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Post Reply Expectation is the mother of dissapointment...
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Posted 2/19/15
Yes... i just say things like that, but I mean every damn word. -smirks-
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Posted 2/19/15

nanikore2 wrote:


A-Eky wrote:

very pessimistic of you, i prefer to see the glass as half full

how can you get want you want in life, without expecting/wanting/desiring. sure it might not always work out but at least you tried.


Exactly!

"Well... I spent $30000 on this thing but it turned out to be a box of bricks. BUT HEY I wasn't expecting of getting anything for my money so this box of bricks was GREAT!"

LAFFO

But seriously, what I do observe is a need for expectation management and not expectation removal. We should always expect things, but in the right ways and the right amounts. If someone always end up disappointed then it's a case of chronically poor expectation management.


that is a perfect way of putting in. "EXPECTATION MANAGEMENT not EXPECTATION REMOVAL"
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Posted 2/19/15
I dated a divorced woman who talked about a future where we'd end up together married living happily ever after. When I proposed she told me she decided when she got divorced that she'd never get married again and that we should just move in together instead. I'm kind of old-fashioned so that was pretty much the end of a 2 year relationship. In some ways it was lost expectation in others the stringing along lies.
Posted 2/19/15 , edited 2/19/15

Legion13 wrote:

Yeah, i end up dissapointed with tests because of that.


lol. I now strangely have That's Amore by Dean Martin in my head.
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Posted 2/19/15

neugenx wrote:

I dated a divorced woman who talked about a future where we'd end up together married living happily ever after. When I proposed she told me she decided when she got divorced that she'd never get married again and that we should just move in together instead. I'm kind of old-fashioned so that was pretty much the end of a 2 year relationship. In some ways it was lost expectation in others the stringing along lies.


Sounds more like someone was stringing you along. I've been in some very bad relationships and watched my fiance die in my arms. I tell people who want to date me... I don't know if I'll ever marry and I want you to know this up front... yeah...A lot of people turn around and walk away, but my opinion was always "why lie?"
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Posted 2/19/15

Lillith_Vecie wrote:


neugenx wrote:

I dated a divorced woman who talked about a future where we'd end up together married living happily ever after. When I proposed she told me she decided when she got divorced that she'd never get married again and that we should just move in together instead. I'm kind of old-fashioned so that was pretty much the end of a 2 year relationship. In some ways it was lost expectation in others the stringing along lies.


Sounds more like someone was stringing you along. I've been in some very bad relationships and watched my fiance die in my arms. I tell people who want to date me... I don't know if I'll ever marry and I want you to know this up front... yeah...A lot of people turn around and walk away, but my opinion was always "why lie?"


Sorry about your fiancee. I can only imagine how hard it must be. What you do with the people you date is the right thing and no one can fault you for it. Anyone who doesn't understand wouldn't be worth it anyway.

The sad part is honestly if she told me the way you tell the people you date I would've been okay with the relationship. That's kind of why I can see it as lost expections; mostly the lost trust in the relationship.
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Posted 2/19/15

neugenx wrote:


Lillith_Vecie wrote:


neugenx wrote:

I dated a divorced woman who talked about a future where we'd end up together married living happily ever after. When I proposed she told me she decided when she got divorced that she'd never get married again and that we should just move in together instead. I'm kind of old-fashioned so that was pretty much the end of a 2 year relationship. In some ways it was lost expectation in others the stringing along lies.


Sounds more like someone was stringing you along. I've been in some very bad relationships and watched my fiance die in my arms. I tell people who want to date me... I don't know if I'll ever marry and I want you to know this up front... yeah...A lot of people turn around and walk away, but my opinion was always "why lie?"


Sorry about your fiancee. I can only imagine how hard it must be. What you do with the people you date is the right thing and no one can fault you for it. Anyone who doesn't understand wouldn't be worth it anyway.

The sad part is honestly if she told me the way you tell the people you date I would've been okay with the relationship. That's kind of why I can see it as lost expections; mostly the lost trust in the relationship.


When trust is broken it's nearly impossible to fix. Honestly, I'm not sure it can ever completely be repaired. Anyone who's been betrayed a few times, or even just disappointed will tell you, it hurts a whole lot less when truth comes out early on, so you can decide whether or not you want to deal with it before you get attached.
There area always surprises in life. My fiance... he was one of those... from the moment he walked in till the moment he was escorted out. While I know that is a wound that will never heal, I agree with him... "You should never allow your past to prevent happiness in your future." He taught me so much about life, love and myself.
Every step is a lesson.. every lesson gives us another key to finding who we should be and what we really want.
In your case, even a simple "I really don't know what I want." Would have been an improvement over what you got. I'm sorry for that, I've been there a time or two... in fact, that's why I'm a single mother...
Tell you though, I'd rather suffer a broken heart, than be lied to and lead on, or be stuck with someone who can't ever be honest or true... Sometimes it seems that expectation of honesty is a bit of a fantasy in our world.. Or I'm old fashioned.
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48 / M / New England, USA
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Posted 2/19/15
Your fiancee sounds like he was a great guy . The good part is I can attest there are still some honest and true people out there, they're just getting a bit harder to find...and there's nothing wrong with being old-fashioned . It just means you have values.
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Posted 2/19/15
Hope for the best, expect the worst.. That's what I go by.
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Posted 2/20/15

neugenx wrote:

Your fiancee sounds like he was a great guy . The good part is I can attest there are still some honest and true people out there, they're just getting a bit harder to find...and there's nothing wrong with being old-fashioned . It just means you have values.


He was... he left me with hope this world could be a good place even with all the issues... Values, morals, honor... if we had more of this the world would be far better off.
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