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Post Reply Friendzone? You should read this.
Posted 3/4/15
should have been an asshole
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21 / M
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/4/15
Maybe you should actually read it..
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26 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 3/4/15 , edited 3/28/15

put yourself in the shoes of a girl who thought she made a wonderful friend, only to find out that he just wanted her for sex. that he just wanted her for a relationship. a girl who was just an object to win, a prize. a girl who’s trust you’ve just shattered.



only to find out that he just wanted her for sex. that he just wanted her for a relationship.


lol

First off, that first line is an assumption. And the second line, ??? no shit? 'that he just wanted her for a relationship' lol, wtf does this even mean? That's like saying 'omg he's only drinking orange juice because it's a drink'. I don't speak tumblretard, but I think it's simple. Even girls get friendzoned sometimes, it just happens for plenty of reasons. Some girls go out with douche's because those girls are stupid, have daddy issues, etc. Besides why would you want a girl like that?

As long as your just, generally kind to people you'll have a girlfriend, you don't have to play games and all this other stuff, maybe that works on your average orange faced girl, but it won't with anyone who's just normal.
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31 / M / Seattle
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Posted 3/4/15
I was bored and had nothing better to do so I gave this a read. Truth is that I read the same idea in a book back... hmm I guess it was almost 7 years ago. Well not the exact same idea, there was nothing about homosexuality in there. Anyway, I had read this in the past and I have observed it on many occasions with my brothers. I mean I have observed my brothers not getting friendzoned because they make their initial interaction known as "romantic". They do not try to creep in under the radar by being "Friends". Granted this is only one part of the whole process. So please do not think that being romantic from the get go will work. It just makes your boundaries clear. I am pretty sure such a thing takes lots of practice. As I see no point in the whole "relationship" aspect of having social interactions with females, I see no point to try.

This is one of the few instances where a female gives good valid advice on dating females. While the whole "You girl-friendzoned her first" claim is something that I would claim is not 100% true. It is very real for a female to friendzone a male she dates. This advice is still valid guys. If you do not make your desire to be more intimate with said female known she will take it however she wants. Which likely means that if she can get away with some good times while dating more attractive males, she will do that.

However, the moral of the story is to not cry over such a situation. When you get put in the friendzone you need to focus your efforts on females who will see you as more than just a friend. Keep your friend around, especially if she is cute, because that will help attract other females to you. Just treat her like a friend while you look for that mate.

You also should make sure you learn the universal lesson. No matter what happens, when it comes to romantic stuff. When it goes bad, it is always the males fault. So make sure your intentions and desires are clear. That way you can be the one to roll your eyes and knowingly girl-friendzone said female.
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/28/15

StrawHatMichael wrote:

Sorry, I stay away from that side of Tumblr...





All I heard was (white cis privileged male BS)
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19 / M / US
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/28/15

satansb wrote:


StrawHatMichael wrote:

Sorry, I stay away from that side of Tumblr...





All I heard was (white cis privileged male BS)

Really? Do you really want to go down this route? Well, guess you do.
Funny meme, would you mind clarifying why you quoted me while posting it, though?
When have I connoted that I believed in the whole "she friendzoned" me thing? Never, because there is no way imaginable you could have come to that conclusion. Actually, I hate when guys say they can't get a girlfriend because "nice guys always finish last," or "she friendzoned me."

I am really interested in a response outlining to some extent how you came to the conclusion you did, because again; I never once gave any reason for you to reply with the meme you did.

EDIT:
Also, I'm not even white, so... Try again.
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/28/15

satansb wrote:


StrawHatMichael wrote:

Sorry, I stay away from that side of Tumblr...





All I heard was (white cis privileged male BS)


and all we've been hearing is "whiny bitch BS"....

maybe both sides should STFU and steer clear of one another... Kinda like what happened in the OP story.
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/28/15
Holy shit, some of y'all caused me to be serious.

Girls are not obligated to date guys who ask them out. They're not obligated to do anything with or for anyone.

