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"If he cheats with you he'll cheat on you" do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 1/15/15 , edited 1/15/15

Bright_Light7 wrote:

I disagree.

Being a guy I think that the reason a man will cheat is because he's unhappy and usually looking for a quick fix or not man enough to admit he's unhappy.

If he cheats with you, it could mean something about the girl itself or it could mean the fact that said girl is just a "quick fix".

It's a valid statement to say "If he cheats with you, he could cheat on you"
It's a invalid statement to say "If he cheats with you, he will cheat on you"


That fix is perfect

I fully agree with the fixed one, but I also don't give cheaters the time of day, they get no sympathy from me. You'd probably sooner find more mercy from an executioner.
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29 / M / Bullhead City, AZ
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Posted 1/15/15

serifsansserif wrote:


jeanius- wrote:

I believe it, but it also applies to women too.



Febelas wrote:

I agree with the sentiment which is that if someone does it once then they're capable of doing it again. It's meant to convey that you should be aware of the type of personality they're demonstrating, and you should know that if your relationship ends up at a similar point then they're comfortable going behind your back.

Basically it's the same as most relationship advice which is to genuinely look at the person you're interested in rather than idolizing them and assuming they can do no wrong. It's also a good setup for a potential "Told you so" down the road.


I agree with both of these statements.

It's also not that fucking hard to break up with someone if you found someone else.

I found that I was falling in love once with someone while with someone else, and after I confessed (not planned, nor was the falling in love part), I told my current girlfriend at the time about it and that I had to end it. It wasn't painless for the person I broke up with,but they deserved to know and they deserved to know sooner rather than later.

There's no excuse to be seeing one person when you have found a new person. End that shit ASAP.
Cheaters don't have the strength to be honest, or they are gaming the system. That's not a personality type I want to be around.

On the other hand, I will admit, cheating is far more common these days, and emotional cheating versus physical cheating, emotional cheating can be far worse (and I was unaware in my previous example that I was walking down the road towards emotionally cheating in my example), and far more prevalent (and one form of cheating tends to lead to the other), so that kinda makes a statement about what is going on in most relationships perhaps? but... There's just no damned viable excuse.

And why the fuck are you going after a person that's taken? Isn't that kinda low in and of itself? What's wrong with the single people out there? Is being someone's piece on the side really all you are worth? SMH.


I agree. If you aren't happy with the person you're with then get rid of him/her, don't cheat and turn them into a backup. That's what whores do.
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27 / M / ihlok
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Posted 1/15/15
90% agree
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 1/15/15
There's a possibility there but it isn't set in stone. Cheating really depends on the circumstances that the person is put in and their overall feelings about the relationship. It isn't necessarily about people in general, it's just about that one person they're dating/engaged/married to in that moment.

I cheated once before. I was in an ongoing relationship where the person I was dating ended up being long distance, but he didn't bother to talk to me besides when we were both on WoW. Before that when he was out here everything was fine, we saw each other often and talked a lot outside of that. But after he went through basic training (he went into the air force), he didn't really talk to me much. He was always on PSN and always on WoW outside of when he was working, but he hardly made much contact, and it got increasingly less over time. I couldn't get contact with him and I was feeling pretty down, so I ended up having moved on during a two week period where I heard nothing at all from him. Broke it off when I could, but I technically was 'cheating' before that since we were still supposedly together.

I find that from a girls' side, if they don't get the attention they want or need, then they're more likely to cheat. From a guy's side, if they don't get the physical contact they want or need, they're more likely to cheat. Really it could all be rectified of course by talking it out and making sure your needs are met, but communication is often a thing that is lacking - especially if it's over six months into a relationship when that initial burst of lust has waned. It doesn't make it right to cheat, but it does make it more understandable in some situations. I'm unforgiving in a lot of others though, but I've dated people that have cheated in the past that didn't cheat on me (they grew up and realized communication was important and they told me when they weren't interested any longer instead of finding another vagina for the night), and I've cheated before but haven't since then.

Really it's all a gray area, but just because they have before doesn't mean they will again. And likewise just because they cheated with you doesn't mean they will cheat on you.
Posted 1/15/15

serifsansserif wrote:


jeanius- wrote:

I believe it, but it also applies to women too.



Febelas wrote:

I agree with the sentiment which is that if someone does it once then they're capable of doing it again. It's meant to convey that you should be aware of the type of personality they're demonstrating, and you should know that if your relationship ends up at a similar point then they're comfortable going behind your back.

