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Male VS. Female Sexual Harassment
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22 / F / None ya business.
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Posted 12/1/14
The act itself doesn't really differ between genders. Perhaps the difference is in how it's handled?
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24 / M / UK
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Posted 1/13/15

GayAsianBoy wrote:

think because female is the oppressed gender so a male sexually harassing a female will always be seen as a bigger deal.

it's like i can say i hate straight people, and nobody will care, but if a straight person says they hate gays, that will be seen as a hate speech since homosexuality is the oppressed sexuality.

the oppressed group will always attract more empathy from people.



You got that spot on. I personally dont think theres any difference, harrassment is harrassment, however a lot of people do.

Theres also a misguided view that ive found a lot of women have:- men like being sexual harrassed by women and therefore it isn't bad.
That statement is completely wrong as alot of men dont like it at all. Im sure there are some that do like it, however there will also be a lot of woment who like being sexual harrassed.
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38 / M / Kentucky
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Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15
The act itself couldn't legally be different between genders in the United States. I think what some people might mean to convey is the reaction from a generalized sampling of male and female people to defined examples of harassment will be similar within their gender. However, individual cases will run a wide spectrum of reactions and depend on many variables. For example, harassment is not the exclusive purview of straight men as it exists within the gay community and within mixed straight and gay environments. While there are many variables to consider sexual orientation of both parties, gender, age, perceived attractiveness, and setting; none of these changes the act or definition of the crime. You have to at least attempt to deal with all cases using the same standards of fairness and equality because to do otherwise would open a pandoras box of how gender, sexuality, and all those other attributes or variables contribute to the severity of the case.

Most men won't experience sexual harassment in their lifetimes and if they do they might not even recognize it as such. We are generally not the pursued sex within heterosexual environments. This in a sense can lead us into some unpleasant situations because much like a child not understanding the dangers of fire, men are vulnerable because of their perceived invulnerability. We don't often understand the complications inherent in reacting to sexual harassment in the work place for example. You might watch the sexual harassment video and laugh at it for example and joke about it with your friends. However, being put in a position to feel like your job or as an extension your family's financial viability was in danger if you didn't comply with or reciprocate flirtation at work could be a confusing and demoralizing thing. This type of thing might be slightly more prevalent today in modern society than in the past when women were not in as many positions of power and responsibility.

Women have been dealing with this kind of thing for generations and were doubtless the first to feel the sting of sexual harassment in it's many new forms in the digital age via texting, cyber stalking, etc. With that being said, what begins with women had to shortly thereafter be visited on their male counterparts and today while not stalked or harassed at equal levels I'm sure men get their share.

To reiterate, the main thing to consider is that the law remains gender neutral while our perception of how we should react and what should happen to those accused is as varied as we ourselves as individuals. While the law or "justice" is blind if you prefer, rulings in court cases are not always so as juried trials are again affected by individual perception and bias. A good example of this in parallel would be the last 15 or so years of news stories about teachers having sex with students and the sentences handed down to the perpetrators in those cases. They were decidedly skewed in favor of short sentences for the women involved up until just the past couple years. Maybe that's a sign that sexual harassment is also moving toward a neutral starting point as it regards public perception.
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Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15
I think an interesting point on this topic is when you think about how differently men and women are treated by the media when it comes to sexual harassment. For example, look at the episode of Futurama that spawned the popular internet meme, "Death by Snu Snu". For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it literally means being sexed to death. In the episode, the main characters (male) are captured by a group of large, amazon-esque women and condemned to death by snu snu. The joke of course is that the characters are confused by whether they should feel scared because of their imminent deaths or excited because of the method of execution. It's all played for laughs, and the episode is one of the better known ones, but what really fascinates me is how horrifying the episode sounds when you flip the genders around. The episode wouldn't even have aired if that were the case, and the public outcry would have been tremendous even if it had.

