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22 / M / Texas (United Sta...
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Posted 2/27/15
A man with no feeling's
No feeling's at all
Starred into the deep black abyss
Know what he saw?
Himself starring back
Eyes filled with black
Face oh so worn
Clothes tattered and torn
A normal man would be warned
But a man with no emotion
He was blind to that thought
He saw himself and realized he would rot
Up in emotions he could he never get caught
Is this man blissfully ignorant?
Should you feel bad for him?
That's for you to decide
For who are you to judge another mans mind
Is their a lesson for the man who stares into the abyss
Or can a man with no emotion tell apart from all this
A man with no feeling's
No feeling's at all
Starred into the deep black abyss
Know what he saw?
Himself starring back
Eyes filled with only with black
If you were to stare into the abyss
What would you see staring back? - Kyle K - AKA - KuramaKami
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17 / M
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Posted 3/2/15
I have done all my gracious toils as you most peremptorily asked
I have provided many with great care and generosity as you sweetly asked
I have pleased so many people who are friends of you and me

You have seen my works, my toils, my achievements
You have seen my riches, my sumptuous home
You have seen my greatness in all aspects of the human's life
You have seen my love for you, oh how I dearly love you.

But why are you so timid
But why are you so afraid
That you would stop your tracks from following my tracks?

Everything is mine and everything is yours, so why do you turn away?

10 for inspiration kurama
Vempy 
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27 / F / Canada
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Posted 3/2/15 , edited 4/27/15
I like the idea but I dislike rating other people's poetry. So, I will partake but refrain from rating anything. I'm also going to use the OPs poem for inspiration:

If you were to stare into the abyss
What would you see staring back?

I would see half Romeo, but only Juliette's.
-------------

i began,
infinitesimal.
the smallest speck
of his denial
and cold eyes
a murmuring
of stupidity.
the mistakes
of being
only nineteen

i was the crack
in your glass,
half-full
but draining.
when I gained
substantial mass
i was the succubus
that spewed blood
between your thighs -

i had his eyes
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28 / F / Texas, USA
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Posted 3/9/15
Vempy had the best poem here. The lines were beautifully arranged and flowed more smoothly than the other poems posted. Also Vempy had a more consistant meter alternation.

Jertle6- The feeling and content in your poem are well, however because each line is so long it leaves the reader breathless. So basically your lines are congested, in particular lines 1 through 3. On the upside, this would be a great poem for you to read aloud to people since you can personally space and time each word verbally.

Kuramakami- I really love the content of your poem. Its very vivid and emotional. If you reworked some of the words and metered the lines I think you could even win a contest with it.

I do not mean to offend any of you, just giving you some peer criticism. I meant the above statements and suggestions to be helpful and inspiring. As for validity of my criticism, I myself have competed and been published 3 times, after which I decided to quit competing so I could compile my own book of poetry for independent publishing.

<3 With much love and respect for you wonderful writing! <3 --- Teh Lustikitty
JenRL 
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Posted 3/13/15
Woohoo! Poems! I loved reading those! I liked how there was always a set of lines in each poem that stuck out and impacted me the most. They were like an egg, the rest of the poem an incubator to nurture it's hatching (well, much more than an incubator, but you know what I mean). And I would love to see them performed in a spoken word concert, because there was a lot of power and emotion driving them.

Anyway, this poem was supposed to be a long narrative, but that didn't happen.

---

Across the sky, a silhouette,
Spread on the ground, a shadow;
With ease a dark beast curved and swung
Towards the town that lay below.

Its eyes: as shallow as a grave.
It's gaze: set, fixed, yet void.
Then, deep within its gut there came
A ghostly sound of those destroyed –

– that howl descended from the clouds,
It settled in the stone and earth,
It shuddered through the wise men's bones
And sank the hearts around the hearth . . .

It left as swiftly as it came.
Back to their jobs the people swarmed.
Eyes darted to the cold, clear sky.
An anxious calm, a ceaseless storm.


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26 / M
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Posted 3/25/15
Wow. That really made me feel like a little ant. Nature is so powerful and malevolent. Yet the atmosphere that causes all of the bad things to happen is the very thing that supports all of earth's life. Thoroughly enjoyed the rhyming and meter of this poem. Very intelligently written.

https://soundcloud.com/stephenbridgesmusic/autumn-fire

I invite all to listen to my music as well as read the lyrics within the description of the song on my soundcloud. Will post up the lyrics later when time allows.
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Vista, CA
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Posted 4/18/15
I enjoyed reading the poems (and hearing the song). It would love to read some more works by you guys and other crunchyroll members.I am still a bit inexperienced in writing poems but here is a small one from me:

Not Quite There

Not long I stopped to think,
Of thoughts to write in jet black ink.
A single thought crept to mind,
Of a time I now long wish to find.

Do you remember the whens and where?
No?
That's right, you weren't quite there.
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21 / F
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Posted 4/19/15
Kurama: You poem was great. I liked that you used the different text colors to show your emotions more.
Jert: I liked your poem as well. The form you used is close to one of my more favored poetry forms.
Vempy: Your was good. I liked the meaning behind it.
Jen: You poem was hunting and great. I love the form you used, since it is easy to use. I use it all the time in my poetry.
Sull: Yours was short, sweet and to the point. You put a good amount of feeling in those few lines.

Now for mine:

Forever

Forever is the timeless.
With no start or end,
but always there.

Forever is the endless.
With no where to go,
but always moving.

Forever is the untameable.
With no greater force,
but always in control.

The uncaring force of nature.
The unforgettable dreams.
The unending sands of times.
Are always going to be forever.
JenRL 
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Posted 4/29/15
^ Thanks for the critique! I like your poem, clever use of repetition for the "forever is the..."


Just wanted to let everyone know that there's a poetry group here on crunchyroll. It's called the Poetry Club. Continue to post here, but come and join the club too!
12297 cr points
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26 / M
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Posted 6/5/15
Glad you liked the song!

"A single thought crept to mind,
Of a time I now long wish to find. "

That's beautifully worded! Great poem.
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26 / F / United States
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Posted 6/8/15
Unwound


A warped pine door clings to groaning hinges,
it's brass knob tarnished and detached.
Inside the carpet, soiled, frayed, and faded;
barely bearing buckled walls

Beneath the water bruised ceiling,
Molded pillows swell on a frigid bed.
Dust bunnies huddle in shadowed corners,
Their whispers muted by the rain.

Sodden drapes, death bound lovers,
Hang unmoving in their cold embrace.
Twilight illuminates The Clock,
his hands shackled in the dust.
3345 cr points
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24 / M / Arapongas-Paraná
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Posted 6/8/15
Man, does it need to be English poetry?
1453 cr points
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29 / M / Oklahoma
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Posted 6/13/15
Crunchyroll

Watching anime all day,
it is quite fun,
I must say,
but when Plastic Memories gets delayed,
it makes me sad,
I feel like throwing a grenade,
Instead I am writing a verse,
losing my mind and soul,
I may end up in a hearse,
Please oh please Crunchyroll,
release it soon,
because my heart is taking a toll.
5318 cr points
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M
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Posted 6/13/15
Haikus are the truest form of poetry, keeps it short, simple, and real.

Beautiful dark hair

Soft honey skin and warm eyes

I love Pay-Per View
118 cr points
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14 / F / Fort Lee, New Jersey
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Posted 6/18/15
Paradigm
A conflict in the bend,
a paradox in the glass.
Simple but yet to last.
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