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Post Reply Sex and our Partners Today
Posted 3/1/15

PeripheralVisionary wrote:

Well, it's natural you want to ride before you buy. That way, you know if it is too big to fit in certain parking spots, whether it is easy to parallel park, and if they are any dents your insurance will cover.


lol
Posted 10/23/15
Well we all have a past history and its quite common for some of us to not like something within it. In my current relationship I could already tell he has done with it another just couldnt say how many which ended up being pretty low. Lower than mine. I'm not bothered by it and he doesnt seem too bothered by mine either other than the fact I do have 1 child with one from my teenage years. I can't say much for him but I dont over look things cause whats in the past is in the past. i'm present now so theyres no reason to get upset over it unless he's wanting one of the others back. that'd just change everything, but it doesnt seem like that will ever happen. I mean theyre exes for a reason. ^^
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Posted 10/23/15
Generally do not care, unless it is ridiculous.

I dated an 18 year old girl. Made the decision to have unprotected sex because I assumed an 18 year old would be low risk. She later told me she'd slept with 17 men. I felt sick at my stomach.

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Posted 10/23/15
I was best friends with my wife-to-be for several years before we started dating and was introduced to her by a group of mutual friends that had known her since middle school/high school. I already knew she had had relationships with several of them over the years.

She also knew at least a part of my history, though it's probably for the best I don't talk about my experience with other women in her presence. She would be very jealous if she thought I was still thinking about them. In return, she does not talk about her previous experiences.
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Posted 10/23/15
If it isn't acceptable to sleep with people aside from people unless they are the one you will spend your life with, when is the appropriate time to sleep with them? I can only think on the death bed, since that is just about the only time you can be certain the relationship won't fall apart. Things happen, and love isn't some super-powerful force that permanently glues two people together.

It's unrealistic to expect someone to have never loved someone before you, to think that they wouldn't have given into one of our most basic and powerful impulses.

What is so bad about someone having had sex, anyways, so long as they are disease free? It's like getting upset because your partner has kissed someone else or held another hand.
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25 / F / US
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Posted 10/23/15

It's one of those inevitable things that we just avoid talking about. I can tolerate my partner talking about their past relationships and experiences, but I'd rather not discuss intimate details. Saying "I've been with someone like _______ and it was _______." doesn't really bother me, but when names are applied and I hear them referenced multiple times, it becomes kind of irksome.

So I suppose my short answer is no, it doesn't bother me that my partner has been with people.
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Posted 10/23/15 , edited 10/24/15
Intimacy is a strange thing. It wouldn't even cross my mind as relevant that there were other people who had carnal knowledge of my significant other because it's trivial information. Sex without love or intimacy exists, so the act itself means very little to me. The circumstances surrounding it are so much more important. I'm not saying that you shouldn't pursue a fulfilling sex life, but that if you're ready to have sex in the first place these things shouldn't cross your mind in the first place.



Sir_jamesalot wrote:

You need to be able to accept that they had a life before they met you.


^^ This pretty much covers it, but I want to elaborate a little bit. You don't own any part of your significant other. Everything you have of them is freely given and can be taken back at any moment. Trying to "own" a person sexually by being their only partner is pointless. You can't tie a person down that way no matter how hard you try.

If a random person were to grab me and kiss me, I'm not just going to leave my husband for this random stranger.
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Posted 10/23/15
I don't care much about their history unless there are diseases and severe mental problems.

What matters is that I'm there in that moment. I don't bring baggage, I don't accept baggage, and I don't want them to bring baggage.
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Posted 10/23/15
honestly, I don't mind if my bf have done it before. But my bf would hate me if I done it with someone else even if I've done it way before I met him. I don't really understand why hate someone from what they have done in the past, and not in the present.
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40 / M / USA
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Posted 10/23/15 , edited 10/23/15
I say who cares. I'm not into the whole relationship thing or even care for people in general, but if I was going to get with someone their past doesn't mean anything to me as far as sex is concerned. I've tried just about everything in my day anyways.

The way I see it, if you're disease free and you still have holes, you're all set.
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Posted 10/23/15

HolyDrumstick wrote:

Generally do not care, unless it is ridiculous.

I dated an 18 year old girl. Made the decision to have unprotected sex because I assumed an 18 year old would be low risk. She later told me she'd slept with 17 men. I felt sick at my stomach.



Congrats on being number 18 though
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24 / M / Northern California
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Posted 10/23/15 , edited 10/23/15
When I was younger and more inexperienced it used to bother me but in recent years I feel that I've gotten over those insecurities. The last girl I slept with initially wouldn't shut up about her ex boyfriend but I had sex with her for the first time a couple weeks ago and she hasn't really talked about him since. Not gonna lie haha I feel pretty good about that.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 10/23/15
I'm a virgin, but I only really care if a significant other is contagious, thanks to STDs. I personally prefer nowadays to the overly-stuffy ways of a period in our past. I greatly appreciate not being treated as a brood mare who "must be a whore" for enjoying or knowing anything about sex. And being able to show bare ankles without being shunned? That's nice, too.
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25 / M / Wisconsin
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Posted 10/23/15
Honestly i dont really have a problem with it unl3ss its an excessive amount of people i mean we afe the ones doing it right now and thats all that really matters
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30 / M / New York City
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Posted 10/23/15
no.
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