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Post Reply You text first. No, you text first.
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F
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Posted 3/11/15 , edited 3/11/15
I don't know, in one relationship I always texted first, but in my current one he texts me first.
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22 / F / NY
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Posted 3/11/15
Who cares! It's mutual for me
Posted 3/11/15 , edited 3/11/15
:")... i text to annoy or just to be cheeky.

I'm kind of like Stewie when he was annoying his mom, I confess.
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 3/11/15
I feel like all the little 'games' that are played around with this stuff is completely unnecessary. Anytime people don't text/call/email me or anytime they decide that they're going to wait forever for like that, I just tell them 'nah, you can find someone else'. I'd rather people be upfront. If they want to text/call/email/whatever me and want to start a relationship or continue dating me, then just say so. The way you scare a person away shouldn't be by texting 'too fast', it should be by not showing interest (which is how it seems when there's no texting or calls or emails, whatever the route is that you take after the first date).

I suppose this sort of stuff is why I've always just ended up in relationships with people who were already a friend of mine. The line of communication is already open so there aren't games attempting to be played and the person and I already know each other and what we expect in a friend, if not what we expect with something more than that.

Which also brings me to the point of other sorts of 'games' played when people first start dating. I don't understand why people feel the need to test the other person, why they can't just let things evolve like they're supposed to. When I first started dating the guy I'm still with now, he tried kissing my stomach knowing I was ticklish and I pushed him off, and then he got upset because he was apparently trying to 'test' me like that (trust, supposedly?). I shoved him away and sat him down and told him right off that if he EVER did anything like that again, any of that dumb shit, he was absolutely gone and I wouldn't bat an eye. He never did it again. Luckily that was in the first couple weeks, but I know people do that shit throughout and I'm having none of it.

It's all stupid.
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22 / F / None ya business.
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Posted 3/11/15
I think either one can/should text. Just as long as it's not always the same person initiating. That's pretty one-sided.

Just talk to the person if you enjoy talking to them.
Posted 3/11/15
I just usually ask do you want me to text you or do you want to text me, or call either way. It's really not that big of an issue.
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22 / M / Chicago, IL
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Posted 3/11/15 , edited 3/11/15
*Sits on my chair looking at my computer screen as I wait for someone to say something*
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22 / M / Texas
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Posted 3/13/15
It doesn't really matter to me honestly but I'm typically an under the "radar" kind of guy so people usually contact me if they want to hang out or something otherwise I think most people think I'm dead lol outside of the individuals I see on a daily basis.
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31 / M / Bellingham WA, USA
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Posted 3/13/15 , edited 3/13/15
If a girl doesn't text first, then she isn't into you.

I say this because girls inherently like to text way more than guys. To the point of extreme annoyance: "omg why don't you text me more?" "I don't have my phone with me all the time." "just do it more anyway please im bored" "No."

I swear to God I've had something that exact exchange with at least 3 or 4 different people so far. Apparently I'm just a dick who doesn't text enough or something.
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24 / F / Johnstown, PA, USA
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Posted 3/14/15 , edited 3/14/15
For me; the guy usually has to initiate (other people in general, actually). Texting is something that I can thoughtlessly go years without doing. I wouldn't even classify myself as a caller. I'm very/overly comfortable with holding off conversation until I see people in person.
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25 / F / Hoth
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Posted 3/14/15
I used to text a lot (actually, my grad class voted me Texting Queen, to the shock of my teachers who never caught me in class), however, I've gotten to the point now that I usually only text when I actually want to have a conversation, or random nonsense convos with a close friend or family member. I hate when people text vague things like "sup?" or respond with "lol" and then get mad that you didn't answer (well, wtf was I supposed to say). But that brings me back to the initial question, does it even matter who initiates the texting (seriously, how does my computer still not recognize texting as a real word)? If you have something to say, go ahead and say it. We should be beyond gender at this point. If you feel the guy should text first, well ladies, some of you may be waiting a while. And vice versa. So, you know, if you want something, you should just take initiative. And if you're cool with waiting, then go ahead and wait (patience is a virtue, anyway). Better yet, pick up the phone and call them. Or if you're going to text, have a goal in mind - like grabbing a coffee. Sorry, but this kind of thread serves to remind me how much we forget about actual face-to-face conversation and stuff. Online profiles and such aside, people who's phone numbers you have to the point you're debating if you should text first or wait... anyway, I'm going waaaay off topic, I'm kind of even lost myself as to which point I was trying to make (did anyone even bother to read past my first two lines - doubtful).

Early bird gets the worm! Doesn't matter who texts who first.
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20 / M / gravette , arkansas
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Posted 3/14/15
i am very antisocial and i have autism so i typically want the guy to text first because i am very shy and i do not know how to keep a good conversation going and then keep it going i also find it very sweet and calming when the male texts first because i dont feel as nervous but once you get to know me people say its a shocker when i stop being shy they basically say i am just a very sweet girl all around BUT i really dont like that most people wont make that effort because of my autism they just think i am a weirdo but im not at all please people just take the time to get to know someone before you judge them i would love to have some people to talk to but i dont know the first step to making a friend i barely have any people who even understand my love for anime
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M / USA
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Posted 3/14/15
My problem with texting is that some people do not initiate the text ever. And when I stop talking to him or her, they get upset. Now I don't text anyone unless it's important because texting is a pain in the ass.
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Posted 3/14/15
Honestly, it doesn't matter as long as they reply if you ask them something.
"Do you want to go a music festival with your favorite band?" ....no reply....

Texting is so painful, but then again I get anxiety from talking on the phone.

The only two people I've ever texted just to talk are my cousin, who texts a lot, and my friend, who lives far away. Otherwise, I just text my friends to decide on meeting times/places to hang out and such.
Posted 3/14/15

yaoilover1719 wrote:

i am very antisocial and i have autism so i typically want the guy to text first because i am very shy and i do not know how to keep a good conversation going and then keep it going i also find it very sweet and calming when the male texts first because i dont feel as nervous but once you get to know me people say its a shocker when i stop being shy they basically say i am just a very sweet girl all around BUT i really dont like that most people wont make that effort because of my autism they just think i am a weirdo but im not at all please people just take the time to get to know someone before you judge them i would love to have some people to talk to but i dont know the first step to making a friend i barely have any people who even understand my love for anime


I held my breath as I read through that. Tough.
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