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Feeling like you don't belong
Posted 1/20/15
I feel you .
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23 / F / NY
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Posted 1/20/15
This period of time at my previous colleges... like I had friends and was a part of sorority but things still felt amiss... I transferred though
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20 / F
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Posted 1/20/15
all the time to be honest
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26 / M / Wisconsin
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Posted 1/20/15
Heck ya I actually am haveing that feeling like that right now I'm planning on moving to Seattle in a couple months
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28 / M / Houma
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Posted 1/20/15
I have always felt this way for the most part (even though I defended the South on another thread) because outside of football I can't really find many common interests with the people around me. I choose to stay however because I like the environment and I love my family.

The other reason I haven't acted is because at this point I feel like I would be shifting deck chairs on the Titanic. Anywhere I potentially would like to go would be way to risky financially to pull off.
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36 / M
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Posted 1/20/15

Zachary765 wrote:

Hey guys/gals, hope your all having a swell day!

So recently I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life and future schooling. Also recently I have been getting this feeling like I just dont belong. I feel like where I live, a lot of the friends I have, etc isnt for me. All i want to do right now is move to another state and start a new life with a new job and new friends. Just something I have been thinking about here recently.

So what about you guys? Have you ever had this feeling before? If you have, have you ever acted on it and moved to start something new?



ALWAYS.

But let me tell you a little bit about myself.

I up until 6 I lived literally in the middle of nowhere on top of a mountain in the woods with the nearest neighbor literally 5 miles away. My only way of occupying myself was through playing outdoors by myself. At 6 we moved to NJ and I lived in a run down ghetto-ish town. It sucked, but it worked, At 13 I loved to where I live now. It's a small rural-ish town lots of tourists and wealthy ass ex new yorkers where everyone thinks there's a special snowflake... I went to college in a depressed steel town city in PA. I loved it. I moved back to that town when I was 20 (only did 1 year of college), and enjoyed it but no way of getting a decent job so I moved back here. I then tried to move out again when a friend said "let's move to San Fran together" He ditched me, I still went to look for something. Turned into a four day vacation. Loved the weather and the environment but hated the people. Too damned difficult to adjust as a East Coaster. (there's just something plastic and fake about the west coast somehow). Oh I forgot. I dated someone in Chicago (long distance) so I had considered moving out there with her, but it didn't work out and yeah.. Each time I would raise up a good nest egg and attempt the great escape. Each time I failed, mainly due to finding work or money.

I currently work locally and have a telecommuted job of sorts part time in NYC. I also have traveled to Boston on a whim to visit a friend that had moved back when she couldn't make it out here. Both at one point were musings on places I could try and make it (NYC is just stupid. I give it thought because I work there partially already and every now and then there's a posting for something, like managing a community garden, or working at a jam company that's starting up, or SOMETHING and it happens to fit some skills and interests I have.. BUT, NYC and the boroughs are just stupid expensive and I always feel anxious to return home after going in for work. Boston's nice but it'd be a bitch to move and look for work)

Eventually I decided that I'd just settle in where I am until I can make a really decent pile of cash and then have a go at it again. Which is where I am now. I realize that evenutally I have to go. There's nothing here for me and I cannot advance career wise, or start a business here and live on it. I cannot find anyone in this town to date. I am severely limited.

BUT, I also realize I wouldn't have gotten as far if I hadn't taken up the opportunities presented to me here. I wouldn't have experienced so much or have done so much without this town being what it is. (the question being, if you're in a prison, do you just sit there and wait to die or are you willing to spend your time honing a way to escape.. even if it takes decades?) And I also realized that part of it, yes, is where I am, but part of it is also myself. One place is not terribly different from the next (unless you REALLY leave and go to some far flung country, and even then I think there will be some sort of cultural similarities due to westernization). Part of it is that I just really don't connect with people easily. I keep them at a distance, and even those closest to me, those that can understand my the way I think, and that can predict my moves, and just amaze me with how well they understand me... there's always that gap. There's always that bit missing. They aren't me and aren't a part of me, and never will. I think it's part of the human condition and those of us aware of it either have to learn to accept it and live with it, or we're going to continually chase after a mythical "connection" with people that we THINK other people share, (and it looks like it a lot, but then... you realize that they're just having either a moment of synchronicity or they're acting that way to chase after the same things you are)

Everyone's ultimately alone. And none of us completely belong. Some times you just feel it more than others. And your best bet is to not worry about it and develop yourself first. Be comfortable being alone, and then you'll handle those moments better. Don't give up on others, but yeah.. know the problem is in you, but you're not alone in having that problem.

Anyway, that's my two cents.
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17 / F / Connecticut
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Posted 1/20/15
I feel like I belong well enough where I live, but not really with my original friends. When I really feel like I don't belong somewhere, I just leave. I can afford to be impulsive, for now, since middle and high school don't really matter.
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28 / F / SC
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Posted 1/20/15

MissMagicNoodles wrote:

Actually, yes. Can't say I'm too happy with the south. Or the people in it.


wow i'm seeing a lot of hate for the south in these forums in the past few days.

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23 / M / Indiana
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Posted 1/20/15 , edited 1/20/15


Thanks for the great response man! Im definitely going to think about what you said!
Posted 1/20/15
Feeling lost in a crowd whenever I'm in a strange place, like out of town in a big city, etc.
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M / Planet Earth
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Posted 1/20/15
Ha I can't tell you how many times I felt that way...growing up I never really found my place with people, since I was moving all the time, sure I would adapt but to find out my true self among the people I was with but the key is living with yourself, being glad of who you are. Heck even now, I still feel like I'm on my own but as long as I have company along the journey I don't mind it at all...not one bit
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23 / M / Indiana
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Posted 1/20/15

WARincon wrote:

Ha I can't tell you how many times I felt that way...growing up I never really found my place with people, since I was moving all the time, sure I would adapt but to find out my true self among the people I was with but the key is living with yourself, being glad of who you are. Heck even now, I still feel like I'm on my own but as long as I have company along the journey I don't mind it at all...not one bit :)


Heck ya man agreed! Always be happy who you are! And i enjoy having some company but im more into a few close friends over a lot.
Posted 1/20/15

Sogno- wrote:


MissMagicNoodles wrote:

Actually, yes. Can't say I'm too happy with the south. Or the people in it.


wow i'm seeing a lot of hate for the south in these forums in the past few days.



There's a lot of homophobia and racism in the town I live in, due to it being a very small town full of white people. And because I live in such a small town, I find it hard to find people I get along with, as in very few geeks, and everyone acts the same.
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Posted 1/20/15 , edited 1/20/15
^ As a Southerner, I'll second the everyone acting the same. It's kind of creepy when I think about it. Also where I'm at is basically a swamp. I don't particularly dislike it, but I wish it got cold. Do people ever start conversations with you starting with the line, "What church do you go to?" Because that happens to me a lot, and I'm wondering if it's just me.
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28 / M / Houma
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Posted 1/20/15

mickeydayum wrote:
Do people ever start conversations with you starting with the line, "What church do you go to?" Because that happens to me a lot, and I'm wondering if it's just me.


That just seems so rude. It's like I'm being judged right away based upon which building I practice my faith in. It hasn't happened to me before though and I live in a coastal parish. My answer would be none as I don't believe in the power dynamics that tend to crop up in organized religion. Such a thing is just ripe for corruption.

I see a variety of personalities around but everyone seems to have a very similar set of interests that mostly don't align with mine so I am socially outcast.
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