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Post Reply 俳句 Haiku Corner
芭蕉の化身
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Posted 2/9/15 , edited 2/9/15
ファイト!

大変だ! 此れはモータルコンバット!


たいへんだ!
これはモータル
コンバット!

This is terrible!
We have a Mortal Kombat
On our hands right now!

Something I've noticed through haiku is English can be much more efficient with syllables. It can take a while to communicate something in Japanese, especially (I've heard) with 敬語.
先輩(Moderator)
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Posted 2/10/15
Since everyone is in a fighting spirit:


乱闘前 の 嘲罵
フン 矢っ張
やる気 が 出る が
無駄な 事

らんとうぜん の ちょうば
ふん やっぱ
やるき が でる が
むだな こと

Taunt before a fight
Hm~ Just as I thought
You seem quite eager but still
It's a futile thing.


Also, Cloudさん, I think you're right about Japanese being somewhat more 'lengthy' than English. But you're comparing a langauge where no consonant can stand on its own (except ん, obviously, but it's sometimes considered only a half-consonant) or in groups with one that can create 4-consonant clusters without much effort (words like instincts or sixths in 1/6, for instance). And yes, keigo is evil incarnate. But the main problem is not the length of words but rather the vocabulary which you have to adjust as you're dealing with people more important than you. I had a few classes about keigo and don't regret it's over
先生
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Posted 2/10/15
Oh...Haiku Mortal Combat totally sounds like it would be fun!
Cloud-san your haiku made me laugh since we're talking about Haiku Mortal combat!
I'm loving this week's haiku! Keep them coming people~
芭蕉の化身
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Posted 2/10/15


あれ?喧嘩?ちょ!ちょっと待って!い!嫌だよ!


あれ?けんか?
ちょ!ちょっとまって!
い!いやだよ!

Huh? A fight, is it?
Wa-Wait! Hang on a second!
I-I don't wanna!

I like the idea of keigo and having these long, nice sounding expressions but it does seem quite impractical and I shudder at the thought of trying to learn it. Plus, it'd be very difficult to fit into a haiku!
In English, on the other hand, you can really fit quite a lot into a haiku. Consonant clusters, one syllable words and not having to count for a sound like ん, double consonants or long vowels really make a huge difference.
百芸
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Posted 2/12/15 , edited 2/12/15
It's been the week from hell, so my contribution might have to wait until next week.

I really like what everyone has done so far.
先輩(Moderator)
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Posted 2/14/15


2Dしかない
十四日
シングル様へ
頑張ろう

2Dしかない
じゅうよっか
しんぐるさまへ
がんばろう

Nothing but 2D
Here comes the 14th
To every single out there
Let us all hang on


Happy Valentine's Day, everyone
先生
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Posted 2/17/15
I want to first say: sorry for the long wait, I've been really busy recently so that's why I had to wait until now to choose a winner! I'm really sorry for the delay Cloud-san and senpai

I absolutely loved this week's haiku you two submitted since we kind of had a "Haiku mortal combat". The fact you guys submitted such great haiku dealing with the Haiku mortal combat was quite comical, and made it all the more difficult for me to choose a winner for this week! Really guys, you are awesome haiku writers! And a word to Ditto-san, I hope this week is a better one for you and I look forward to seeing some haiku submitted from you in the near future

Ok you're probably anxious to see who the winner is so without further ado the winner for this week is.....senpai!


乱闘前 の 嘲罵
フン 矢っ張
やる気 が 出る が
無駄な 事

らんとうぜん の ちょうば
ふん やっぱ
やるき が でる が
むだな こと

Taunt before a fight
Hm~ Just as I thought
You seem quite eager but still
It's a futile thing.


I loved how both of Cloud-san's haiku link to each other, like how his first one was describing how we initiated the Haiku mortal combat and how his second haikus like a response to senpai's haiku challenge, so amazing job there guys making a comical haiku conversation to each other But the reason I choose senpai's haiku as the winner is because I love its "in-your-face" language, how it sounds like a taunt you'd expect to hear from some overly self-confident manga or anime character, plus I just love his enthusiasm and energy at challenging his haiku opponents! :D

And a little side note so I don't forget senpai's "2D" poem counts for this week's haiku so keep the entries coming people!!! :)

おめでとう。
芭蕉の化身
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Posted 2/20/15
Good call 先生!
88888888
You know, it's nice when we have an obvious theme for the week.

This is entirely unrelated:

この俳句少し変けど。。。タイキック


このはいく
すこしへんけど。。。
タイキック

This haiku may be
A little bit weird but hey...
How 'bout a Thai Kick


百芸
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Posted 2/20/15
タイキック
ちょっと酷いね
頭痛よ

タイキック
ちょっと ひどい ね
ずつう よ

A Thai Kick
is kind of mean, man.
Headache time!
先生
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Posted 2/21/15
I want to first say thank you Ditto-san and Cloud-san for your last minute entries!! They made it even more difficult for me to choose this week's winner since as always you guys (and senpai too) make the best haiku! I think it's a goos idea to have a theme for each week but I feel like if I choose the theme, it would restrict you guys' creativity I love it when everyone's haiku are connected like Ditto-san's is connected to Cloud-san's!

I first had no idea what a "Thai kick" was but I googled it and it seems like it's a kick to the neck/cheek area, is that correct?

Anyway the winner for this week's contest is.....Ditto-san!!! What made his haiku stand out was the last two lines of his haiku--I found it to be quite comical when he stated how painful being on the receiving end of a Thai kick can be! The last line of his haiku was the best because of the jovial tone when he stated "headache time!" I really loved how his poem had a playful nature since he is describing something painful in a playful way!

Cloud-san I liked your haiku too because of its randomness! The last line, where you introduced the notion of a "Thai kick" was the best part of your haiku! Senpai I liked your haiku as well since you described the holiday some of us dread-Valentine's day. I loved it how your poem's last line egged everyone on to get through Valentine's!

Thank you everyone for your haiku! I look forward to next week's submissions
先生
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Posted 3/2/15
Where are the haiku?
Haiku death battle awaits-
Please submit entries!


芭蕉の化身
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Posted 3/3/15
ハイイ!


棚の上、未だ読めないね?まあ、何時か。


たなのうえ、
まだよめないね?
まあ、いつか。

On top of the shelf.
Still cannot quite read it, huh?
Oh well, in due course.


Bring on the デスバットル!!!
先輩(Moderator)
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Posted 3/3/15

流れ
時間たつ
飛びたいんだが
ワンウェー

ながれ
じかん たつ
とびたい ん だ が
ワンウェー

Flow
The time is passing
I'd love to leap through it but
It's a one way road


Ahh, nothing beats a haiku in the evening Looking forward to further entries!

PS. Would ウェ make 1 or 2 morae? O_o
百芸
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Posted 3/6/15
風が引く
青いそら上
飛ぶ鳥だ

かぜ が ひく
あおい そら うえ
とぶとり だ

The wind is blowing
A blue sky high up above
Soaring is a bird
芭蕉の化身
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/8/15

春風が優しくないよ。肌痛い。

はるかぜが
やさしくないよ。
はだいたい

This spring wind blows not
with kindness or gentleness
but pain for my skin


I got some sunshine today but really paid the price for it.

ごめん、先生 not trying to make your decision harder, just getting in early ahead of next week!




I'd say just 1. My inclination would be to group it with きゅ and にゃ and so on. Certainly, something like ファ should be just one, right? Same for ウェ, I think. But then, it wouldn't make a huge difference in sound if you used ウエ instead for 2 morae.
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