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"You Earn Respect, It is Not A Right", Do You Agree Or Disagree?
Bavalt 
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Posted 1/18/15 , edited 1/18/15

ryuknightalex wrote:


Bavalt wrote:
While I understand that respecting someone is not the same thing as liking them, I feel like some people fallaciously conclude that the two are thus mutually exclusive, which is obviously not the case. You can respect people that you don't like or get along with, certainly, but in the end, you still don't get along, so why spend time with such a person? That sort of begrudging, cosmetic respect doesn't strike me as very relevant in most situations, except as a tool to transform the dynamic itself into something more positive and level. While I could see that being occasionally useful, it seems awfully circuitous to force someone to earn your respect (thereby making a bad first impression), then going through all the effort of cultivating positivity from there. The much more efficient route is to treat them with respect from the get-go, encouraging a friendly dynamic right away.


You seem to be under the impression that everyone who's saying "give them some amount of respect by default, then after that they have to earn it" believes "some amount" equals "near zero". (in this paragraph especially, imo) While this may be true for some of us, to group everyone into that mentality is every bit as discrimitive on your end as you seem to perceive the rest of us to be.

Also, from what I can gather, you have the exact same argument as everyone you're "disagreeing" with, but with "some amount" being higher than "near zero".

Maybe I'm just misinterpreting your words. Or maybe you're misunderstanding us. Either way there's definitely a misunderstanding here.


That'd be it, yeah. I started writing before any of the other responses had been posted. It's the statement in the title of the topic I'm disagreeing with, not the other responses. I have a habit of letting my responses turn into short essays (hence the assertive tone as well), and was not expecting a whole bunch of people to post in between with basically the same opinion. It's just a misunderstanding.
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Posted 1/18/15

Bavalt wrote:


That'd be it, yeah. I started writing before any of the other responses had been posted. It's the statement in the title of the topic I'm disagreeing with, not the other responses. I have a habit of letting my responses turn into short essays (hence the assertive tone as well), and was not expecting a whole bunch of people to post in between with basically the same opinion. It's just a misunderstanding.

That's the problem with forum posting: sometimes your responses are "ninja'd"

Glad the misunderstanding was cleared up, at least.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 1/18/15
Both? It's pretty tricky, to me. I guess it varies according to the person/creature/object. Sometimes, automatically acting out of respect is the wiser choice. For example; not respecting a visiting monarch may end very, very badly.
JRC-jr 
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22 / M / Ohio
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Posted 1/18/15
Respect is earned, no matter what. If someone does a favor for me i'll gladly return the favor, and if i do a favor for them, they'll return the favor as well. why? because it was acknowledged as respect.
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Posted 1/18/15

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

I saw a forumer known as 4Courvus once state that he hated people for demanding respect instead of earning it.


More accurate to say the topic was "What Really Pisses You Off?" and my response was " People that demand respect instead of trying to earn it." Not a big change, but puts in a slightly different light.

And yes, you can be unfailingly polite to someone you don't respect.
Posted 1/19/15
"Treat others the way you want others to treat you."
nuff said.
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22 / M / Netherlands
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Posted 1/19/15
Everyone has my respect from the start you can only loss it! verry easly...
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36 / M
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Posted 1/19/15
There is a certain level of respect that is owed to anyone based on a customary politeness for the given culture. I generally give that until someone proves they deserve to be treated differently, one way or the other. If they earn being treated with greater respect or with less, I generally respond as is appropriate.
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15 / F
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Posted 1/19/15
I think you should earn respect. I respect everybody at first, but if they start doing things that do not deserve respect then I will not respect them.
Posted 1/19/15
I'm not sure, no matter what stuff someone may have done, my sensei always said it is appropriate to be polite in any situation.
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27 / M / Iceland
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Posted 1/19/15
I both agree and disagree with that statement. I believe that everyone deserve some form of basic respect but anything higher should be earned.
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20 / M / Vancouver Canada
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Posted 1/19/15

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

I saw a forumer known as 4Courvus once state that he hated people for demanding respect instead of earning it. I always thought it was right to be polite, but how do one earn respect? Is respect a right? Do I have the right to disrespect people who don't earn it? What gives me the right to disrespect people?

Hmmm.....


I think that there is always a minimum level of mutual respect, but after that I believe it's earned.
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33 / M / toronto ontario c...
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Posted 1/19/15
People deserve respect until they do something to lose it, ideas or beliefs etc do not deserve respect. It really is as simple and basic as that if you are a decent human being.
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23 / F / Your Cookie Jar
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Posted 1/21/15
Halfies. I give respect the moment I meet someone. I think respecting others is important and its creates peace. But if you act like an ass and is completely rude then I throw respect out the window.. unless your a customer. Just kidding, I respect someone even if they are an ass whether a customer or not. Its just not in my nature to fight.

Anyway I don't think respect should be earned, it should be already given... but if the person is still an butt hole after giving your full respect, then by all means throw respect out of the window if you want.
Posted 1/21/15
From what I can tell, there's basically two types of respect or more. Respect you give because a person is a human being and has feelings , and the other is earned.
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