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Can Two People Be Lovers But Not Friends?
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22 / M
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Posted 12/13/14
Eh, it depends. You got to work out what you want the way you want.

I think the bond of friendship is different than the bond of romance, or w/e the term is. You can have both bonds with the same person, and you can also have only one type with another so I don't think there's like a tier system to it. lol.

Some friendships lasts a lifetime, while some romance...ships...(sorry I'm tired.) last only 2 weeks. At the same time, the opposite also occurs and everything else in between. Too many factors in each single case to judge one bond is greater than another, if one even is to begin with.

If I had to really summarize this entire gray area of life into one sentence, I'd hesitantly say this:

The difference between the two bonds is one of expectations.
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21 / F
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Posted 12/13/14
Love without friendship is fake love. That would be nothing more than lust.
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35 / M
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Posted 12/13/14

LalaSatalin wrote:

Love without friendship is fake love. That would be nothing more than lust.


Hate to ruin the illusion but "lovers" is a euphemism often for "fuck buddies".... >.>
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29 / M / Bullhead City, AZ
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Posted 12/13/14
You can be lovers with someone you're not friends with. A lot of couples I know are only together because they think each other is hot.

Though, a relationship built on friendship is a longer-lasting relationship than two shallow people who only want to be with the other because they're not ugly.
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22 / F / None ya business.
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Posted 12/13/14
You can do it, but the result with be a pretty crappy, worthless relationship founded on physical attraction and overall lust.

If you want a relationship that actually means something and will last a significant period of time, then the person has to be someone you trust. Someone you relate to. Someone you can go to for anything. Someone who is actually able to make you happy and whose presence and personality you actually enjoy. A friend first, but also much more than that.

7 years ago I fell in love with my best friend involuntarily. Even after all this time and after many ups and downs I'm still madly in love with him. Real love isn't a feeling, it's just a condition that persists regardless of the situation.
Posted 12/13/14
Yes, it is called "benefits" without the "friends".
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16 / F / Connecticut
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Posted 12/13/14
I don't really think common interests=equals friends. I don't really think two people can be "lovers" without being friends. If you love someone, you need to have some sort of connection with them outside of sex.
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Posted 12/13/14 , edited 12/13/14
Perhaps in a professional relationship, as in a service provider and their client... Services are rendered and fees are paid.
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 12/13/14
There are no lovers when there's no friendship.
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Posted 12/15/14 , edited 12/15/14
I would never use the word "Friendship" do describe a romantic relationship that I have with a person. To me, it's like saying that just because a truck has 4 wheels, it's the same as a car. I think there can be overlap in the two roles (lover vs friend), but they are not interchangeable. I prefer the term companion. Companionship is the romantic equivalent of friendship to me. A person with whom I share interests, life goals, and other events in life is my companion. When a person does those same things, but without romantic attachment, they are my friend. Simple to me, I guess.
Posted 12/15/14
You have to be friends. I don't see how else it would work otherwise.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 12/16/14
Well, if the 2 people share a common friend but kind of hate each other it can and will happen. It may not make sense but sometimes hate can be as strong an emotion as love when lust or loneliness gets involved.
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24 / M / 風の山
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Posted 12/16/14 , edited 12/16/14
it isn't the first time that a relationship is developed purely on lust and lasted only on that, and to them it is as real as any love can be.

it is simple to think of it as a contract, why are you entering that contract, what do you get out of it and what does the other person get out of it.

basically its all about expectations, whether its a step up or not is how you take it to be.
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