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Post Reply Friendzone? You should read this.
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32 / M
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Posted 3/3/15
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21 / M / Tiphares
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Posted 3/3/15

serifsansserif wrote:

Bullshit. Most of my friends are women. I don't want them for anything else. Mainly cause they're either not my type or batshit crazy...


Ooo, do tell.
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18 / M / Out of sight (But...
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Posted 3/3/15
Sometimes I'm confused.. Do you want people to share, or just leave, or what?

Because I feel like the first option would be incorrect, and the seco-

Wait, that's it! The second option! I don't even have to go to the third option!
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21 / Australia
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Posted 3/3/15
I wish I could even get into the friend zone lol.
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20 / F / You don't need to...
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Posted 3/3/15 , edited 3/4/15
I wish that term would die already. If you know the person doesn't like you that way back, get over it. If you don't know, ask them. End of story.
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25 / M / 30.4894° N, 86.54...
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Posted 3/4/15


There are various levels of friendship. A "best friend" is generally considered the best friend you have, among the friends that you have. How else can I say this? If you have multiple friends that are your "best," then you're probably not very close with any of them. There are of course exceptions, and if you're an exception then by all means consider your experiences absolute truth. I'm basing my deduction off of many experiences, observations, literature, and everything else I've accumulated to date. You have the right to insult me, just like you have the right to believe whatever you must.

The completely average man or woman, when getting to know another's hopes/dreams/fears/ambitions and experiencing an ever closer relationship, either bonds like a brother/sister or bonds like a lover. Obviously if you're not super close, this won't be the case. And this is only boiling down trends; there are outliers such as yourself who manifest the skills of a gay psychiatric priest and become intimately familiar with many women without any attraction (outside of physics) whatsoever. Congratulations, sir, you are somewhat unique.
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25 / M
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/4/15
Guys learn to flirt just saying, you will get friendzoned pretty fast if all you do is talk to her. If she didn't like you at all move on and stop crying there are "plenty of fish in the sea"


The cringe in this thread though lol.
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27 / F
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/28/15

IshokuOsero wrote:

As much as I absolutely hate people bitching about the friendzone and having lost a few people who I thought were friends that were apparently not (one that was drama that even included internet stalking and shitty messages to the extreme on sites I hadn't even known he knew I was on to the tone of 'I'm so much better without you!' and 'You're such a shitty person that -I- was able to learn from that' and 'I'm never making the same mistake again!' - only paragraphs of the shit every time), etc etc etc... I clicked that link and was ready to pass it on but it started out when the girl was HOW YOUNG? Really now. That's fuckin Tumblr in its' finest. After I read two paragraphs, I was done.

Seriously if you're going to post about this stuff post something better.


The timeline shows the pervasiveness of the issue throughout our culture. It starts at a young age where girls and boys are snickered at by parents or other children their age for being friendly. I think it stresses a very good point that this is an ingrained issue stemming all the way from the beginning.

She feels tragically betrayed that the people she has so much fun with and thinks are her best friends, end up wanting more.

Also important to note, most of the replies have been victim blaming:

"Well, she must be putting off signs that she wants more".

Instead of accepting the OP at her word, there are quite of few of you who immediately negatively portray her as some sort of siren. I believe this is projection. I believe that those who refuse to read the girl's words as they are do not or cannot do so because to do so would be to recognize these behaviors in themselves.

Be a friend.
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Posted 3/4/15
Here's what I don't like about this post(the article written). Yes, trying to make advances when she said she's not interested shows a lack of respect, but "girlfriend zoning" as the article mentioned is sometimes unavoidable. What makes more sense, to not want anything to do with someone so you can forget about them and move on or being a "friend" or "best friend" so you can not only constantly think about them, but see first hand their future boyfriends,husbands,etc...Last year, I really liked someone and we got along great, but religious differences and a few other things all but guaranteed their would be no relationship. I liked her for a while, but honestly, I feel none of those kind of feelings anymore and we talk and hangout all the time. The only rule I said at the beginning was "don't tell me about all your guy problems, i'm your friend, not your girlfriend". As you get a little older, you realize that their are more fish in the sea and you can move on faster like that. I've become good friends with the girl I liked and even laugh a little that I thought it could go beyond that, but thats not everyone. Maybe he's not seeing her as a "piece of meat", but as someone who he doesn't want to give the chance to make him feel worse.
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37 / M
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/4/15
I regret clicking on the link as I felt my eyes melt and heard a whiny voice as I was reading. I don't do the whole friend zone thing. I'm like hey I find you attractive let me get to know you better to see if I find you more attractive and romantic relationship. That way if they pretend to not know of my intentions and later on say no I just want to be friends I cut them off. It's plain and simple I have enough friends who I became friends with because of shared interests. I don't stay friends with women I'm physically attracted to.
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35 / M
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/28/15

ReikaMichiko wrote:


IshokuOsero wrote:

As much as I absolutely hate people bitching about the friendzone and having lost a few people who I thought were friends that were apparently not (one that was drama that even included internet stalking and shitty messages to the extreme on sites I hadn't even known he knew I was on to the tone of 'I'm so much better without you!' and 'You're such a shitty person that -I- was able to learn from that' and 'I'm never making the same mistake again!' - only paragraphs of the shit every time), etc etc etc... I clicked that link and was ready to pass it on but it started out when the girl was HOW YOUNG? Really now. That's fuckin Tumblr in its' finest. After I read two paragraphs, I was done.

Seriously if you're going to post about this stuff post something better.


The timeline shows the pervasiveness of the issue throughout our culture. It starts at a young age where girls and boys are snickered at by parents or other children their age for being friendly. I think it stresses a very good point that this is an ingrained issue stemming all the way from the beginning.

She feels tragically betrayed that the people she has so much fun with and thinks are her best friends, end up wanting more.

Also important to note, most of the replies have been victim blaming:

"Well, she must be putting off signs that she wants more".

Instead of accepting the OP at her word, there are quite of few of you who immediately negatively portray her as some sort of siren. I believe this is projection. I believe that those who refuse to read the girl's words as they are do not or cannot do so because to do so would be to recognize these behaviors in themselves.

Be a friend.


Oh fuck her. She bitches and moans about her life and her problems. I wouldn't want to be her friend. Boo-fucking-hoo. a guy tried to kiss you at 5. Oh you poor tragic thing.
]
At five i was terrified of my mother's boyfriend who would beat the shit out of us after drinking, and had burnt our home down in a drunken drug addled stupor. and you want me to pity a poor widdle thing like that that is just TRAUMATIZED by a boy liking her, and then, when he is rejected, moves on...


I just can't...
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/28/15
Another thing this article marginalizes is the fact that men have always been told that they're the ones who have to do the asking out. It puts men at a lose, lose because if they don't ask, they will never know on one hand. On the other, people like the poster accuses them of being creeps for saying their feelings. I don't think that I've ever met a single guy who would act like a girl was a creep for saying her feelings. Most men would probably feel flattered.
Posted 3/4/15
Is there a tl;dr version?
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M
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Posted 3/4/15
I haven't clicked on the link in the opening post and only skimmed the topic; but I'll say one thing: I know that some people don't like the word ''friendzone'' because they associate it with entitled guys who blame women for not wanting to get with them. I understand that viewpoint but don 't agree with it, to paraphrase (read: butcher) a quote from the late George Carlin:

There's nothing wrong with the word ''Friendzone'' in and of itself, it's the jerk who's using it as a reason to be bitter with a woman (or women in general) that you ought to be concerned about.
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21 / M / TN
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/28/15
Yeeaah that original article is just stupid
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