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Have you ever been depressed?
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19 / M / Louisiana
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Posted 12/10/14
I've been diagnosed with clinical depression and social anxiety. I sleep most of the day, and wake up with no energy. I dont even go to school anymore because I find it pointless (I'm not a dropout, I just don't physically attend), and i've always thought about death (since I was about 11 or 12 years old), not suicide, mind you, just...you know, what happens? Is it nothing? Will I be reincarnated? Of course I'll never know the answers to the questions I ask myself everyday. I take medication for it, and MY GOD there is such a difference between when i'm not on the meds and when I am. I'll be angry at everything for no reason, i'll barely eat or sleep either; but man, when I'm on the meds I feel like I could take on the fucking world, I want to go places and do things! and after almost 5 years of living with it and feeling like worm excrement, I've never been happier.

If anyone reads this and you think you have depression, I recommend going to see a medical professional, it really helped me and it might work for you; hell just talk with someone, anyone close to you like a parent or a sibling, fuck talk to your dog if you want;just don't keep it in man, shit ain't good for you.
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F / Edo
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Posted 12/10/14
I was depressed a little bit last week. But um yeah.. I am good now.
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24 / M / Western Illinois,...
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Posted 12/10/14
Yes, like most people in the world I have been depressed. Nothing too serious, but stress really pushes me sometimes.
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F
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Posted 12/10/14
Oh yeah, I get depressed a lot. Recently it has subsided but sometimes it comes out of nowhere.
6011 cr points
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Posted 12/10/14
Im depressed a lot the past time, since I moved and became a foreigner it has never been easy and being a 19 year old kid shouldering mine and other peoples problems doesnt help. I recall a couple of days ago when I really wanted to go out to have fun with friends but my body just wouldnt let me to. Very very weird. Sometimes when I go out and listen to music I get very random depressive thoughts that involve me with someone who is really close to me. I too imagine things that happened in the past in another way and try to live through it. Its very subconscious and I try to stop it.

I too cant remember the last time somebody has called me for a drink or out just to hangout and ask me how am I doing and what do I do, its like nobody has interest in me and it is something that I really long for, just that one person who would care to ask me if I am okay. I do sometimes try to cover it up but I am a bad liar because friends in my homeland knew at the second when I said Im okay that there is something wrong with me. I too am gay and nobody knows that and I feel like if I ever come out to my mom its gonna change everything and I am really afraid of this change. I wish I had a friend that I would trust enough to tell him everything I want everyday and my problems.. ah yeah, life sure is hard, but I keep on living and hoping for the best, trying to redeem myself being of help to someone else and trying to be as kind as I can. Hopefully I get 'paid' back one day and Ill be the one getting kindness from someone.
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23 / M / Michigan
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Posted 12/10/14

saksiss wrote:

I am depressed 24/7.


Same. Maybe I just look at things in a negative way.

My fav thing to do is come home, barricade myself in my room and be here on CR.

LOVE YOU ALL
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21 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 12/10/14
I used to be. It was minor.
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15 / M / Northern California
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Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14
In the last 2 years, I have been depressed to the extent of suicidal thoughts, but not actually trying it. I have social anxiety when it comes to people. Some people I can get along with if I get a proper introduction and talk a lot, but other times I find it very hard to talk mainly with people I am not that into and I can't get into a conversation. I guess I just need to warm up with people. I find it easier to talk to other people outside than at school because I don't have much time at school. I also used to have online best friends, but now they don't come on as much which makes my life just as terrible. My mom and dad can be very annoying around me with school work and stuff also lol.

In all reality, I think I have been doing better with this problem, but I still hate my life.

Anime really helps with this though...
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18 / M
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Posted 12/10/14
I've been depressed for the longest time, but got over it most of the time by doing some silly shit, and watching Anime.

Well.. Part of my depression does come from anime. T>T Fucking School Days.
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29 / M / San Antonio
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Posted 12/10/14
I suffered pretty bad depression after dropping out of college. It got better after I found my job. Worst year and a half ever. These days though, I'm not the happiest person, but I don't think I'd call myself depressed.
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22 / M / Norway
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Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14
I'm not sure what it means to be depressed. I went 1 year without doing anything, and being bored everyday, but i don't think that was depression, because then i assume i would know.

What i do have, is something i can't really put into words. It might be my imagination, or it might be normal and that i'm unaware of it, but what it does is balancing out my positivity with negativity. It's like having a stomache ache. You have moments with pain, and then you get a break before the pain comes back. It's like something is watching over me to make sure i don't escape from it.

