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"If he cheats with you he'll cheat on you" do you agree or disagree with this statement?
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22 / F / None ya business.
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Posted 1/15/15

serifsansserif wrote:


jeanius- wrote:

I believe it, but it also applies to women too.



Febelas wrote:

I agree with the sentiment which is that if someone does it once then they're capable of doing it again. It's meant to convey that you should be aware of the type of personality they're demonstrating, and you should know that if your relationship ends up at a similar point then they're comfortable going behind your back.

Basically it's the same as most relationship advice which is to genuinely look at the person you're interested in rather than idolizing them and assuming they can do no wrong. It's also a good setup for a potential "Told you so" down the road.


I agree with both of these statements.

It's also not that fucking hard to break up with someone if you found someone else.

I found that I was falling in love once with someone while with someone else, and after I confessed (not planned, nor was the falling in love part), I told my current girlfriend at the time about it and that I had to end it. It wasn't painless for the person I broke up with,but they deserved to know and they deserved to know sooner rather than later.

There's no excuse to be seeing one person when you have found a new person. End that shit ASAP.
Cheaters don't have the strength to be honest, or they are gaming the system. That's not a personality type I want to be around.

On the other hand, I will admit, cheating is far more common these days, and emotional cheating versus physical cheating, emotional cheating can be far worse (and I was unaware in my previous example that I was walking down the road towards emotionally cheating in my example), and far more prevalent (and one form of cheating tends to lead to the other), so that kinda makes a statement about what is going on in most relationships perhaps? but... There's just no damned viable excuse.

And why the fuck are you going after a person that's taken? Isn't that kinda low in and of itself? What's wrong with the single people out there? Is being someone's piece on the side really all you are worth? SMH.


This. There's no excuse for something so easily fixable. If you would rather be with someone else, close one door before you open another. Learn to handle yourself responsibly instead of creating unnecessary situations.

God forbid you simply be honest to those you try to be in a relationship with, right?

While the situation may vary between relationships and not guarantee that a past cheater will cheat in every relationship, the saying pretty much exists as a caution. This person's shown already that they're willing and able to cheat. There is a chance that they will again.

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27 / M / TX
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Posted 1/15/15
I would agree with the statement for both genders, it only takes a little bit of doubt and both parties would bring that up whenever they have a fight. Seen it happen way to much to care. I will lend an ear but don't expect me to take sides.
If you want out then talk to each other, take care of your business then make a clean break for those in abusive relationship call the cops and stay away once your out. Personally if I know she was with someone I wouldn't let myself fall for her seriously.
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27 / M
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Posted 1/15/15
I'd say it's 50-50. I knew some people who were unfaithful once and they didn't do it again, and I knew some people who slept around behind their partners back. But honestly, stay faithful with the one who you are with; but if your girlfriend/boyfriend has been unfaithful, it's better to cut all ties with them.
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30 / M / In a world that d...
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Posted 1/15/15
That expression applies to both genders, but I'm in the camp that saying will is a bit much. I would say "likely" but definitely not "will."
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F / San Francisco
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Posted 1/15/15
I think people have their reasons for cheating. While a lot of it does boil down to more selfish reasons like "I wanted to bang them", I think a good portion is done because either people are not completely honest with their significant other before marriage or they change so significantly that they're not who you fell in love with. And while it's easy to recommend therapy or divorce, those are not always feasible. Som people are just so anti-therapy that you can't force them to go no matter what.
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25 / M / NYC Metro Area
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Posted 1/15/15
Agreed. See it all the time. Cheaters are always going to cheat.
Sogno- 
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Posted 1/15/15

serifsansserif wrote:


jeanius- wrote:

I believe it, but it also applies to women too.



Febelas wrote:

I agree with the sentiment which is that if someone does it once then they're capable of doing it again. It's meant to convey that you should be aware of the type of personality they're demonstrating, and you should know that if your relationship ends up at a similar point then they're comfortable going behind your back.

Basically it's the same as most relationship advice which is to genuinely look at the person you're interested in rather than idolizing them and assuming they can do no wrong. It's also a good setup for a potential "Told you so" down the road.


I agree with both of these statements.

It's also not that fucking hard to break up with someone if you found someone else.

I found that I was falling in love once with someone while with someone else, and after I confessed (not planned, nor was the falling in love part), I told my current girlfriend at the time about it and that I had to end it. It wasn't painless for the person I broke up with,but they deserved to know and they deserved to know sooner rather than later.

