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Post Reply CHUCK NORRIS FACTS
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Posted 2/3/08
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.
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Posted 2/3/08
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

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Posted 2/3/08
The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
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If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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Posted 2/3/08
What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? ... His shoe
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Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
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Posted 2/3/08
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Hell was That?"

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Posted 2/3/08
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths
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The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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Posted 2/3/08
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

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Posted 2/3/08
According to the Encyclopedia Brittanica, the Native American "Trail of Tears" has been redefined as anywhere that Chuck Norris walks
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Posted 2/3/08
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Posted 2/3/08
Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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