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Post Reply You aren't protective enough. Do you even care?
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27 / M
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Posted 3/10/16 , edited 3/10/16
There's a difference between being protective and being unreasonably jealous. I'm not really the jealous type, but I'll do things like pick her up from the airport and make sure she's had enough sleep and make her a meal to take with her if she's planning a long drive somewhere. Stuff like that. If she wants to hang out with some guy friends, I'm fine with that, but if she is planning to hang out with someone who is obviously interested in her and trying to get her to go out and drink, that might raise my eyebrows.
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16 / F
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Posted 3/10/16
No and I don't really seek for a relationship right now because of all the troubles it brings!
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Posted 3/10/16
me personally im an a female who loves her freedom. like you somewhat stated if i have to check my mans phone, facebook or who he's out with then theyre not worth it. but talking out of personal experience ive been in relationships that i've been closely monitored and its one very big reason why i dumped both of them! i didnt enjoy having my phone taken from me. constant questions and breathing over my shoulder when talk to someone. i wasnt allowed to talk to a male not even if they were my own cousin. it was completely stupid and a waste of time.

so in my opinion if your not protective do you even care? you dont need to be that type of "protective" to show you care or not. but maybe if someone who threatening to harm your girlfriend/boyfriend then thats when being protective could show rather you care or not.
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Posted 3/10/16 , edited 3/10/16
Sounds more like possessive is what you are describing.

But I do care. But invasion of privacy is not my thing.

I think the protective part needs to only be shown when your friends are looking at your girlfriend in a way they shouldn't be. Or, and I have seen this, a random guy tries to have a conversation with your girlfriend right in front of you. Saw an old friend do this, girls boyfriend was a hair away from beating the daylights ought of him but the girl chewed out my friend instead and called him a creeper lol. Sometimes it's best to let the girl protect herself, sometimes the guy must step in. Who's to say when either should be protective? I don't know.
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Posted 3/10/16

kyuoki wrote:
I'd prefer second option
there is no option

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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 3/10/16

lxmarshall wrote:


lilliputian_otaku wrote:

So another thread reminded me of my past relationships, and got me wondering about a curious question. Do you have to be fairly protective to show affection these days?

I've never been the protective type. At all. If I have to check my girlfriend's phone and know where she is at all times she isn't worth keeping around. For the most part, I'll let my significant other go out with whoever she wants, as long as she isn't getting mixed up with a bad crowd. I have no intention of checking her phone, Facebook, or whatever else. I don't mind if she has guy friends, as long as they are only friends. Any girl I date is allowed to be her own person and live her life.

With this approach, you may have guessed that most of my relationships, ranging from a few months to two years, have ended with a girl cheating on me and more or less claiming that I am not protective enough. This isn't as consistent as I make it sound, and only once has it been the actual reason why a (very brief) relationship failed.

I am curious. Do you enjoy being tied down, closely monitored, and not trusted? I can understand where concern to an extent is appreciated and necessary. If your partner unexpectedly stays out late, it's only natural to be a bit concerned, or seriously worried depending on the circumstances. But why should a girl, or a guy, have to be locked down to keep a relationship going? Talk about not knowing when to give up...


I see what you are saying
There is a Balance a give and take. You can't kling to a girl like plastic wrap and expect her to like/respect you.
There is a magnetic attraction in a relationship and that pull is feeling of the wholesomeness/satisfaction.
If you are stuck then there is no mutuial attraction and both of you will move on to someone else if you don't address it.
Plus there are more guys that are interested in that one mate than there are girls chasing after guys.
Life sucks I know....



No but i expect her to cling to me like plastic wrap...
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20 / M / Bundaberg, Queens...
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Posted 3/10/16

descloud wrote:

Sounds more like possessive is what you are describing.

But I do care. But invasion of privacy is not my thing.

I think the protective part needs to only be shown when your friends are looking at your girlfriend in a way they shouldn't be. Or, and I have seen this, a random guy tries to have a conversation with your girlfriend right in front of you. Saw an old friend do this, girls boyfriend was a hair away from beating the daylights ought of him but the girl chewed out my friend instead and called him a creeper lol. Sometimes it's best to let the girl protect herself, sometimes the guy must step in. Who's to say when either should be protective? I don't know.


Possessive isn't bad....unless it's unwanted.

Personally i like my partners to be possessive of me haha
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25 / F / US
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Posted 3/11/16

nanikore2 wrote:


ayaundwolf wrote:

reminds the other person you care


That's probably the real lack. I think the OP had people who didn't think he cared enough, versus people who didn't think he protected them enough.


Yeah, well it's all about moderation and communication in a relationship. I think getting to know the person first is most important. Separates potentials from everyone else, so that way you know if you're settling down with one of those you can never please. Idk that's just my approach. To each their own.
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Posted 3/11/16
The way I see it, we're both adults, we chose to be together--and stay together because there's some level of trust that doesn't need to be validated in a daily basis.
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