20 / M / Sweden
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Posted 11/4/14

awune wrote:

i rly don't care. people are always like "i kind of respect you for being a virgin, awune" that's such an awful rude thing to say holy shit. if i was having safe consensual sex with 1 or more people i better get the same amount of respect lol. the whole kind of concept of virginity pisses me off as a whole anyway, i'm not "saving" it for anyone. i don't think my virginity is important at all. i'll have sex when i want to and it shouldn't matter to anyone other than me and whoever it's with.


^This!
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24 / F
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Posted 11/5/14 , edited 11/5/14
Losing my virginity is the last thing on my mind.
I have more important goals I would like to obtain.
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23 / M / Beyond The Wall
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Posted 11/5/14
With this new generation, Im extremely impressed if they still have their virginity by age 15...and thats a damn shame
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F / West
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Posted 11/5/14
If you are not ready to handle the physical and emotional aspects of losing your virginity then don't do it. Wait until you are. Don't ever be pressured into something that doesn't feel right to you.
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21 / F
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Posted 11/5/14 , edited 11/18/14
virginity isnt something to worry about it happens when it happens. people think too much of sex, how about taxes? or what about getting a degree, or saving a life, helping a hobo? there is a alot of things out in the world that should be on the top of the list of importance. Can someone please invent a flying machine already so i could fly whenever i want.
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23 / M
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Posted 11/5/14 , edited 11/18/14
I just read something about this from a women's prospective, how she waited for marriage. Have a look.
http://thoughtcatalog.com/samantha-pugsley/2014/08/i-waited-until-my-wedding-night-to-lose-my-virginity-and-i-wish-i-hadnt/

If you didn't go to the link, here is the ending.

"Unfortunately, I can’t go back but I can give you this message as a culmination of my experiences: If you want to wait to have sex until marriage make sure it’s because you want to. It’s your body; it belongs to you, not your church. Your sexuality is nobody’s business but yours."
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