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Nice Guys?
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Posted 12/10/14
Finally, now is my chance to post in a friendzone thread.

I don't really relate to this "nice guy" phenomena because my disposition ranges from outright mean to indifferent. I even describe myself as a sarcastic asshole when other people ask me what I'm like, and I certainly don't believe that this makes me a "strong" person. I've also generally been the one to do the friendzoning because I don't really like people being in my business, and I can say that this never ends well as every time it has happened the lady in question grew increasingly vitriolic toward me as time passed. This whole dichotomy of strong vs weak seems a bit nonsensical to me. If you make every effort to portray yourself as a "strong" guy, you are just going to be like all the other "strong" guys in the room. You will also probably attract a person that you will be unable to relate to because they were drawn to a facade. The same would apply if you projected yourself as a "weak" guy. There isn't some magical formula to bend other people to your will, and if someone does not want to be with you, look for someone who does instead of chasing after nothing.

Additionally, to anyone who is friendzoned, don't try to change your friend's mind because it isn't your's to change.
Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14
I believe friends and boyfriend are two separate things rather than "upgrades" of one another.
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Posted 12/10/14

AiYumega wrote:

At least 90% of attraction is physical. The other 10% is if you're creepy or not.


Eh. No. Attraction is broken down to -

- Physical Attraction. (Obviously.)
- Similarity. (Opposites attract? Yeah....no. They don't. We're not magnets.)
- Proximity. (We go for people we are -physically- close to. Coworkers, fellow students....ect. Also includes Mere Exposure Effect. The more we're around someone, the more attractive we find them/the more we like them.)
- Association. (The Suspension Bridge Effect. If we're happy when we meet someone, we associate our happiness with them. The Suspension Bridge Effect is that, except with excitation. Excitation Transfer. We associate the rush of adrenaline and elated mood with the person, not the situation, in our memories.)
- Reciprocation. (We tend to like people who like us back.)



CherryDynamite8 wrote:

Kinda sounds like what happened on the "Shy Guy" threads. Some weirdos flipped when I said that shy guys have annoyed me in the past because of their inability to simply be direct with me. So yes, I will admit that, being quite blunt and strong-willed myself, I would be far more likely to pity than actually feel for a nice-doormat-guy. A guy who is caring and strong...ooh boy. Far more preferable.

And why do guys obsess over the friendzone to begin with? Regardless of how "nice", or good, or bad, or shy, or whatever else you percieve yourself to be, that in no way obligates a person to magically return your feelings. Nor does it make you the ideal match for the person of your choosing. It just don't work that way lol.


Baby, you light my dynamite. How 'bout you and me catch dinner and a movie? My treat.
Posted 12/10/14
Oh not this shit again.
Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14

Phersu wrote:


AiYumega wrote:

At least 90% of attraction is physical. The other 10% is if you're creepy or not.



- Similarity. (Opposites attract? Yeah....no. They don't. We're not magnets.)


I'm a masochist, so naturally I gravitate toward sadistic people.
In certain cases, we do like our opposites. I for one want a buxom woman who'll humiliate me as her husbando.
Posted 12/10/14

Phersu wrote:

- Similarity. (Opposites attract? Yeah....no. They don't. We're not magnets.)



I guess I'm a magnet then.
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Posted 12/10/14

AiYumega wrote:

At least 90% of attraction is physical. The other 10% is if you're creepy or not.


Unless you're someone like me. I don't get physical attraction to others. But I still know that the 'nice guy' thing is bullshit and I have good long stories about it too that would be too much to type (one was over the course of years). Emotionally I need that click, and if I don't get it with someone then of course I'm not going to date them. And 'niceness' isn't really being nice in a good amount of cases. It's being nice to get in someone's pants (male or female), and then whining and bitching when the person doesn't want to date them - whenever it is they actually own up and/or say to the person they're wanting to date that that's indeed the fact. Being nice doesn't key someone into that the person wants to date them.
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Posted 12/10/14
...... whoa......
Posted 12/10/14


haikinka wrote:

Oh not this shit again.


lol
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Posted 12/10/14

metalshiflet96 wrote:

I stand up for myself a lot, and I'm usually really nice, but friendzones still happen, so I don't agree


Pretty much this, nothing else to add really except lots of girls around here (where I live) date dbags.
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Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14
Lmao, my boyfriend is maybe the nicest and sweetest guy you'll meet. He's a huge dork.
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Posted 12/10/14

Genckler wrote:


metalshiflet96 wrote:

I stand up for myself a lot, and I'm usually really nice, but friendzones still happen, so I don't agree


Pretty much this, nothing else to add really except lots of girls around here (where I live) date dbags.


I could also add that I'm romantic (I could post an example if proof is needed)
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Posted 12/10/14 , edited 12/10/14

Phersu wrote:

So, I bet a lot of you have heard nice guys finish last, or girls love bad boys. Lots of 'nice guys' complain about being friend zoned.

Nonsense. I submit to you, the scientific CR community, that these guys aren't nice but weak. Confusable for one another, I know.

You do not be nice and allow others to have their way. You submit to their way for they are stronger. You do not set a line and let it not be crossed. You never lay down the law, or stand up for yourself. Going out of your way to help friends is fine. But always waiting on them hand and foot? Kindness?! Nay! Weakness!

It isn't that girls go for bad guys. Girls go for strong guys who stand up for themselves!

Discuss your opinions.




LMAO I F**king love your posts dude

It's like if you cut through all the BS and serve up a dish of the truth on a silver platter.


Why strength? Masculinity = Strength?
So wouldn't it be in us weak/nice/shy guys interest to go join up feminist and destroy masculinity for our personal favor to redo masculinity to our liking? (MOST ROUNDABOUT WAY EVER and that would be the most hilarious thing ever)
hypothetical and joking
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Posted 12/10/14
I completely agree with what Phersu said. It's not that the nice guys finish last its that some guys are way too introverted and conserved to stand up for themselves in those types of situations. Either that or they're just ugly.
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22 / M
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Posted 12/10/14

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

I'm a masochist, so naturally I gravitate toward sadistic people.
In certain cases, we do like our opposites. I for one want a buxom woman who'll humiliate me as her husbando.


Esdeath's mine! Back off.
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