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Post Reply How to handle a friend you suspect to be gay?
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29 / Albuquerque,NM
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Posted 11/25/14
Are you sure he is not just clingy but actually gay?
Posted 11/25/14 , edited 11/26/14

jerbearxi wrote:

Don't be scared. Just grab his
and see what happens.


Yaoi storyline found. Someone get started on a fic with OP and his new lover.
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22 / M / Norway
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Posted 11/25/14

santesyu wrote:

Are you sure he is not just clingy but actually gay?


No? i never said i was sure
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31 / M / Minnesota, USA
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Posted 11/25/14
Become a hermit and avoid people like I do ;-)
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M / Houston, Tx
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Posted 11/25/14

Ryuouka wrote:

(It might be my delusion, but i think i have like a special ability in attracting people of the same gender, as this isn't the first time)


Quite cocky aren't you? I can't even attract an animal in this time of year.

Well, it's a bit easier said than done but just try to pretend he's not gay, let him slip.
Don't bother whether he's gay or not, just imagine he's a straight normal guy, some people just need a normal life.
Be his friend even after he admits it, don't make him think coming out was a big mistake, those kinds of things really
messes people up.
Posted 11/25/14
lol, tell him that you dislike being touched -shivers- .. you don't know where his hands have been. if you're sensitive and it gives you anxiety, that's probably a huge weakness and might encourage that sort of behavior. it doesn't sound like you are friends so tell him straight up to piss off with it whether he's gay or straight lol. that will put a full stop to it because he might have his own delusions about your sexuality even if you tell him that you like girls.
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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 11/26/14
If he's your friend, treat him like one.

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25 / F
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Posted 11/26/14 , edited 11/26/14
This is clearly a complicated issue that requires careful consideration...


I suggest studying yaoi!


In all seriousness, I'd have to agree with the simple answer of just asking for some space.
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M / seattle
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Posted 11/26/14
Just go on a date with him alright, take him out for coffee have dinner get to know him. There's nothing wrong with having a gay friend. It's the people who only focus about that one thing about gay that clouds their views of him as a person... dont be that person
Posted 11/26/14
Don't grab his balls. He'd get the wrong idea whether or not he is gay.
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22 / M / Norway
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Posted 11/26/14

Biggle wrote:


Ryuouka wrote:

(It might be my delusion, but i think i have like a special ability in attracting people of the same gender, as this isn't the first time)


Quite cocky aren't you? I can't even attract an animal in this time of year.

Well, it's a bit easier said than done but just try to pretend he's not gay, let him slip.
Don't bother whether he's gay or not, just imagine he's a straight normal guy, some people just need a normal life.
Be his friend even after he admits it, don't make him think coming out was a big mistake, those kinds of things really
messes people up.


Well, the downside is that my attaction ability seems to limit itself to males only... -.-
Yeah i'm going to treat him normally as my friend untill it becomes certain or he confesses, and then i go from there.
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M / Houston, Tx
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Posted 11/26/14

Ryuouka wrote:


Well, the downside is that my attaction ability seems to limit itself to males only... -.-
Yeah i'm going to treat him normally as my friend untill it becomes certain or he confesses, and then i go from there.


Good man, I hope all works well for you.
Posted 11/26/14 , edited 11/26/14

AzazelOfNexium wrote:

Well, I wouldn't worry to much about it. I find alot of strictly hetero guys get paranoid about guys who they suspect to be gay.

Its not like him being friendly with you will magically turn you gay.

If you feel uncomfortable with him, just tell him know you don't talk about that stuff.

Be up front with people.

There is no problem with being friends with people who have a different sexuality than you, so you just let him know up front that you only like girls. If you tell him that, its not like hes going to try to "make you gay".

If he "flirts" with you, just take it as a compliment lol.

"Just be proud your so attractive you make people of the same gender appreciate your looks." - A friend of mine


I wholly agree with this!!!

When I read the title "How to handle a friend you suspect to be gay?" I was like " you treat them the same way you treat everybody else!"

But your situation is different.... you don't like clingy friends...especially if they're male. The best thing you can do is speak with him.

Just ask him "are you gay?" and tell him that his attitude towards you makes you uncomfortable and you need space. Since you both are not that close, losing his friendship wouldn't matter...right? in case he gets mad or something.

I have had similar things happen to me but the difference is that I liked them as friends and I didn't mind if they were clingy because I enjoyed being with them...one of them even asked once if we could have sex...she was bi-curious and I just told her that I wasn't curious...lol the other one was my best friend at that time and she only asked me if I wouldn't mind kissing a girl....I told her "ewwwww no!" (I was 15 and very immature at that time).

Just talk to him and tell him everything you think, if he wants to keep the friendship (if there's any) he will respect your feelings and give you space.





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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 11/26/14 , edited 11/26/14
Tell him you're not gay and you need some space. If he's friend, then he has to understand.
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18 / F / Hell
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Posted 11/26/14
Just treat them the same as usual.
Or just ask them strait up if they are gay.

If they like you and you like them go for it
and if thats not how you roll tell them you're
not interested.
Posted 11/26/14

jerbearxi wrote:

Don't be scared. Just grab his
and see what happens.


I love the intense pause my brain made before I opened that spoiler LOOOL
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