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"You Earn Respect, It is Not A Right", Do You Agree Or Disagree?
Posted 1/18/15
I saw a forumer known as 4Courvus once state that he hated people for demanding respect instead of earning it. I always thought it was right to be polite, but how do one earn respect? Is respect a right? Do I have the right to disrespect people who don't earn it? What gives me the right to disrespect people?

Hmmm.....
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Posted 1/18/15 , edited 2/26/15
You can be polite to someone without respecting them.

Respect is earned.
Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15
It's something built apparently. Limit is up to you.

The other person might want your respect or they might not.

Being polite is provided by way of courtesy
Cyth16 
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Posted 1/18/15
There will always be a certain amount of respect you show someone when you first meet, but after that it is up to the person to either earn respect, or lose the respect.
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Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15
I agree but at the same time disagree. You can't be disrespectful to someone you haven't given the opportunity to earn your respect. Respect is earned but everyone deserves a certain amount of inherent respect, like a benefit of doubt before they prove otherwise, and to earn deep meaningful levels of respect they need to earn it or to have zero respect need to have done something to lose this basic level of respect everyone deserves. Being treated politely is a courtesy people deserve whether or not they have earned your individual respect towards them.
Posted 1/18/15
Dear Diary, Today I learned that respect does not mean politeness.

Ty everybody, I think I just gained +1 int.
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Posted 1/18/15
Everyone should be given a modicum of respect when you initially meet them, and then as your encounter with the person goes on then you can decide whether or not they deserve more or less respect.
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Posted 1/18/15
Beast mode.

Mma fighter: "I believe that no one should live in fear. I'm not here to instill fear on a man but I'll earn your respect."

**super takamura uppercut** death
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27 / M / Long Island
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Posted 1/18/15
I agree with what some have already said, everyone deserves a certain amount of respect. After it's up to them to earn more, or show that they don't deserve anymore.
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Posted 1/18/15
Yeah, it's something you earn. But there's always a foundation for respect, like an elder. Then the amount varies depending.
Bavalt 
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Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15
I disagree. While I don't exactly equate respect with politeness (I'm polite with virtually everyone, regardless of respect), I respect people by default, and expect the same in return. While I fully support a person's right to judge other people, I do not think that having a negative view of someone gives one the right to treat that person badly, and I certainly don't believe that it's right to have every person you meet "earn" your approval. Not only is that kind of expectation self-aggrandizing, but it's also just not very viable from a practical standpoint. If you look down your nose at everyone when you first meet them, you're going to have a tougher time getting along with people. Respect is a two-way street, and personally, I have a tough time respecting people who try to play social games with me. Treating someone disdainfully until they earn your approval is basically just an attempt to artificially place yourself above them on some sort of social ladder, and that kind of arbitrary hierarchy is something most people are going to ignore or reject.

Respect begets respect. By respecting people by default, you present yourself as a more tolerant individual, whose peace of mind isn't threatened by others' presence, and who's open to constructive communication. That kind of behaviour makes other people comfortable in turn, usually ensuring that both parties leave contented, whether the interaction is trivial or serious. I feel like I can safely say that there are very few people I've met who don't respect me - maybe even none at all - and the principal cause for this is that I simply treat people like the human beings they are. As a communication strategy, it's relatively stress-free, and encourages a comfortable multilateral exchange.

While I understand that respecting someone is not the same thing as liking them, I feel like some people fallaciously conclude that the two are thus mutually exclusive, which is obviously not the case. You can respect people that you don't like or get along with, certainly, but in the end, you still don't get along, so why spend time with such a person? That sort of begrudging, cosmetic respect doesn't strike me as very relevant in most situations, except as a tool to transform the dynamic itself into something more positive and level. While I could see that being occasionally useful, it seems awfully circuitous to force someone to earn your respect (thereby making a bad first impression), then going through all the effort of cultivating positivity from there. The much more efficient route is to treat them with respect from the get-go, encouraging a friendly dynamic right away.

It isn't as if respect is inherently permanent. By choosing to respect someone, I'm not declaring that I'll respect everything they do, or even that I'll respect them despite their flaws. If someone isn't worthy of your respect, they will eventually demonstrate it. There is literally nothing stopping you from revoking it when they do. This is another simple fact that I feel some people forget. You can change your mind whenever you want. Therefore, it's better to respect by default, as it results in a more positive interaction. I don't see any downside to that approach.
Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15
If they pass the right to snoop through Facebook and Google, they'd violate principles that stem from respect..agree or disagree?
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Posted 1/18/15
I used to think it was a right of elders, as I've grown, I've realized there are a great many who are undeserving.
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Posted 1/18/15
I think everyone should have a mutual respect for each other as human beings, as in "treat others how you would want to be treated." May or may not equal "politeness" but you shouldn't treat someone else as lower than you. To me, that is a mutual respect.

Respect in an authoritative position should be earned. I have 2 bosses: One I "respect" because I have to, the other has earned my respect in every sense of the term and I work a lot harder when that boss is the one telling me to do something.
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Posted 1/18/15

Bavalt wrote:
While I understand that respecting someone is not the same thing as liking them, I feel like some people fallaciously conclude that the two are thus mutually exclusive, which is obviously not the case. You can respect people that you don't like or get along with, certainly, but in the end, you still don't get along, so why spend time with such a person? That sort of begrudging, cosmetic respect doesn't strike me as very relevant in most situations, except as a tool to transform the dynamic itself into something more positive and level. While I could see that being occasionally useful, it seems awfully circuitous to force someone to earn your respect (thereby making a bad first impression), then going through all the effort of cultivating positivity from there. The much more efficient route is to treat them with respect from the get-go, encouraging a friendly dynamic right away.


You seem to be under the impression that everyone who's saying "give them some amount of respect by default, then after that they have to earn it" believes "some amount" equals "near zero". (in this paragraph especially, imo) While this may be true for some of us, to group everyone into that mentality is every bit as discrimitive on your end as you seem to perceive the rest of us to be.

Also, from what I can gather, you have the exact same argument as everyone you're "disagreeing" with, but with "some amount" being higher than "near zero".

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting your words. Or maybe you're misunderstanding us. Either way there's definitely a misunderstanding here.
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