There's no excuse to be seeing one person when you have found a new person. End that shit ASAP.
Cheaters don't have the strength to be honest, or they are gaming the system. That's not a personality type I want to be around.

On the other hand, I will admit, cheating is far more common these days, and emotional cheating versus physical cheating, emotional cheating can be far worse (and I was unaware in my previous example that I was walking down the road towards emotionally cheating in my example), and far more prevalent (and one form of cheating tends to lead to the other), so that kinda makes a statement about what is going on in most relationships perhaps? but... There's just no damned viable excuse.

And why the fuck are you going after a person that's taken? Isn't that kinda low in and of itself? What's wrong with the single people out there? Is being someone's piece on the side really all you are worth? SMH.


post so full of win i bolded parts i thought really, you know, make common sense


Akage-chan wrote:

I think people have their reasons for cheating.


yes and i can tell you their reason: they are douchebags
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54 / M / Tacoma, WA. wind...
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Posted 1/15/15
"If he cheats with you he'll cheat on you."
Every one I have ever known has proven this to be true. It just takes longer for some.
Also you can change the "he" to "she" and I've still had the same experience.

You mileage may vary.

I used to think that it wasn't true but . . . .

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Posted 1/15/15
I agree, but only because I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever been in. It'll take the right person to get someone to settle down. Until they find that person, being in a relationship is a meaningless commitment.
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28 / M / NC
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Posted 1/15/15

TripleBakaKimidori wrote:


The Coolidge effect is a phenomenon seen in mammalian species whereby males (and to a lesser extent females) exhibit renewed sexual interest if introduced to new receptive sexual partners, even after refusing sex from prior but still available sexual partners.

-courtesy of Wikipedia-sensei.


Although experiments have been limited to mostly rodents, I'd say this can apply to humans as well, no?
...Just the psychological aspect, I mean.


This is such a real thing it's not even funny
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M / Midwest
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Posted 1/16/15

oodain wrote:


itzbeaver


elaborate?


on which part?

if you mean the last sentence then i think that the concept of cheating is too broad and as such the statement presented by the OP, while sounding fancy, is too broad for there to be any real meaning behind it, also why i qualified my first sentence with the second.


i was referring to the first sentence, and id like to see how you view relationships with your mindset lol
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22 / M / Texas
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Posted 1/16/15 , edited 1/16/15
I think cheating says something about a person's character. That so long as it is an advantage to that person, they would sooner lie than be honest.

"If he/she cheats with you he/she'll cheat on you." Many axioms and proverbs say things in this manner. They present an extreme which gives light to a general truth. That is to say, it is primarily true, but not always.

I myself wouldn't give the time of day to someone I knew had cheated, especially if they had intended to cheat with me. The whole thing is relationships have to have trust. Cheating is a pretty obvious break of that trust and reflects on the cheater's obviously poor character. Not saying don't forgive somebody. Just saying be wary of people who would sacrifice their character rather then do the right thing.
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26 / M
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Posted 1/18/15

itzbeaver


i was referring to the first sentence, and id like to see how you view relationships with your mindset lol


i dont know if you misunderstand or if you think that there are people who have never, in any way shape or form cheated another person, i used the second sentence to specifically state i was not talking solely about romance or sex here.

which is why it becomes pointless it should be blindingly obvious that something we all do isnt something that leads to anything that would fit specific groups, i am not justifying anything here, just saying there is flawed logic.

all of the above is somewhat tongue in cheek as the whole underlying point is that this is complicated, so trying to cover it in a single word "cheating" becomes very hard and often laden with mistake or miscommunication.

how i look at relationships is again quite general, romance?, family?, friends?, buisness partner?, client? random person on the internet who wonders how i think about relationships?

the latter i clearly care about more than my last exam as proven by such a lengthy response

if all you want to know and care about is the first five then good luck, to me that is still too general, i dont know the person in this hypothetical relationship much less the relationship that forms between us, how can i form an opinion on something that itself is unformed?
havent had two relationships that worked the same, romance or not.

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Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15
I disagree. I know someone who cheated on her boyfriend with a friend of mine. They have lived together 7 years and are getting married soon. People do things for lots of different reasons. People make mistakes, mature and become better for it. There are no hard rules about this stuff.
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Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15
Well, if he's already cheating with you, he's also technically cheating on you, isn't he?

... I think I'm over-analyzing this.

I don't trust anybody once they cheated, even if it wasn't on me. It just shows that they're very dishonest people. I believe people can change, yes, but I do not know one single cheater who has changed. And that's quite a few people I stopped associating myself with.
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