Post Reply I Made a Comic!
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23 / M / California
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Posted 1/24/15 , edited 2/9/15
It's called.....




and it has two. Whole. Pages!


This one!



and that one!




and... more things will be coming in the coming months whenever I have time!

Update: I had no idea how much work this would take going in. I meant to have new posts every week, but Jesus rollerblading Christ, this school stuff is eating my time! Also, I'm making more short comics in the vain of Star Wars, courtesy of my discovery of the Battlefront games, so I'm not discouraged, I'm busy.


Posted 1/24/15
Oooh~ random monster appearesd. Strange things happen in bars.

Looks awesome dude.
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Posted 1/24/15
Do you not pay attn to perspective on purpose?
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Posted 1/25/15

Elzabetel wrote:

Do you not pay attn to perspective on purpose?


That is an on-point criticism, and an aspect I'll figure out as I go along. With that in mind, the looks of characters will probably- likely change over time.
Posted 1/25/15
Looks fine the way it is. The dodgy factor is attractive.
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Posted 1/31/15 , edited 1/31/15
I quite like the character designs of the heroines, I especially like the hair colour on the long haired chick.
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Posted 1/31/15 , edited 1/31/15
I need to get to work on making more of this. I need a schedule of some kind, so I can balance work on the comic with school and other projects.

Also, I got a new pen, which will make the line work cleaner.
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Posted 2/1/15
I REALLY WANT TO READ AND KNOW WHAT YOUR COMIC IS ABOUT BUT IT IS DIFFICULT TO READ ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SPEECH BUBBLES LOOK LIKE THEY ARE A PART OF THE DRAWING PANELS. COULD YOU TRY HAVING A MORE CLEAN SQUARE OR ROUND SPEECH BUBBLES TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN THE DRAWING AND COMMUNICATION BETWEEN THE CHARACTERS AND INSTEAD OF CHICKEN SCRATCH HANDWRITING, TRY HAVING THE SPEECH TYPED OUT? IT WOULD PROBABLY GIVE YOU AN EASIER TIME THAN WRITING THEM OUT, JUST SAYING.

FIX THIS SO I CAN READ IT. THANKS.
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Posted 2/9/15 , edited 2/9/15
Love the visual jokes. Inside the bar I'm really liking the colours! and you combined them nicely. Character designs are quite nice too, well they have potential. You clearly have an eye for the detail. Visually very appealing, to me at least. I can see the perspective is a little rough. But I think that if you try to rectify that too quickly you'll lose something! (You really will.)

Just let it evolve as you work on new material. I don't know if you know "The Simpsons" If you look at the old episodes it looks a bit rubbish. But it had it's own charm. Over time they evolved and perfected the art. Just take your time, don't think about it too much. I'm not turned off by it at all.

The setup sounds interesting. You've established all their basic personalities already (though I must say they don't grab me, but it's your first attempt you did well really) You've had to fit quite a bit into there. You might have to look at how you can be more concise. My personal feeling is you don't need to do so much to establish the characters if you are trying to do all that in only those two pages. You obviously wanted to give us a big "hook" early on so you're trying to do a lot.

I loved the straw joke. Again you were trying to establish character personalities so it seemed to drag on a little bit after the punchline, given your limited space. You know how to tell a joke so that's a good start.

Again, your visual sensibility is apparent, so that scene at the end looked fantastic! You clearly have a talent for visual humour. I really like it. Obviously you'll need to find a way to make it easier to read. If I were a "random person off the street" I would not have bothered trying to read it. It's only the fact that I was personally hooked by the visual style and humour that I made the effort.

I'm interested in what's going to happen next and I also would like to see more visual humour as well. Therefore I'm looking forward to more. Please continue!
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Posted 2/9/15 , edited 2/9/15
Seems interesting
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Posted 2/9/15
Fine, I'll get back to work on it, but I really wanna do more Star Wars stuff! That, or buy The Empire Strikes Back to get it out of my system.
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Posted 2/9/15
YOU HAD ME AT STAR WARS.
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M / The Future™
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Posted 2/9/15

Lethargic_leopard_Seal wrote:

Fine, I'll get back to work on it, but I really wanna do more Star Wars stuff! That, or buy The Empire Strikes Back to get it out of my system.


You could do well with that too. Wherever you interest/passion lies, that is what you must do!
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