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Friend-Zone P.S.A.
Posted 12/11/14


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M / Houston, Tx
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Posted 12/12/14

narfington wrote:

Well I'm just gonna say it. I think the majority of the people who complain about the friendzone don't truly have feelings for these girls. I think they're just mad they can't get laid.


Hahah, never happened to me.

You might probably guess why..
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24 / M / UK
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Posted 12/12/14
The 'Friendzone' is a convenient way of making yourself feel better when you just aren't plain attractive to the object of your affection. Cut it out.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 12/12/14 , edited 12/12/14
When I was young I was stupid/naive to headgames some girls liked to play (notice I said some). One was the worst. We were "friends" for years and she was the one that kept bringing up wanting more from me. She'd ask me out, made it clear it would be a date then once I accepted, within a day, she'd say she thought about it and didn't want to risk destroying the friendship we had. Everytime I asked another girl out or one asked me out of when my "friend" got dumped she'd ask me out and pull the same routine. One day I spoke to her best female friend who informed me that she actually got a kick out of playing the game because I had no clue I'd never get out of her "friendzone". I confronted her and she couldn't look me in the face while trying to deny it. That was the day I stopped taking her nightly calls or even spoke to her face to face. Last I heard she was pregnant from her loser ex-boyfriend who didn't "take responsibility" and dumped her right after.
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31 / M / Bellingham WA, USA
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Posted 12/12/14
I've had many girls in the past try to friend zone me. A few even briefly succeeded.

It's definitely a real thing, and it's definitely not the same thing as a friendship. I have a lot of great female friends, but they don't look to me for a boyfriend experience, they look to me as a fellow human being whose company they periodically enjoy. Pretty much the same thing as my guy friends.

I feel badly for men who lack self respect or even just feel so lonely for whatever reason that they allow themselves to get into situations like that. Nobody likes to be used for one sided reasons like that. It doesn't feel good at all. Thankfully it's more of a High School phenomena than something I've encountered a lot as an adult.
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F / CA
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Posted 12/12/14
hmmm one person told me i friend zone everyone..... LOL

i was actually shocked when she told me that coz i didnt really notice i was doing it unconsciously.... lol

now i feel bad LOL

well.... to be honest... i dont really notice if a guy is interested in me or not so i treat them as a friend. unless they tell me they are interested then i wouldn't know.

and no. hinting wont do coz i am dense af. LOL
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28 / M / San Antonio
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Posted 12/12/14
Just remembered this song and thought it would be appropriate for this thread.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ChWgl-7PRa8&list=UUb6JTMjrHZCYFD9Y04CBk9g

Check it out....or don't...I don't care.
Posted 12/12/14

MeanwhileBackInCommunistRussia wrote:

The 'Friendzone' is a convenient way of making yourself feel better when you just aren't plain attractive to the object of your affection. Cut it out.


I'd count myself in this camp, and say it's akin to licking a wound. It's a concept we use to make ourselves feel better about not getting what we want.
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23 / M / Beyond The Wall
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Posted 12/12/14

narfington wrote:

Can I get a TL;DR version?


Fuck bitches get money
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24 / F
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Posted 12/12/14 , edited 12/12/14
I browsed through this thread and I must say its rather... strange. I can see where people are coming from and get the rage that goes on, but at the same time I think something needs to be said. Something that can only come from someone who entirely lacks an interest in romance and relationships. Like me. Its a good life.

Just because you are interested in someone romantically, and you pursue a relationship with them, it doesn't mean that they have to accept you. If some girl doesn't want to date you (or be your lover or whatever the cool kids call it these days) but tries to keep you for 'emotional needs', OP was right, that's messed up and she's using you. Or something. If you feel that you only want to devote that much energy to someone who's willing to devote that back to you, then you'll only hurt yourself if it goes badly or nothing is properly reciprocated.
But
That means that really, the friend zone is somewhere you put yourself. You let yourself be used if you insist on staying there to change their mind, make it through to them. I mean, you could put it in more antiquated terms and say that you're courting said girl (however ineffectively) but that doesn't have the same victimized ring to it that 'friend zone' has. If you have the guts to make it clear that your objective is a relationship with the person, if they then reject your advances you just have to accept that they don't like you in that way. If after they reject you they still want to use your feelings to take advantage of you that's bad. But remember: no one is obligated to come to like anyone. And if you don't make clear your intent, then its not unreasonable for them to misunderstand your actions for that of a caring friend.

