First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
Post Reply Opinions on being friends with/romantically involved with people of other religions?
6670 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / You don't need to...
Offline
Posted 2/1/15


I know, someone cleared that up for me. I honestly don't really think about religion that much unless it comes up in conversation or some kind of holiday comes up. So I don't really know the technical terms for it. Thanks though!
6670 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / You don't need to...
Offline
Posted 2/1/15
Hey guys, just wanted to say it's interesting to see all your opinions on here! I was hoping to see if anyone has led a successful two religion relationship, but looks like it's nada so far lol But I've read all the posts so far and it's cool to see where everyone comes from!
3237 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
25 / F
Offline
Posted 2/3/15
It's no big deal. I never talk about religion with my friends.
41690 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Somewhere
Offline
Posted 2/3/15
As a Christian myself, I have nothing against being friends with people of other faiths. I also don't have a problem with dating people of other faiths. My girlfriend is atheist and she is entitled to her beliefs. We don't really go into religious debate much as we see no need to. Now I'll admit that I've had some people say that they didn't agree with the fact I was dating an atheist, but they don't try to make me break up with her. I've never cared about someone's way of life, as long as they treat me with respect I'll treat them with respect.
Sogno- 
45726 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 2/3/15
eehh from personal experience it didn't work. and it was kinda dumb too, why did i date a guy with different beliefs than me? i mean, liking different types of food or having different opinions on stuff is fine but when it comes to spirituality i think it's hard to be with someone who believes differently.

that said if two people of different religions can get along and don't see their beliefs as something that's in the way then by all means they can do whatever they want. i ain't gonna judge them or anything, i just didn't have good experience with it so i wouldn't do it again. live and learn.
9200 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
35 / M
Offline
Posted 2/3/15

robfjohnson wrote:

The thing about religion is, religion isn't just a superficial label like skin color or hairstyle. To a person who takes their religion seriously, it's close to if not the core of what makes them who they are. A person who believes "Yahweh is going to judge us after we die" and a person who believes "It is every rational being's duty to act in such a way that would not be self-contradictory if adopted by every rational being" may both come to the conclusion "therefore, I will not kill the other humans around me except in self-defense or similar extenuating circumstances", yet the typical Christian (based on my experience with people who take Christianity seriously) will be somewhere between surprised and shocked at the Kantian's self-generated morality, and the typical Kantian (if you judge by the words of the original, Kant himself) will consider the Christian morally defective for needing an outside source to enforce that same morality. Would you, as the Kantian, want to be in a romantic relationship with someone like the Christian who is shocked by the source of your morality, and (again, judging by people I've talked to who take Christianity seriously) doesn't really believe it works? Would you, as the Christian, want to be in a relationship with someone like the Kantian who (again, by the words of Kant himself) believes the source of your morality is morally worthless? The difference between a Christian and a Muslim, or between a Catholic and a Protestant, may or may not be smaller than this, although between (serious) Catholics and (serious) Protestants, the difference between "truth and mercy comes from God infallibly through the Pope and the Saints" and "truth and mercy comes from God in a way that can be understood individually by each of us without need for any human authority" and a vague idea that the concept of Saints is idol worship, seems to be about as big as the difference between the Christian and the Kantian above. (This is based on a vague understanding of Catholicism and Protestantism and may not be as reliable as my understanding of the Christian and the Kantian.)

It is a tenet of my own religion (as yet unnamed, and called a "religion" half-jokingly) that if you profess a belief and yet that belief doesn't somehow affect every aspect of your life, it's not your real belief. Religious beliefs generally say something about the fundamental nature of reality, the universe, and human existence, so if you profess a belief in a certain religion and it doesn't make you uncomfortable having an intimate relationship with someone who professes a fundamentally different belief, then at least one of you doesn't really believe it.


There's is no end to the love I have for this post.

i would like to point out that Kant was a deist. Maybe not christian, but not far removed. Kant would also argue that "except in self defense" might be in violation with his idea of a categorical imperative. (i have to brush up as it's been about 15 years since I cracked open the old philosophy text books to check.

You also are right. IF a person's religious beliefs are a strong part of who and what they are, and they expect that out of you (or, seem as though it may be an expectation) and they differ from yours, it's probably doomed to fail.

Friendships on the other hand... Friendships are different yet similar yet different. The same rule applies: If you both are willing to make allowances for your beliefs and values, knowing the other person disagrees, then you will be fine. If those beliefs are so core to who you are that you are intolerable about them, you're doomed to fail.. Friendships, unlike romance and dating and marriage, fortunately are not NEARLY as tightly knit relationships where you have to see the person day in and day out, and have to cooperate just as much and just as often. Plus, if you get in a fight with your friends, you just hang out with different friends for a while till you cool off. Your girlfriend or boyfriend... by the nature of the relationship, you really shouldn't have another significant other to spend time with instead..