Basically it's the same as most relationship advice which is to genuinely look at the person you're interested in rather than idolizing them and assuming they can do no wrong. It's also a good setup for a potential "Told you so" down the road.


I agree with both of these statements.

It's also not that fucking hard to break up with someone if you found someone else.

I found that I was falling in love once with someone while with someone else, and after I confessed (not planned, nor was the falling in love part), I told my current girlfriend at the time about it and that I had to end it. It wasn't painless for the person I broke up with,but they deserved to know and they deserved to know sooner rather than later.

There's no excuse to be seeing one person when you have found a new person. End that shit ASAP.
Cheaters don't have the strength to be honest, or they are gaming the system. That's not a personality type I want to be around.

On the other hand, I will admit, cheating is far more common these days, and emotional cheating versus physical cheating, emotional cheating can be far worse (and I was unaware in my previous example that I was walking down the road towards emotionally cheating in my example), and far more prevalent (and one form of cheating tends to lead to the other), so that kinda makes a statement about what is going on in most relationships perhaps? but... There's just no damned viable excuse.

And why the fuck are you going after a person that's taken? Isn't that kinda low in and of itself? What's wrong with the single people out there? Is being someone's piece on the side really all you are worth? SMH.

There's plenty of reasons why a cheater might not break up with someone. I don't think it's good to generalize cheaters. It's like murder, there are plenty of reasons why we would want someone to be killed. The same can't be said of rape, which is committed usually for selfish reasons.

In other words, I try to keep an open mind for the exceptions of the world. I believe love can exist between people who are cheating. School Days basically revolves around this trope that cheating isn't primarily sexual in nature.


The question I pose is, can one cheat out of love?
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Posted 1/15/15

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

There's plenty of reasons why a cheater might not break up with someone. I don't think it's good to generalize cheaters. It's like murder, there are plenty of reasons why we would want someone to be killed. The same can't be said of rape, which is committed usually for selfish reasons.

In other words, I try to keep an open mind for the exceptions of the world. I believe love can exist between people who are cheating. School Days basically revolves around this trope that cheating isn't primarily sexual in nature.


The question I pose is, can one cheat out of love?


You know you're saying murder and cheating can be ok, but rape is not.....

not touching the rape part with a ten foot pole here (to me, they're all fairly morally irreprehensible), but just trying to figure out the whole logic around this....

"Ending someone's life can be ok... Breaking someone's heart and trust in relationships as well as their faith the opposite sex can be ok, but make sure you have a ten page contract before you have sex mmmmkay?" O.o''

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Posted 1/15/15

jeanius- wrote:


serifsansserif wrote:


jeanius- wrote:

I believe it, but it also applies to women too.



Febelas wrote:

I agree with the sentiment which is that if someone does it once then they're capable of doing it again. It's meant to convey that you should be aware of the type of personality they're demonstrating, and you should know that if your relationship ends up at a similar point then they're comfortable going behind your back.

Basically it's the same as most relationship advice which is to genuinely look at the person you're interested in rather than idolizing them and assuming they can do no wrong. It's also a good setup for a potential "Told you so" down the road.


I agree with both of these statements.

It's also not that fucking hard to break up with someone if you found someone else.

I found that I was falling in love once with someone while with someone else, and after I confessed (not planned, nor was the falling in love part), I told my current girlfriend at the time about it and that I had to end it. It wasn't painless for the person I broke up with,but they deserved to know and they deserved to know sooner rather than later.

There's no excuse to be seeing one person when you have found a new person. End that shit ASAP.
Cheaters don't have the strength to be honest, or they are gaming the system. That's not a personality type I want to be around.

On the other hand, I will admit, cheating is far more common these days, and emotional cheating versus physical cheating, emotional cheating can be far worse (and I was unaware in my previous example that I was walking down the road towards emotionally cheating in my example), and far more prevalent (and one form of cheating tends to lead to the other), so that kinda makes a statement about what is going on in most relationships perhaps? but... There's just no damned viable excuse.

And why the fuck are you going after a person that's taken? Isn't that kinda low in and of itself? What's wrong with the single people out there? Is being someone's piece on the side really all you are worth? SMH.