Of course, that assumes you're looking for an emotionally and physically reciprocated relationship. If you just want someone to sleep with you a lot that's.. well that's something I don't really understand much and can't comment on.
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25 / F / Illinois, USA
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Posted 12/12/14
As a girl, I can admit that I have experienced both sides of friend-zoning.
Although, with said experiences, I was in turn pretty damn lucky with the ending outcome.
I did it to a guy who is actually a pretty good friend to me & has been my husband's best friend for quite a few years.
Then not to long after, it happened to me by the guy who is actually my husband.
Later on after finally realizing that I had done that to my now friend, I felt horrible & couldn't believe that I had done such a thing.
Yet at the same time, I was, & still am, happy that nothing became of us in that way. Cause if I had dated him - & believe me, I had thought about it - I probably wouldn't have ended up in the great relationship that my husband & I have had for so long.
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21 / M / Alabama, USA
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Posted 12/12/14 , edited 12/12/14
The way I see the friendzone, is something that recently happened to me. There was a girl I like, and she knew it, and I never said anything for the longest time. I was a pussy because I was scared of rejection, yadda yadda. There were a few times when I tried to tell her how I felt, and succeeded a few times, but I horrible with being direct with things, so I feel extremely uncomfortable asking "will you got out with me" etc. When I did tell her my feelings it was like a loop where I didn't know anymore than what I started with. She just kinda avoided stating anything or hinting at all. I asked her to prom, which was a big step for me, but later on she said she couldn't because her mom wouldn't let her or something. But she never directly turned me down, so most of the time I was confused. It took a long time for me to move on, because no matter what people say, it's not as easy as "okay I'm done". I don't know if she was intentionally keeping me like that, but that's what it is in my opinion. The fact she wouldn't never tell me anything on her side, was extremely confusing so it was like a wild goose chase.

What I don't believe is a friend-zone, is when you ask someone out and they reject you, yet you still do things for them and expect it to change. That's your own damn fault if you stay like that when she clearly rejected you. It just bothers me when they won't give you a clear answer, because when you really like someone you do stay holding on for a chance.

Although, even with unclear answers, if they don't give you one and avoid it, I suppose it's obvious they don't like you or don't know themselves and you should probably move on, but that takes a lot of will power that a lot of people don't have, myself included.
Posted 12/12/14
i'm gonna friendzone the friendzone topic..too many of these floating around.

this zone of friends does not exist, but the unfriend zone does
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23 / M / Apple Valley, CA
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Posted 12/13/14
The friend zone isn't a real thing. Get over it. You'll understand eventually.
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F / CA
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Posted 12/13/14

Shepard2453 wrote:

The way I see the friendzone, is something that recently happened to me. There was a girl I like, and she knew it, and I never said anything for the longest time. I was a pussy because I was scared of rejection, yadda yadda. There were a few times when I tried to tell her how I felt, and succeeded a few times, but I horrible with being direct with things, so I feel extremely uncomfortable asking "will you got out with me" etc. When I did tell her my feelings it was like a loop where I didn't know anymore than what I started with. She just kinda avoided stating anything or hinting at all. I asked her to prom, which was a big step for me, but later on she said she couldn't because her mom wouldn't let her or something. But she never directly turned me down, so most of the time I was confused. It took a long time for me to move on, because no matter what people say, it's not as easy as "okay I'm done". I don't know if she was intentionally keeping me like that, but that's what it is in my opinion. The fact she wouldn't never tell me anything on her side, was extremely confusing so it was like a wild goose chase.

What I don't believe is a friend-zone, is when you ask someone out and they reject you, yet you still do things for them and expect it to change. That's your own damn fault if you stay like that when she clearly rejected you. It just bothers me when they won't give you a clear answer, because when you really like someone you do stay holding on for a chance.

Although, even with unclear answers, if they don't give you one and avoid it, I suppose it's obvious they don't like you or don't know themselves and you should probably move on, but that takes a lot of will power that a lot of people don't have, myself included.


words in bold= Truest words ever spoken.
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