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Post Reply Difference between Catcalling vs Genuine Interest/pickup
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22 / M / New Jersey
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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14
Hi guys :D

So with the Recent Catcalling subject becoming increasingly popular, many youtube videos of guys and girls being catcalled are surfacing (whether its a parody or not).
One of the famous catcalling videos are: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1XGPvbWn0A
which generated a lot of hate from the population we know today.
This has been a very debated issue between harassment/sexual harassment/abuse vs compliments/pickup/interest



Now I've started this post because I'm a bit uneasy about the matter. There have been posts addressing just catcalling and posts addressing pick up lines, but none that compare both.
In terms of that video, catcalling has a negative connotation to our society and we see that in the comments and people saying "thats disgusting". From reading the comments and seeing people talk in articles about why this could be considered harassment, I convince myself that this might be a bad thing.

What confuses me is that there are other youtube famous videos made such as videos by Simple Pickup or Stuart Edge in which they pick up girls in their own way.

Simple pickup is dedicated to teaching the male populace about how to pick up girls using pick up lines and having confidence. They encourage males to go out and just get rejected constantly and practicing their confidence. With enough tries, they claim that you can get a girl (numbers game).
They have done some absurd things like picking girls up with a shock collar, or saying harry potter's most cheesiest lines

Their channel is : https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFns-k9UgOhVRnKHdynzU2A

Stuart edge is more of a magician than a pick up artist, however he does do magic tricks and cardtricks which involve kisses sometimes (an idea of picking up girls).


So what am i ranting on about? Its hard to explain because i'm hoping you guys could help me find an answer.....I'm a bit confused about the message that multiple people are trying to portray here..

What exactly is catcalling? Can the tactics used by simplepickup be considered sexual harassment (which is like catcalling? since they are picking up girls with that goal in mind).
What makes Catcalling anywhere or in that first video different than what simplepickup does, or what stuart edge does?

Could it be that Simplepickup and Stuart edge do what they do in a smoother way so its less catcalling?


Is there a way to pick up a girl if you Honestly like her without being labeled catcalling?

Or perhaps all of this is just not acceptable, period?



Thanks guys :D
Posted 12/1/14
It has to reciprocal.

I say 99.999% of the time, going up to a random person you find attractive and just saying "Yo, let's hang out" is NOT gonna work, despite what those guys say.

The best way is to go after people you actually know. Schoolmates, colleagues, friends, etc. Someone you've seen more than once, and have shown interest in you also.

Going up to a girl and saying "Sup beautiful" is weird, and unless they're part of that .1%, going to brush you off and keep going.
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 12/1/14
Your just gonna have to risk it, I suppose.

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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/2/14
I've noticed that there's a type of cat-calling when people intentionally harass others, like, a few years ago, some guys pulled up by my little sister and I to clearly make fun of her. That kind of cat-calling is pretty easy to spot, since assholes don't tend to be very subtle about their motives. Those people often reek of doucheness. I should know... A hyper and high school me did that several times to some male classmates to make them uncomfortable, and once or twice to a former buddy of mine (somewhat reoccurring, lunchtime prank).



EDIT:
If catcalling is totally unacceptable, what do we make of couples catcalling each other? Friends mess around, too. My mom and stepdad often catcall one another. I would think that I'd have the freedom to catcall my rhetorical lovers and good friends.
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21 / M / The Heroes Associ...
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Posted 12/1/14
lol if I see a cute girl (or guy) if i try to get their attention and it will most likely look like this


There is a pretty big difference between being like "hey, I noticed you earlier and just wanted to let you know your beautiful" and "daaaaaaamn look at dat ass"

While i dont mind when guys or girls catcall me, I get annoyed when its overly explicit and or disgusting. There is also a certain time and certain places where its more acceptable (in a club) however, while walking along the road its pretty disgusting to feel eyes crawling up and down your body.
Posted 12/1/14

pandrasb wrote:

Your just gonna have to risk it, I suppose.



pretty much this ^
Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14
You know what they say, it's only harassment if you are ugly. Sad that's there truth in this statement.
Fyk0 
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26 / M / Winland
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Posted 12/1/14
I don't know, I just personally haven't seen any reason to even try to pickup random girls. In my case the chances of them being correct relationship material is close to zero anway. If you just look banging material, I think going to clubs works better.

But if you honestly like someone, you have to know them even a tiny bit from somewhere, just as AiYumega said. I would just go to talk to them with some casual topic instead and try to lead it to see if they seem interested or not.
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49 / M / KC
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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 7/17/15
Catcalling is never an acceptable way of indicating interest in a woman. If you are interested, talk to her like she's a human being.
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35 / M
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Posted 12/1/14

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

You know what they say, it's only harassment if you are ugly. Sad that's there truth in this statement.


Or rather, it's only acceptable if they're already interested in you.

Different strokes for different folks. Sometimes what I very as ugly is considered beautiful to others and vice versa.
Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14

serifsansserif wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

You know what they say, it's only harassment if you are ugly. Sad that's there truth in this statement.


Or rather, it's only acceptable if they're already interested in you.

Different strokes for different folks. Sometimes what I very as ugly is considered beautiful to others and vice versa.


People don't want attention from people they consider ugly. The fact they edited out white people who did similar things is simply disgusting and shallow, and shows how bias we can be towards others. I know that catcalling happens in ethnic neighborhoods more often than affluent ones, but that's no reason to treat white men differently for acting in a similar manner.

I assume the link he posted was the hollaback video. Also, different strokes to different folks? It isn't what you consider beautiful, it's the person being subjected to the flirtations.
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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14
As I understand it, pick-up lines--as pathetic as they are--at least indicate an interest in the person to whom they are directed. Catcalling, on the other hand, is done purely as a form of harassment and a way of screaming out to the whole world what an _sshole the perpetrator is.
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Posted 12/1/14

PeripheralVisionary wrote:It isn't what you consider beautiful, it's the person being subjected to the flirtations.


That's precisely what I meant.

Just because you may view yourself as ugly (or not) doesn't mean the person you are flirting with (or not) feels the same. So someone may think you are hot, and are wondering why they can never get your attention, meanwhile you think you're ugly as shit, and then both parties end up "Forever Alone".. Conversely, you may think your hot shit, and the person you are flirting with doesn't want anything to do with you, and then you end up in jail for "harassment". (over simplifying it here but you get my point).

I should make a topic later on about how all this concern about catcalling and "harassment" can be detrimental to everyone.
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Posted 12/1/14
I don't mind it.. to an extent. If someone compliments me, I'll accept it and walk away. But if it's sort of vulgar, I might get offended.
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23 / M / Crunchyroll HQ
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Posted 12/1/14
Its works for me and friends of like 70% of the time it even worked for my dad.
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