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Post Reply Adopting someone of the opposite gender
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F / Pennsylvania
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Posted 1/5/15 , edited 1/5/15
I haven't really done any research on this but if i'm not mistaken you aren't allowed to adopt a child unless your in a relationship/married right? like basically you can't be single and adopt a child? But i thought i saw that before >_< anyway. My real question is what do you think of a single person male or female adopting a child of the opposite sex. I think if i was to adopted a child i'd do that. but i think people would think i was weird or something.
then again sadly think that applies more towards men, because "men are monsters" apparently (i dont believe this last part but that's how people act)
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 1/5/15 , edited 1/5/15
First, adoption laws vary depending on where you live but, generally speaking - single people can adopt. In most of the US single people, gay couples, etc can adopt. So...yes, it's allowed.

Second, I don't know. If a single person wanted to adopt due to a true desire to be a parent, more power to them. If there's any other reason to adopt, I would question them. Same with a couple. Seriously. The only real reason I see to adopt is a true desire to parent/have and raise children. Any other reason as a primary motivator, whatever it may be, seems questionable to me. Doesn't mean it's wrong, doesn't mean they'd make bad parents, just means - I question their motives.
Posted 1/5/15
Let us take it to an extreme. Say -- an extremely wealthy single celebrity wanted to adopt a child of the opposite gender. Surely, most would be fine with that? They have the funds to almost guarantee a good life for the kid and they are in the spotlight - surely it is fine?

I'd be fine with it, obviously with initial evaluation and unscheduled (but routine) checks to see if things are well. Yes, even my answer shows the bias of many people.

Good for you - I'd assume a guy being raised by a girl would be great. I don't know how the culture would switch from now until they are grown up though - perhaps mean manly-men would be dominate then (right now, I'd say it is the opposite unless you're the bar scene type of person).


Lastly - what of the gay community? Would it seem more normal a homosexual male to adopt a girl or a boy? I wonder if public bias would be more okay with the opposite gender adoption for that case. Either way, if the parent is a good person I'd assume things would work out.

Note: I know nothing of the actual rules on these issues. Just saying my opinion --- I'd assume it would be fine if the parent was responsible, ect. Legal parts of it, are another matter. Also - I'm pro-adoption. The reason I think more check ups are important if a single parent could is because --- in a couple the two can potentially keep each other in check (I'm aware that there are cases where both are bad, but whatever).
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25 / M / United States
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Posted 1/5/15


I agree largely with what was stated above me ^^ but for the same token I think what constitutes "parenting" is going to drastically vary among individuals. I have plenty of friends who had worthless parents that wouldn't know how to parent their way out of a nursery on both extremes; from caring too little about their kid, to being far over-protective of their kid. I would be wary to adopt a baby as a single parent, but I think if you adopted an older child, perhaps a child between 5-10 that was young, but still had a vague understanding of what was going on, you could make singular adoption more manageable. I would venture to say that any single person looking into adoption is doing it for companionship and out of loneliness, not to say that the child's well being isn't in mind, but there will always be various motivating factors! I don't think single adoption would be made a big deal unless it is as you said, a 40 year old male adopting a 14 year old female, then rumors will fly.
Posted 1/5/15
I took time to look it up from the minutes since posting.

You should be fine. The requirements look good if you are a hard worker (successful) and since you're female. Agencies have a bias against single men as you suggested.


Still ----------- I wonder if two friends, opposite sexes, are allowed to adopt a kid together. I wonder what they'd do with that - or if they'd see it as a different kind of broken household. Anyways, best of luck - things look good for you (username aside, lol [I noticed it, I just assumed you'd grow out of that whenever you adopt so I didn't bring it up]).
Posted 1/5/15 , edited 1/5/15

brojoe44 wrote:

Judging on your username I don't think children should be near you. If anything try to get your life sorted out before attempting to add another life onto that.





kawaiisugiru wrote:

I took time to look it up from the minutes since posting.

You should be fine. The requirements look good if you are a hard worker (successful) and since you're female. Agencies have a bias against single men as you suggested.


Still ----------- I wonder if two friends, opposite sexes, are allowed to adopt a kid together. I wonder what they'd do with that - or if they'd see it as a different kind of broken household. Anyways, best of luck - things look good for you (username aside, lol [I noticed it, I just assumed you'd grow out of that whenever you adopt so I didn't bring it up]).


Just thought I would point out that, from what I have read, it doesn't seem like she is actually trying or even really thinking about adopting a child herself and is simply posing a question to get opinions on it.
Posted 1/5/15
You can adopt while single, as long as you have a clean history, i.e. no criminal records e.g. drink driving.

I think you also have to be above a certain income, too. And have a good record of volunteering services or humanitarian services.





Source: My faulty memory from a long time ago.


