Post Reply Tourtured Soul
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1977 cr points
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23 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 2/4/08
She always lived her life on the edge, risking her life
Knowing that she could die every time she was alone with that knife,
Always laughing, trying to have fun,
Not knowing that her actions on other shoulders would weigh a ton.

She had a loving family, one who was always there,
Making things easy, even if they weren't fair,
She also had a best friend, one who loved her so,
Following, trying to protect her, not knowing how far she actually would go.

Things would be different, if she just took a rest,
always trying to prove herself, trying to be among the 'best',
but things were hard, no one ever seeing,
She was perfectly happy being who she was being.

She may have lied once or twice,
Always making other cry, never acting nice,
Karma got her, biting at her weakness,
Making her want to live, more and more less.

She was always depressed, even though she smiled,
While she walked in to a room, always on trial,
The ones she loved judged her too fast,
Making her not want her tormented days last.

One night it was just her and the knife,
Knowing she was finally ready, ready to end her life,
She made one cut, felt her pain drain away,
Finally putting an end to her dreadful day.

She watched the blood pour and she made another incision,
Feeling dizzy, losing her vision,
Dreams of hers now seeming wrong,
For knowing now she had not long.

She didn't cry, nor did she hide,
Knowing that this wouldn't make her problems abide,
She tried to find another way to make her feel worthy,
Of going to a heaven many only wish to see.

She put away the knife, cleaned herself up good,
Understanding she did something not to many would,
In the end she lost touch with the things that made it worth the pain,
Never to be heard from by reality again
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29 / M / St.Vincent
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Posted 2/4/08
pretty good...
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1977 cr points
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23 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 2/4/08
much obliged
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26 / F / United States
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Posted 2/5/08
Ah usually I am not big on the depressing poetic themes but I must say this one really pulled me in. Great job!
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1977 cr points
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23 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 2/5/08
thanks
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1977 cr points
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23 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 6/12/08
wow i was looking back on some old poems and this one was on my b-day cool
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Posted 6/15/08
Umm..well, i'm not one of the poeple who enjoys this kind of poetry it just pains me to read it yet this was somehow catchy in a way and the last part wen nothing seemed to actually happen i was so relieved its nice to know that U should face ur fears than taking the easy way out..as well, i wish if this girl could just realise who's around her and feel a little happiness rush thorugh her viens =] bcuz nothing is taken for granted..
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23 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 6/15/08
yea i wished she realized that too
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76 / M / california
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Posted 6/17/08
no meter no rhythm, should work on that
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1977 cr points
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23 / M / Tulsa Ok
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Posted 6/17/08

krnsoldierofGod wrote:

no meter no rhythm, should work on that


lol i love critics. Its emotional expression. the one thing in this world you cant format. but i guess some ppl still see poetry as a comercial art form with standards and boundaries . O well thanks for taking the time to read it.
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