Essentially what I feel like it boils down to is that when men are depicted as being weak, especially weaker than women, we're taught that it's funny or pathetic. Not only does this cause male victims of sexual harassment to be ridiculed or even to be too afraid to come forward with their trauma, but it reinforced the idea of women being weaker than men. Now I'm not saying Futurama is the cause of all sexism and inequality in the world, but I do think making a joke out of ANY kind of sex crime is harmful to everyone.
7Masks 
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19 / M / Around
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Posted 1/13/15
Like someone else said, females are the oppressed gender. That's not a matter of opinion, it is straight up fact for humans and other species alike. Not saying that a male getting sexually harassed should be brushed off, it is just usually worse when a female is sexually harassed. No, I will not get into male on male or female on female sexual harassment.
xxJing 
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Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15

JoshGalen wrote:

I think an interesting point on this topic is when you think about how differently men and women are treated by the media when it comes to sexual harassment. For example, look at the episode of Futurama that spawned the popular internet meme, "Death by Snu Snu". For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it literally means being sexed to death. In the episode, the main characters (male) are captured by a group of large, amazon-esque women and condemned to death by snu snu. The joke of course is that the characters are confused by whether they should feel scared because of their imminent deaths or excited because of the method of execution. It's all played for laughs, and the episode is one of the better known ones, but what really fascinates me is how horrifying the episode sounds when you flip the genders around. The episode wouldn't even have aired if that were the case, and the public outcry would have been tremendous even if it had.

Essentially what I feel like it boils down to is that when men are depicted as being weak, especially weaker than women, we're taught that it's funny or pathetic. Not only does this cause male victims of sexual harassment to be ridiculed or even to be too afraid to come forward with their trauma, but it reinforced the idea of women being weaker than men. Now I'm not saying Futurama is the cause of all sexism and inequality in the world, but I do think making a joke out of ANY kind of sex crime is harmful to everyone.


I don't mean to be sexist here, but in general, women are physically weaker than men. I am not quite sure on the science of the matter but I think it's pretty obvious that it would take a woman much more effort to build the same amount of muscle mass as it would a man. Of course this also varies from person to person.

Also on the other issue, I don't think the problem is that men being weaker than woman is funny or pathetic. Not with the Futurama episode anyway. In fact most guys find strong women hot, there are hundreds of animes, tv shows, and movies where the female character is stronger than the male character. What is ridiculed in men, is when a man has a weak personality, when they are pushovers who listen to everyone's bidding out of fear. The nerds in revenge of the nerds were physically weak, but they had a backbone and used their brains to achieve victory, that is why those movies were popular.

I think what it boils down to is that for most straight men is that sex with a woman never seems like an unfortunate situation. Especially not when the woman takes the initiative. So when a man complains 'My female boss sexually harassed me' he might as well be complaining that 'I was given money because I am hot.' Basically complaining about what most men would consider a fortunate situation.

Watch the South Park episode 'Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy' and you will see what I mean.
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23 / M / Memphis, Tennessee
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Posted 1/13/15
They are the same, but female sexual harassment is more outspoken due to feminists and gender disparities and gender roles. Females are to be protected, and males are to protect, dominate, find mates, and be stoic. Of course, that isn't 100%, but we tend to have that mindset.
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Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15
You're right in that a lot of the time it does have more to do with the men seeing the situation as a good thing, but at the same time seeing it treated as joke feels off. When I say weak I don't just mean physically, so maybe helpless would be a better word? A lot of series I've seen, a helpless male character is portrayed negatively even if what's happened to him (whether sexual harassment or something else) is out of his control (as helpless would imply). Yet a female character in the same position wouldn't have the same stigma attached, as if she's already expected to be weak. For a real life example, I've seen social experiments where they a couple has a fake argument in a public place with one partner clearly being either verbally or physically abusive to the other. Whenever the aggressor was a male, people intervened immediately, yet if the aggressor was female people tended to ignore it or even laugh at it. I don't know, what you said about the whole "he should feel lucky" mentality seems pretty accurate I just think there's more to it than that.
Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15
I've seen public disturbances where , in one instance, a man @ a bar is drunk and acting disorderly, yelling and throwing his car keys at someone, and something almost exactly the same where its a woman . In the first instance, about 3 or 4 different people called police, leading to his arrest and going to jail , and in the second people are laughing, shaking their heads smiling and offering her a ride home. Is it fair the way people are? no. Men can do the same things as women and vice versa but the man will always culturally be seen as more of a threat, whether they are in fact or no. The only way to combat double standards is awareness and to not partake in contributing to them. Will it change the world overnight, probably not, but its better than being complacent and not taking responsibility for what goes on around us as far as what we can influence.
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Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15