Ooooh.. let's do two biblical quotes..

Romans 13:9


For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.


Meanwhile, oh beloved quoter of Kant, check out the works of Kirkegaard and Christian Existentialism....(every time I get to mention Soren, and Emmanuel, I get this bubbly feeling inside. )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_existentialism
1096 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / The Heavens
Offline
Posted 2/3/15
I personally believe that it is important to marry a person of the same religion in this situation. There are probably many people who will roll their eyes when reading this, but just hear me out. The Bible says (in this moment assume the OP's beliefs, because you can not rightly give advice fitting for someone without putting yourself in their shoes) that in marriage or any couple it is important that both individuals are Christian, because of the natural human inclination to stray from God. If you believe this than you would therefore also believe that it is more likely you will lose your faith in such a relationship.
1096 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / The Heavens
Offline
Posted 2/3/15 , edited 2/3/15

serifsansserif wrote:


robfjohnson wrote:

The thing about religion is, religion isn't just a superficial label like skin color or hairstyle. To a person who takes their religion seriously, it's close to if not the core of what makes them who they are. A person who believes "Yahweh is going to judge us after we die" and a person who believes "It is every rational being's duty to act in such a way that would not be self-contradictory if adopted by every rational being" may both come to the conclusion "therefore, I will not kill the other humans around me except in self-defense or similar extenuating circumstances", yet the typical Christian (based on my experience with people who take Christianity seriously) will be somewhere between surprised and shocked at the Kantian's self-generated morality, and the typical Kantian (if you judge by the words of the original, Kant himself) will consider the Christian morally defective for needing an outside source to enforce that same morality. Would you, as the Kantian, want to be in a romantic relationship with someone like the Christian who is shocked by the source of your morality, and (again, judging by people I've talked to who take Christianity seriously) doesn't really believe it works? Would you, as the Christian, want to be in a relationship with someone like the Kantian who (again, by the words of Kant himself) believes the source of your morality is morally worthless? The difference between a Christian and a Muslim, or between a Catholic and a Protestant, may or may not be smaller than this, although between (serious) Catholics and (serious) Protestants, the difference between "truth and mercy comes from God infallibly through the Pope and the Saints" and "truth and mercy comes from God in a way that can be understood individually by each of us without need for any human authority" and a vague idea that the concept of Saints is idol worship, seems to be about as big as the difference between the Christian and the Kantian above. (This is based on a vague understanding of Catholicism and Protestantism and may not be as reliable as my understanding of the Christian and the Kantian.)

It is a tenet of my own religion (as yet unnamed, and called a "religion" half-jokingly) that if you profess a belief and yet that belief doesn't somehow affect every aspect of your life, it's not your real belief. Religious beliefs generally say something about the fundamental nature of reality, the universe, and human existence, so if you profess a belief in a certain religion and it doesn't make you uncomfortable having an intimate relationship with someone who professes a fundamentally different belief, then at least one of you doesn't really believe it.


There's is no end to the love I have for this post.

i would like to point out that Kant was a deist. Maybe not christian, but not far removed. Kant would also argue that "except in self defense" might be in violation with his idea of a categorical imperative. (i have to brush up as it's been about 15 years since I cracked open the old philosophy text books to check.

You also are right. IF a person's religious beliefs are a strong part of who and what they are, and they expect that out of you (or, seem as though it may be an expectation) and they differ from yours, it's probably doomed to fail.

Friendships on the other hand... Friendships are different yet similar yet different. The same rule applies: If you both are willing to make allowances for your beliefs and values, knowing the other person disagrees, then you will be fine. If those beliefs are so core to who you are that you are intolerable about them, you're doomed to fail.. Friendships, unlike romance and dating and marriage, fortunately are not NEARLY as tightly knit relationships where you have to see the person day in and day out, and have to cooperate just as much and just as often. Plus, if you get in a fight with your friends, you just hang out with different friends for a while till you cool off. Your girlfriend or boyfriend... by the nature of the relationship, you really shouldn't have another significant other to spend time with instead..

Ooooh.. let's do two biblical quotes..

Romans 13:9


For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-6

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.


Meanwhile, oh beloved quoter of Kant, check out the works of Kirkegaard and Christian Existentialism....(every time I get to mention Soren, and Emmanuel, I get this bubbly feeling inside. )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_existentialism




Wow I did not expect to find lovers of philosophy like me on this site let alone people who even knew who Kant was! What a pleasant surprise.


