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Can Two People Be Lovers But Not Friends?
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 12/12/14

Sogno- wrote:


mdmrn wrote:

I mean come on, how can a person not like Star Wars...seriously...


she secretly likes it and is being tsundere

Maybe. She went from hating it when we first met to finding it tolerable today. At this rate, by our 30th anniversary, she may actually say she doesn't mind Star Wars!
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35 / M / USA
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Posted 12/12/14 , edited 12/12/14
Well, I'm not sure on this one... if you are lovers that would mean you love each other... I sort of feel if you have gotten far enough along to love each other you have most likely formed a friendship that allows you to get along even if your interest are different. Now, if you asked if you can have a sexual relationship with someone without being friends then yes... I guess that would be a prostitute or a booty call. Usually not the best route to go imo...
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22 / F / Washington
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Posted 12/12/14
I really do believe you have to be friends for anything long term like a marriage. One thing people do not understand is that love is not JUST an emotion but also a commitment. You decide that this person right in front of you is the one you are going to commit too. People are way to selfish in this world today. When something doesn't work out or go their way they just throw it away. I've been together with my boyfriend for 2 years and we have had tons of fights. We have gotten angry with each other to the point we just couldn't stand it anymore but we are still together and plan to be for maybe the rest of our lives.

Can lover not be friends?
I would say no. At least not for very long... Imagine if you are building a house and the foundation is friendship right? A good foundation will keep the building up for a very long time. Well what happens if you had no foundation? It would crumble very quickly and very badly.
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27 / F / in my office
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Posted 12/12/14
can you love someone and not be friends, id say no. can you have a lover who is not your friend? well ya if by lover your reffering to someone you are having sex with. but ya to be in love you definitely have to be friends. I mean, that could depend on what you consider a friend too, but that's from my own perspective anyways.
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27 / M / ihlok
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Posted 12/12/14
imo, if you love someone, you're already friend. you don't need to befriend someone if the two or more of you are just sex buddies and as far as i know being sex buddies isn't called love. also no two people in this world are exactly alike. so you can have differences and yet you can be friends or lovers.
Posted 12/12/14 , edited 12/12/14
you know who the happily in love ones are from these replies.

you make me sick xD.

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36 / M
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Posted 12/13/14

Riesel wrote:



Good story. Doesn't mean anything in the end.


Interesting perspective (no sarcasm, I do find it interesting). The meaning I see in it, assuming my experience is not unique, is an answer to the opening question. It also means quite a bit to me subjectively. Given my odd psychological situation I never expected to be able to find someone that I could have a long term relationship with. At least you found some entertainment value in it apparently.
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Posted 12/13/14
Your lover, IMAO, should be your bestest friend, if that makes sense.
Sogno- 
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Posted 12/13/14
if u wanna be my lover

gotta git wid my friends

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24 / M / the bay
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Posted 12/13/14
if you mean love in the truest sense of the word no; however, if you mean love in a crude sense (lust and only sexual gratification) then yes.
Posted 12/13/14 , edited 12/13/14
Bump, I meant common interests. COMMON INTERESTS. It seems to work well in I don't understand What My Husband is Saying.
Posted 12/13/14

Sogno- wrote:

if u wanna be my lover

gotta git wid my friends



oh the friends in your head? xD jk

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Posted 12/13/14
Then it would be sexual most likely. Just for lust. But a relationship, any really, needs to start by being close with a bond.
Posted 12/13/14

ayesharocks wrote:

Then it would be sexual most likely. Just for lust. But a relationship, any really, needs to start by being close with a bond.


People really need to read my edits.
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Posted 12/13/14
Can love exist between two people who share no common interests? Sure. Love is basically an ascended form of devotion to someone, and people can be devoted to those with which they've little in common. Let's imagine this, for instance: I'm a runner. I run long distances, and have fun doing it. I sing cadences, I enjoy the challenge of going a little further than my legs and lungs want me to, it's fun. It's perfectly conceivable that I could be in a loving relationship with someone who huffs and puffs after climbing a single flight of stairs and hates the idea of ever becoming even a little stronger as a runner. That person could love and admire me for having so much passion for something, even if that something is a thing they themselves hate to do. And I, in turn, could feel the same way about them for something else. I'm not particularly fond of celebrity gossip, but if I had a partner who was head over heels for it then I could just as well love the fun they have while working through the juicy details of the latest buzz.
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