xxJing wrote:


JoshGalen wrote:

I think an interesting point on this topic is when you think about how differently men and women are treated by the media when it comes to sexual harassment. For example, look at the episode of Futurama that spawned the popular internet meme, "Death by Snu Snu". For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it literally means being sexed to death. In the episode, the main characters (male) are captured by a group of large, amazon-esque women and condemned to death by snu snu. The joke of course is that the characters are confused by whether they should feel scared because of their imminent deaths or excited because of the method of execution. It's all played for laughs, and the episode is one of the better known ones, but what really fascinates me is how horrifying the episode sounds when you flip the genders around. The episode wouldn't even have aired if that were the case, and the public outcry would have been tremendous even if it had.

Essentially what I feel like it boils down to is that when men are depicted as being weak, especially weaker than women, we're taught that it's funny or pathetic. Not only does this cause male victims of sexual harassment to be ridiculed or even to be too afraid to come forward with their trauma, but it reinforced the idea of women being weaker than men. Now I'm not saying Futurama is the cause of all sexism and inequality in the world, but I do think making a joke out of ANY kind of sex crime is harmful to everyone.


I don't mean to be sexist here, but in general, women are physically weaker than men. I am not quite sure on the science of the matter but I think it's pretty obvious that it would take a woman much more effort to build the same amount of muscle mass as it would a man. Of course this also varies from person to person.

Also on the other issue, I don't think the problem is that men being weaker than woman is funny or pathetic. Not with the Futurama episode anyway. In fact most guys find strong women hot, there are hundreds of animes, tv shows, and movies where the female character is stronger than the male character. What is ridiculed in men, is when a man has a weak personality, when they are pushovers who listen to everyone's bidding out of fear. The nerds in revenge of the nerds were physically weak, but they had a backbone and used their brains to achieve victory, that is why those movies were popular.

I think what it boils down to is that for most straight men is that sex with a woman never seems like an unfortunate situation. Especially not when the woman takes the initiative. So when a man complains 'My female boss sexually harassed me' he might as well be complaining that 'I was given money because I am hot.' Basically complaining about what most men would consider a fortunate situation.

Watch the South Park episode 'Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy' and you will see what I mean.


As a man that has been sexually harassed by a woman for turning her down, I take offense to the idea that any sort of sexual assault done to a man by a woman is viewed as acceptable or "not a loss"

Additionally, why is it acceptable for women to be weak, and men not?

As for strength... I know a few women I'd be happy to have back me up in a barfight... >.> Some with police records for kicking someone's ass...
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Posted 1/13/15

serifsansserif wrote:


xxJing wrote:


JoshGalen wrote:

I think an interesting point on this topic is when you think about how differently men and women are treated by the media when it comes to sexual harassment. For example, look at the episode of Futurama that spawned the popular internet meme, "Death by Snu Snu". For those of you unfamiliar with the term, it literally means being sexed to death. In the episode, the main characters (male) are captured by a group of large, amazon-esque women and condemned to death by snu snu. The joke of course is that the characters are confused by whether they should feel scared because of their imminent deaths or excited because of the method of execution. It's all played for laughs, and the episode is one of the better known ones, but what really fascinates me is how horrifying the episode sounds when you flip the genders around. The episode wouldn't even have aired if that were the case, and the public outcry would have been tremendous even if it had.