This doesn't happen to me while i'm concious though, that's why it could be my imagination or dream. And it's kinda contradicting that i can feel this stuff while not being concious. Idk how to explain it better.
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22 / M / Norway
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Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14

Derptopher wrote:

Im depressed a lot the past time, since I moved and became a foreigner it has never been easy and being a 19 year old kid shouldering mine and other peoples problems doesnt help. I recall a couple of days ago when I really wanted to go out to have fun with friends but my body just wouldnt let me to. Very very weird. Sometimes when I go out and listen to music I get very random depressive thoughts that involve me with someone who is really close to me. I too imagine things that happened in the past in another way and try to live through it. Its very subconscious and I try to stop it.

I too cant remember the last time somebody has called me for a drink or out just to hangout and ask me how am I doing and what do I do, its like nobody has interest in me and it is something that I really long for, just that one person who would care to ask me if I am okay. I do sometimes try to cover it up but I am a bad liar because friends in my homeland knew at the second when I said Im okay that there is something wrong with me. I too am gay and nobody knows that and I feel like if I ever come out to my mom its gonna change everything and I am really afraid of this change. I wish I had a friend that I would trust enough to tell him everything I want everyday and my problems.. ah yeah, life sure is hard, but I keep on living and hoping for the best, trying to redeem myself being of help to someone else and trying to be as kind as I can. Hopefully I get 'paid' back one day and Ill be the one getting kindness from someone.


I'll be your friend
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M / Tralfamadore
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Posted 12/10/14
Clinically depressed for 15+ years, mildly autistic so socially isolated,( really prefer it), seen several psychiatrists. I currently take Wellbutrin XL which works well for me, many other meds have contradictory responses; antidepressants that make me more depressed,anti psychotics that induce psychotic episodes etc. When dealing with psychiatrists you need to be really careful some just throw the pharmacy at you without a proper diagnosis,a shotgun approach.

If I had the chance to start over I'd have tried a psychologist first, give the no drug therapy a chance first. But now I'm pretty much an addict, can't live without it. Also since the Wellbutrin brightens me up so much I can't sleep without two other drugs. Drug therapy's are still blunt instruments, so take care.
dz3k 
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77 / M / Uranus
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Posted 12/10/14 , edited 2/10/15
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29 / M / Bullhead City, AZ
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Posted 12/10/14
I've been depressed since I was five years old when my father died and everyone I knew(my age and school teachers) told me that he died to get away from me. It became clinical when I was seven and I was kidnapped by my school bus driver. I have no memories of anything that happened from after I got on the bus and realized something wasn't right to getting dropped off somewhere randomly near my school several hours later. That stretch of time may be a black fog I can't see through, but I'm pretty sure I can imagine what happened.

Then throughout my younger years seeing my friends either use me, die or go crazy, on top of looking through my family history and knowing that I have a 90% chance of getting cancer at least sometime during my life. My life not turning out the way I had hoped/planned it to makes it worse.

When I was a kid, even in high school, I thought that at 27 years old I would already be married with a kid, or at least on the verge of having those things and a normal life. Never even occurred to me that I would, at 27 be a guy who spends all day at home too terrified of everyone and everything around me to leave, that I would hate myself for doing anything, that I'd become this giant worthless pile of crap I am now that gets sad and self-deprecating every time I look at the clothes in my closet, or realize that I am sitting on the PC and have been sitting here all day, or that I see people walking around outside being normal and having normal lives, not understanding how people can actually be happy.

The feeling of happiness is so alien to me it's scary. I mean yeah I laugh on occasion or I can enjoy a show I'm watching or a game I'm playing, but I'm never happy doing anything. I typically spend most of my week in bed because I don't see the value of getting out of it. I hardly eat anything because I'm terrified of getting sick. I wash and sanitize my hands constantly for the same reasons, to the point where my knuckles have become calloused and split open down to almost the middle of my hand, the skin on my palms and fingers falling off from so much sanitizer that it is constantly eating away the surface layers of my skin.

The few times I do try to reach out and make a connection with somebody they avoid me like I have the plague because of the things wrong with my head, the clinical depression, OCD, Germaphobia, hallucinations, ect., which further strengthens my resolve to not get out of bed because I know nothing good will come of the day before me. The few people through my life who have managed to get past that end up leaving me regardless once they see the vertical scar on my wrist. They leave me like they're afraid I'm not worth the risk.

Both the prolonged time I had my kidney stones a few years back(had two stones for 13 months) and painkiller use has left my kidney scarred, damaged and in never ending pain.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep truckin' even though I hate everything about my existence.
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