Also on the whole different religion friends I think that is ok and actually beneficial for one's faith. Jesus talked to prostitutes, lepers, and the outcasts of society. Not that they are outcasts, but my point is the only way to do what God has commanded of us and spread his word is by speaking to those who don't know it. I personally only have only 2 friends with the same beliefs as I do and 2 of my other friends are die hard atheists.
2461 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / M / Minnesota, USA
Offline
Posted 2/3/15
Depends on the people, how strong their opinions are, and if those opinions are remotely compatible or not. My wife was Catholic where as I am Lutheran. I had no issue with her staying Catholic but in the end she became Lutheran anyway. In our case we're way more about the core belief than the senseless bickering of all the ten thousand denominations of Christianity out there over every little crumb.
1096 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
M / The Heavens
Offline
Posted 2/3/15

masked185 wrote:

Depends on the people, how strong their opinions are, and if those opinions are remotely compatible or not. My wife was Catholic where as I am Lutheran. I had no issue with her staying Catholic but in the end she became Lutheran anyway. In our case we're way more about the core belief than the senseless bickering of all the ten thousand denominations of Christianity out there over every little crumb.


I'm with this dude all of the denominations are making more bad than good.

11012 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 2/3/15 , edited 2/3/15
I'm Muslim,but admittedly not a devout one.I believe in God/Allah,but I only really pray or go to the Mosque on holidays. I do fast during Ramadan, don't do drugs, or eat pork. Honestly, the health aspects are easy for me to follow.

Friends-
one of my best friends who I've known for 6 years is atheist(an extreme atheist), the religion subject is never really a problem with us. Its just a subject useless to talk about with him, we have plenty of other things to talk about. Another one of my friends who i'm equally close with is a staunch 7th day Adventist(some type of Christianity) and he could be a bit preach sometimes, but we have a strong mutual respect for each other. I went to his wedding and couldn't be happier for him.

Romantically-
I really liked this girl who happened to be Christian, the more I learned about her, the more I learned her faith was part of her life. People say you can't be friends with someone you liked and even laugh at the "friend zone",but thats all bull! She was the first one I cared about in a while, but at this moment, I laugh at the fact that I was ever attracted to her in that way. We are alike and connect in a lot of ways,but its was like fitting two puzzle pieces together that don't belong. We talk all the time and hang out once in a while.

I wouldn't mind being in a serious relationship with someone of another faith,except...........Kids....It would be very hard for me to try to raise a kid with 2 faiths or none at all. Its the path that many of my family members tried and it doesn't really work. Many kids in families like that don't know two traditions well, its usually watered down knowledge of both. Since I'm not devout does that make me a hypocrite??Maybe, but its just the truth. Ideally, I would want to marry someone Muslim if we're thinking of having kids, if children weren't an issue,it wouldn't matter at all to me.

I just like,good,decent people. I've known people with similar backgrounds to me(even family) that I wouldn't trust with anything and people who couldn't be more different that I would trust a little (not very trusting),lol.....

If you actually read this,I may sound hypocritical or contradictory,but thats how I feel on the subject.
6670 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
20 / F / You don't need to...
Offline
Posted 2/3/15


No I get it, I'm kind of the same way sometimes, since I was raised Catholic but only follow certain things. And the kids thing would be tough... the only two different religious people I've seen get along that way were Christians and Jewish people.
11012 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 2/3/15

MoxiRoxi wrote:



No I get it, I'm kind of the same way sometimes, since I was raised Catholic but only follow certain things. And the kids thing would be tough... the only two different religious people I've seen get along that way were Christians and Jewish people.


I know adults who say I'm half Muslim/Christian or half Christian/Jewish.... I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on a kid.When adult still can't decide what they believe, you know you were to hard on them
15021 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
28 / M / Seattle
Offline
Posted 2/3/15
If a girl/guy is willing to date you knowing full well of your different beliefs, then she obviously ain't bothered by it and neither should you. What will get in the way, in my experience, are the parents. You an atheist? Then good luck appeasing the parents of a muslim/jewish/christian girl. Best way to deal with this, is to NEVER discuss or at the very least argue with them about there religion. One thing you can never change about someone, is their faith.
41690 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Somewhere
Offline
Posted 2/3/15

You do bring up a very good point, but having a relationship like that with someone who is not of the Christian faith may be a good thing. It is possible that the Christ-like example and love for God by one spouse may cause the other to be more accepting. Though I know and understand why some people would be against it, but that's just how I see it.
Also I see you love Philosophy as well*Internet Highfive* I'm taking Philosophy this semester and I love it.
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.