(But seriously, who the f would care if it's single parent or same sex parents adopting? At least the child now has a home, instead of being in orphanages, or getting passed around foster homes like herpes).
Posted 1/5/15

justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Just thought I would point out that, from what I have read, it doesn't seem like she is actually trying or even really thinking about adopting a child herself and is simply posing a question to get opinions on it.


I answered her as so because she "would do that" - adopt the opposite gender. Assuming she got her act together, I answered as so [I well acknowledged she isn't ready].

But thank you, I refreshed to see I was quoted so fast <3. I have nothing to do with my time to look up things for a hypothetical. Sorry for being helpful <3
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25 / M / United States
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Posted 1/5/15
Let's look at some cool Single Parent Adoption Statistics

Across the country the number of single parent placements slowly and steadily continues to increase, both in domestic and intercountry adoption. (Feigelman and Silverman, 1993)

Most single adoptive parents are female, are most likely to adopt older children than infants, and are less likely to have been a foster parent to the adopted child (Stolley, 1993)

Single parent applicants are self-selective. Most applicants have high levels of emotional maturity and high capacity for frustration, and are independent but linked to a supportive network of relatives. (Branham, 1970)

As a group, the single parent adopters of U.S. children tended to adopt "special needs" children who were older, minority, and/or handicapped children. (Feigelman and Silverman, 1997)

In a study undertaken by the Los Angeles Department of Adoptions, researchers found that single parents tended to have more difficulties in completing their adoptions. Thirty-nine percent had made three or more previous attempts to adopt, compared to only 18 percent among the couples. (Feigelman and Silverman, 1997)

In 1983, Feigelman and Silverman recontacted 60% of the single-parent respondents from their earlier study in 1977. Six years after the initial study, the adjustment of children raised by single parents remained similar to that of children raised by adoptive couples. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)

Groze and Rosenthal conducted a study that reports on the responses from parents in three midwestern states who had finalized their adoption of a special-needs child before 1988. The sample included 122 single-parents and 651 two-parent families. Researchers found that comparisons of single-parent homes to two-parent homes showed that children in single-parent families experienced fewer problems. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)

In the same study, research found that single-parent families were more likely than two-parent families to evaluate the adoption's impact as being very positive. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)
Posted 1/5/15

kawaiisugiru wrote:


justanotherguy_2005 wrote:


Just thought I would point out that, from what I have read, it doesn't seem like she is actually trying or even really thinking about adopting a child herself and is simply posing a question to get opinions on it.


I answered her as so because she "would do that" - adopt the opposite gender. Assuming she got her act together, I answered as so [I well acknowledged she isn't ready].

But thank you, I refreshed to see I was quoted so fast <3. I have nothing to do with my time to look up things for a hypothetical. Sorry for being helpful <3


Right. I was pointing it out because since she isn't saying she was adopting that comments on her personal readiness to adopt were not necessary and could really only cause conflict like it has with the other user.
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Posted 1/5/15

Shishiku wrote:

Let's look at some cool Single Parent Adoption Statistics

Across the country the number of single parent placements slowly and steadily continues to increase, both in domestic and intercountry adoption. (Feigelman and Silverman, 1993)

Most single adoptive parents are female, are most likely to adopt older children than infants, and are less likely to have been a foster parent to the adopted child (Stolley, 1993)

Single parent applicants are self-selective. Most applicants have high levels of emotional maturity and high capacity for frustration, and are independent but linked to a supportive network of relatives. (Branham, 1970)

As a group, the single parent adopters of U.S. children tended to adopt "special needs" children who were older, minority, and/or handicapped children. (Feigelman and Silverman, 1997)

In a study undertaken by the Los Angeles Department of Adoptions, researchers found that single parents tended to have more difficulties in completing their adoptions. Thirty-nine percent had made three or more previous attempts to adopt, compared to only 18 percent among the couples. (Feigelman and Silverman, 1997)

In 1983, Feigelman and Silverman recontacted 60% of the single-parent respondents from their earlier study in 1977. Six years after the initial study, the adjustment of children raised by single parents remained similar to that of children raised by adoptive couples. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)

Groze and Rosenthal conducted a study that reports on the responses from parents in three midwestern states who had finalized their adoption of a special-needs child before 1988. The sample included 122 single-parents and 651 two-parent families. Researchers found that comparisons of single-parent homes to two-parent homes showed that children in single-parent families experienced fewer problems. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)

In the same study, research found that single-parent families were more likely than two-parent families to evaluate the adoption's impact as being very positive. (Groze and Rosenthal, 1991)


A serious and scientific answer to her original question. Thank you. Do you have any more current statistics available?
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25 / M / United States
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Posted 1/5/15




I wish I did, but I only pulled a few journal articles to use for this. Here is a link to a vast search of journal articles related to the field of adoption though; not all of these are single parent adoptions, a lot of these dive into homosexual adoption (as has been the focus of study the last decade), but there still are some single parent studies thrown in throughout the results! http://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&q=single+parent+adoption&btnG=&as_sdt=1%2C36&as_sdtp=
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