Essentially what I feel like it boils down to is that when men are depicted as being weak, especially weaker than women, we're taught that it's funny or pathetic. Not only does this cause male victims of sexual harassment to be ridiculed or even to be too afraid to come forward with their trauma, but it reinforced the idea of women being weaker than men. Now I'm not saying Futurama is the cause of all sexism and inequality in the world, but I do think making a joke out of ANY kind of sex crime is harmful to everyone.


I don't mean to be sexist here, but in general, women are physically weaker than men. I am not quite sure on the science of the matter but I think it's pretty obvious that it would take a woman much more effort to build the same amount of muscle mass as it would a man. Of course this also varies from person to person.

Also on the other issue, I don't think the problem is that men being weaker than woman is funny or pathetic. Not with the Futurama episode anyway. In fact most guys find strong women hot, there are hundreds of animes, tv shows, and movies where the female character is stronger than the male character. What is ridiculed in men, is when a man has a weak personality, when they are pushovers who listen to everyone's bidding out of fear. The nerds in revenge of the nerds were physically weak, but they had a backbone and used their brains to achieve victory, that is why those movies were popular.

I think what it boils down to is that for most straight men is that sex with a woman never seems like an unfortunate situation. Especially not when the woman takes the initiative. So when a man complains 'My female boss sexually harassed me' he might as well be complaining that 'I was given money because I am hot.' Basically complaining about what most men would consider a fortunate situation.

Watch the South Park episode 'Miss Teacher Bangs a Boy' and you will see what I mean.


As a man that has been sexually harassed by a woman for turning her down, I take offense to the idea that any sort of sexual assault done to a man by a woman is viewed as acceptable or "not a loss"

Additionally, why is it acceptable for women to be weak, and men not?

As for strength... I know a few women I'd be happy to have back me up in a barfight... >.> Some with police records for kicking someone's ass...


I don't think that he's saying that the ideology of the harassment being 'fortunate' is correct, just acknowledging it exists. I was told as early in sixth grade by someone who honestly believed that if a women pointed a gun at you and forced herself on you that it was a good thing as long as she was attractive. At the very least, it's something a lot of teenager's believe.
xxJing 
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Posted 1/13/15

serifsansserif wrote:


As a man that has been sexually harassed by a woman for turning her down, I take offense to the idea that any sort of sexual assault done to a man by a woman is viewed as acceptable or "not a loss"

Additionally, why is it acceptable for women to be weak, and men not?

As for strength... I know a few women I'd be happy to have back me up in a barfight... >.> Some with police records for kicking someone's ass...


I personally don't discriminate. I don't like whiny weak willed people regardless of gender.

However traditionally strength wasn't required of women but it was required of a man in order for him to protect his family. A lot of people still follow those traditional ideals.

There are plenty of physically strong women out there. I respect them. Most men respect them. I never said there weren't. I just said that it takes a woman more effort than a man to reach a certain level of physical strength.

I personally have never been sexually harassed so I can't speak from experience. I can't really say whether what you experienced was something to complain about or not. I can say that I don't have a problem with being touched though, be it by a man or a woman.

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Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15
Sexual harassment is sexual harassment no matter the gender being attacked. Girls do get taught about noticing harassment but I noticed no one gave my brother advice on avoiding it. I had to deal with harassment since I was a girl and still do now.
Posted 1/13/15 , edited 1/14/15
It's probably not good to let anyone be sexually harassed. If one is going to ignore some harassment because of gender, then it's just setting up another double standard in an society replete with them. Also the guilty upon accusation thing expoused by some is just incredibly stupid. It just makes everyone afraid, so they feel the need to walk on egg shells around everyone. It's just ends up being stressful and demoralizing.
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 1/13/15
The disposable male or male disposability

it's the staple of those mra cats
vs
the feminist (tumbr) staple which is victimization

I believe people are watering down harassment, like that woman in NYC walking video, actual harassment is in the workplace, not catcalls.
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