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Speech
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16 / M
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Posted 12/1/14
So I want you to make a speech and tried to influence a person to do something
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18 / M / Louisiana
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Posted 12/1/14
This is interesting, but it would help if I had a topic to go by
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 12/1/14

Rojjikku wrote:

This is interesting, but it would help if I had a topic to go by

This.
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18 / M / Louisiana
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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14
How about you try to sell someone a product? Like a...VACUUM CLEANER! No, no. Thats too cliche. Wait! try to get the poster above you to buy something from you! I'm really just taking over this thread aren't I? NO ONE STEAL MY IDEA I'VE COPYRIGHTED IT!
Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14
I vant you. Yes you. Vant you. Hi, I'm Ai Yumega. Today I'm gonna talk to you about life. Yes, life. Life is the cycle of processes, that inevitably end with us dead. 6 feet under, rotting, eaten by maggots. Life is short, as the average person only lives a maximum of 100 or so years. But in those 100 years, you need to live each to the fullest. How? I'll tell you!

*Walks to middle of audience*

How many of you like to surf the net? Yeah, okay a few of you. Well don't. It's deadly. It will kill. You will have searches and die, okay. How many of you like to sit at home and listen to some jazz while reading a nice book? Yeah, okay a few of you. Well don't. It's dangerous. Books kill.

My advice is this. Become one with the world, as in the sense of world's becoming one amongst ourselves. You get that? You ever seen that MASH episode where the guy dies? Not that guy, the other guy. Well, don't be that guy! Be Hawkeye! Yeah!!

You know how there's no hope for humanity and we're all gonna die at the hands of a collapsing sun? Yeah, okay a few of you. Well good, because the time is nigh. Brethren, grab forth your Bibles and let us all pray.

THE LORD HATH SMITE US ALL! WE ALL SHALL PERISH! EVERY ONE OF US! THE LORD LOVES NO SINNER, OR MAN HIMSELF, CAN I HEAR AN AMEN! LET ME HEAR AN AMEN! AMEN! AM-

*Phone rings*

"Yeah, oh the world's not ending? Then why...no why am I here? Ughh alright I'll pick it up. What kind? Downy soft? Alright. I'll remember. I will I will. Alright, Love you too. Bye"

EN!!

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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14

Rojjikku wrote:

How about you try to sell someone a product?

Posted 12/1/14
good luck
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47 / M / Memphis, TN
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Posted 12/1/14 , edited 12/1/14
Make a speech and influence people? I'd rather make a cult and control people. . .Oh, wait. Kate from Zvezda just called to remind me that starting my own cult would violate the terms of my Zvezda membership.

Never mind.
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35 / M
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Posted 12/1/14
I'm told I can be very convincing...

"I have your wife and daughter in a very safe space. But I cannot guarantee the safety of said place for much longer unless you do X.

I'm not saying you have to do X, but that I have your best interests in mind and it might be in your best interest to do it..."

XD
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F
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Posted 12/1/14
Hey, you. Yeah, you. Look at me. You see this beautiful face? Buy me some food. I'm starving.
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22 / M / North Carolina
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Posted 12/1/14

AiYumega wrote:

I vant you. Yes you. Vant you. Hi, I'm Ai Yumega. Today I'm gonna talk to you about life. Yes, life. Life is the cycle of processes, that inevitably end with us dead. 6 feet under, rotting, eaten by maggots. Life is short, as the average person only lives a maximum of 100 or so years. But in those 100 years, you need to live each to the fullest. How? I'll tell you!

*Walks to middle of audience*

How many of you like to surf the net? Yeah, okay a few of you. Well don't. It's deadly. It will kill. You will have searches and die, okay. How many of you like to sit at home and listen to some jazz while reading a nice book? Yeah, okay a few of you. Well don't. It's dangerous. Books kill.

My advice is this. Become one with the world, as in the sense of world's becoming one amongst ourselves. You get that? You ever seen that MASH episode where the guy dies? Not that guy, the other guy. Well, don't be that guy! Be Hawkeye! Yeah!!

You know how there's no hope for humanity and we're all gonna die at the hands of a collapsing sun? Yeah, okay a few of you. Well good, because the time is nigh. Brethren, grab forth your Bibles and let us all pray.

THE LORD HATH SMITE US ALL! WE ALL SHALL PERISH! EVERY ONE OF US! THE LORD LOVES NO SINNER, OR MAN HIMSELF, CAN I HEAR AN AMEN! LET ME HEAR AN AMEN! AMEN! AM-

*Phone rings*

"Yeah, oh the world's not ending? Then why...no why am I here? Ughh alright I'll pick it up. What kind? Downy soft? Alright. I'll remember. I will I will. Alright, Love you too. Bye"

EN!!




You know what?... You are awesome! The fact that you came up with that makes you awesome and I enjoyed reading it. I even read it in a funny accent to increase the funny. Thank you...
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26 / M / Connecticut
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Posted 12/1/14
Posted 12/1/14


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23 / M
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Posted 12/1/14

serifsansserif wrote:

I'm told I can be very convincing...

"I have your wife and daughter in a very safe space. But I cannot guarantee the safety of said place for much longer unless you do X.

I'm not saying you have to do X, but that I have your best interests in mind and it might be in your best interest to do it..."

XD


I think you have the wrong phone number.
I'm not married and don't have children.
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35 / M
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Posted 12/1/14

Nobodyofimportance wrote:


serifsansserif wrote:

I'm told I can be very convincing...

"I have your wife and daughter in a very safe space. But I cannot guarantee the safety of said place for much longer unless you do X.

I'm not saying you have to do X, but that I have your best interests in mind and it might be in your best interest to do it..."

XD


I think you have the wrong phone number.
I'm not married and don't have children.


Really!?!?!? Hmmm.. just to confirm, where do you live? XD
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