Whether the dude wants the girl for sex or not, if they attack and complain when they're rejected, this still applies to them. They certainly don't deserve the bull shit dudes put them through just because they're rejected. And if you're still unsatisfied, the "friendzone" is still a good place to be. What more do you want? And of course she would feel sad when guys- her own friends did this. She wanted to be these guys friends, and all they wanted was to be romantically and/or sexually involved with her, so it just wouldn't happen. She genuinely liked these people, so of course she felt betrayed. It was a normal human response. It is a good thing to note they were young, and still learning, but she couldn't help to feel that way about it. It's all apart of this wonderful life cycle thing, unfortunately.

Sure, it is very sad to get rejected. It's very sad to love someone and not be loved back. But you have no right to attack anyone or harbor a grudge. Well, I guess, sure, go ahead, harbor a grudge, but that girl does not have to date you. That's her personal choice. Not your's. And don't you dare f*cking complain about a girl being gay, either. She doesn't have an attraction for males, and that's not her fault.

Why is this so hard to understand? Why do you think girls complain about the friendzone?

*This applies for men and everyone inbetween, too. For all your "equality" needs.



P.S. This was a beautiful read, I recommend it to anyone.

P.S.S. Finally, a good opinion via tumblr. I thought one didn't exist.

P.S.S. I read throughout this entire thread and I probs won't reply if you decided to argue with me because it's factual that people are not obligated to date people regardless of how you feel about it. Sorrynotsorry.
Sogno- 
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/8/15
um idk about this whole "friendzone" thing but wouldn't it hurt to hang around a friend who started as a friend, but you started liking him/her and when you talked about how you felt, that person said no? i mean personally it would be hard for me to hang around a person who told me they didn't feel the same. at least for a little while i would want to not hang out because i would be hurt and need time to get over it.

or it could be as i've known all along and men actually don't have feelings cat's outta the bag guys, i know how you really are
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26 / M / Socal
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Posted 3/8/15 , edited 3/28/15

galaxiias wrote:

Holy shit, some of y'all caused me to be serious.

Girls are not obligated to date guys who ask them out. They're not obligated to do anything with or for anyone.


Whether the dude wants the girl for sex or not, if they attack and complain when they're rejected, this still applies to them. They certainly don't deserve the bull shit dudes put them through just because they're rejected. And if you're still unsatisfied, the "friendzone" is still a good place to be. What more do you want? And of course she would feel sad when guys- her own friends did this. She wanted to be these guys friends, and all they wanted was to be romantically and/or sexually involved with her, so it just wouldn't happen. She genuinely liked these people, so of course she felt betrayed. It was a normal human response. It is a good thing to note they were young, and still learning, but she couldn't help to feel that way about it. It's all apart of this wonderful life cycle thing, unfortunately.

Sure, it is very sad to get rejected. It's very sad to love someone and not be loved back. But you have no right to attack anyone or harbor a grudge. Well, I guess, sure, go ahead, harbor a grudge, but that girl does not have to date you. That's her personal choice. Not your's. And don't you dare f*cking complain about a girl being gay, either. She doesn't have an attraction for males, and that's not her fault.

Why is this so hard to understand? Why do you think girls complain about the friendzone?

*This applies for men and everyone inbetween, too. For all your "equality" needs.



P.S. This was a beautiful read, I recommend it to anyone.

P.S.S. Finally, a good opinion via tumblr. I thought one didn't exist.

P.S.S. I read throughout this entire thread and I probs won't reply if you decided to argue with me because it's factual that people are not obligated to date people regardless of how you feel about it. Sorrynotsorry.


LOL

Contradicting isn't it?

And a guy is not obligated to be nice about it. Both parties are free to do whatever, without obligation.
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27 / M / Phatuum Thani, Th...
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Posted 3/9/15 , edited 3/9/15
Yeah! Friendzone!
How dare girls turn down people they're not attracted to! -rolls eyes-

Friendzone is such a stupid concept and guys who use it need to grow a pair and put down the fedora.
You can be sad that a girl you liked doesn't want to date you (it's totally normal if you actually cared for this person), but the second you start blaming her... It just shows your shitty character as a person.