I agree. If you aren't happy with the person you're with then get rid of him/her, don't cheat and turn them into a backup. That's what whores do.


that's true ^ but now a days people are too fucking stupid to do that....thus we have whores in this world
Posted 1/15/15 , edited 1/15/15

serifsansserif wrote:


PeripheralVisionary wrote:

There's plenty of reasons why a cheater might not break up with someone. I don't think it's good to generalize cheaters. It's like murder, there are plenty of reasons why we would want someone to be killed. The same can't be said of rape, which is committed usually for selfish reasons.

In other words, I try to keep an open mind for the exceptions of the world. I believe love can exist between people who are cheating. School Days basically revolves around this trope that cheating isn't primarily sexual in nature.


The question I pose is, can one cheat out of love?


You know you're saying murder and cheating can be ok, but rape is not.....




Depends, I saw a Law and Order episode where a man raped a man that raped his daughter. I'm not in favor of vigilante justice, and believe a crime is still a crime, but I also believe the reason needs to be examined and taken into consideration.


I'm not a moral absolutist like Seryu Ubiquitous from Akame Ga Kill.
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Posted 1/15/15
I disagree.. I think that often enough situations like this are more complicated than can be reduced to one statement. It's a fair statement to live by though.

Though, my view could partially come from the fact that if I were cheated on, I'd want my partner to stay with the person they cheated on me with, even after we broke up. It'd hurt enough that they'd cheated on me, but I think more if I found out that it was just a fling, or that it didn't last, even after all that drama etc.

But yeah, people have their own reasons for doing things.
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35 / M
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Posted 1/15/15

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Depends, I saw a Law and Order episode where a man raped a man that raped his daughter. I'm not in favor of vigilante justice, and believe a crime is still a crime, but I also believe the reason needs to be examined and taken into consideration.


I'm not a moral absolutist like Seryu Ubiquitous from Akame Ga Kill.


Nah, I'm not a moral absolutist either, but I think it's necessary for the law to have checks and balances rather than a soft heart. I mean, cheating is a moral issue anyhow, rather than a lawful one, and in general I'm far more pragmatic than I like to admit. Murder someone for the greater good? Sure. No problem. But that's where the pragmatic me takes over, and hides that shit as well, so the more "ideal" me (public image) can try to change people for the better (because everyone tries to make the preacher the example. and the idea of a pristine public image is a pragmatic decision too.)... Hahaha.. even that makes me sound like a hypocritical monster I suppose.

Point is, I don't really care about cheating, murder, rape etc as it affects me. I have the capability for all, and prefer never to have to do them. I live pragmatically but try to hold to greater ideals. I feel like most people, instead, would rather be right than honest, and perform logistical and linguistic gymnastics to always be on the side of justness and goodness, rather than own up to the fact that they do things that they themselves find morally irreprehensible in others.

Even this subject of cheating for example, I mean if they were the one being cheated on, I'm sure they'd have a long list of names and other unkind words to describe the people who cheated on them. And the person who they were cheated on with... Ouch.

But in your question, you would be "the other man/woman" and the person you are swearing will NEVER cheat out you is the the lying cheating sack of shit in the first example.

I'm just asking for consistency.
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Posted 1/15/15
I can attest that Once a cheater, always a cheater isn't necessarily true. From personal experience and my own attitudes
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23 / M / ᴀᴍɪᴅsᴛ ʙᴀᴛᴛʟᴇ
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Posted 1/15/15


_Duh If he's cheating with you he's already cheating on you with the woman he previously cheated on. _Duh

On the flip side his chances of cheating are _InsanelyHighNumericValue% greater than that of a faithful man.
On another side of the coin, if he just had greater feels towards that woman he might actually not need another slice of cake.

The only point that matters though is that if you cheat you suck and if you got cheated on that sucks and you should try to rip one of their legs off but if you can't just keep on groovin' on, process of elimination, one cheater down. Next.
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17 / M / Crimson Mage Village
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Posted 1/15/15

The Coolidge effect is a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners.

-courtesy of Wikipedia-sensei.


Although experiments have been limited to mostly rodents, I'd say this can apply to humans as well, no?
...Just the psychological aspect, I mean.
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28 / M / Seattle
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Posted 1/15/15 , edited 1/15/15
Yup, I cheated on my ex-wife years ago. Haven't cheated on anyone else I've been with since then
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28 / M / wv
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Posted 1/15/15
Yes and No, I do feel like there is a much greater chance for a cheater to remain a cheater but at the same time people cheat for a lot of reasons and those change or go away with time or the right person.
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