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Posted 3/9/15
What bothers me the most is how we've gone from something like this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6J538b-OLRU

to the OP.

How did we go from, "fine, GTFO" to bitching about when someone GTFO's that we can't have our cake and eat it too....

In general how did we go from dealing with our shit to whining about it and blaming others for it not being "perfect".
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24 / M / the bay
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Posted 3/9/15 , edited 3/28/15

IShouldBeStudying wrote:

I think it's different "friendzoning" a guy if he just wants sex. But dudes will be totally seriously in love with a girl and get "friendzoned"

Lemme tell you some things based off of my experiences as a "friendzone veteran"

Guys: I put the word friendzone in quote because it isn't a thing that exists. It's just a term girls use because they don't want to explain to the guy that they don't want to be in a relationship with them. She either wants to be with you or she doesn't. There's no "zone" if she says she just wants to be friends, either be a real friend or move on. Trying to make it something that it's not will only make things worse.

-My advice? Get your life straight, get some stuff going for you, come back and stunt hard. Make her feel like she made a mistake. But do it subtly, you don't wanna look like you're actually trying to get revenge

Ladies: Don't get mad when a guy doesn't talk to you after you told him you didn't want to be with him. Most likely he wanted to be friends first because he didn't want to rush into anything. He wanted you two to get to know each other first before trying anything serious. You crushed everything he worked for, don't expect him to want to be around you still. If you HONESTLY want to be friends with him, give him some time to supress his feelings. Tell him what's really up. Part ways for a bit, then try it again.



TL:DR - There is no friendzone. Guys, don't try to get out of something that doesn't exist. Ladies, don't try to put guys in something that doesn't exist. Be real, tell them what's really going on.



best comment in this thread. real talk
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21 / M / Utopia
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Posted 3/9/15 , edited 3/28/15

Arbitrator wrote:


IShouldBeStudying wrote:

I think it's different "friendzoning" a guy if he just wants sex. But dudes will be totally seriously in love with a girl and get "friendzoned"

Lemme tell you some things based off of my experiences as a "friendzone veteran"

Guys: I put the word friendzone in quote because it isn't a thing that exists. It's just a term girls use because they don't want to explain to the guy that they don't want to be in a relationship with them. She either wants to be with you or she doesn't. There's no "zone" if she says she just wants to be friends, either be a real friend or move on. Trying to make it something that it's not will only make things worse.

-My advice? Get your life straight, get some stuff going for you, come back and stunt hard. Make her feel like she made a mistake. But do it subtly, you don't wanna look like you're actually trying to get revenge

Ladies: Don't get mad when a guy doesn't talk to you after you told him you didn't want to be with him. Most likely he wanted to be friends first because he didn't want to rush into anything. He wanted you two to get to know each other first before trying anything serious. You crushed everything he worked for, don't expect him to want to be around you still. If you HONESTLY want to be friends with him, give him some time to supress his feelings. Tell him what's really up. Part ways for a bit, then try it again.



TL:DR - There is no friendzone. Guys, don't try to get out of something that doesn't exist. Ladies, don't try to put guys in something that doesn't exist. Be real, tell them what's really going on.



best comment in this thread. real talk


I completely, 1000% agree.

/endthread
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M / Houston, Tx
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Posted 3/9/15 , edited 3/28/15
"maybe she friendzoned you. but you girlfriendzoned her, first."

Let me tell you something , the first time when I did ask out a girl I thought I had a chance with, I got rejected- Surprise surprise, The one thing girls has to understand is, don't ever mistaken us for being a**holes that we felt we had a chance to be with you, don't ever expect us to be your friend just so you can tell us "No, I don't like you" don't expect us to not call you names and stop being friends with you after you mentally broke us down, it's not our fault we can't separate the line of friend and more then friend, even if we could how can expect us to not feel the way we feel? there's always a 2-way street in life, so don't generalized your logic of how the story goes for your end of the stick.

Maybe I'm wrong one here, but don't go finding a loop-hole for us to be the bad guy.
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