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Post Reply Do you care how much your partner makes?
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27 / M
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Posted 3/12/15
Whether you are in a relationship or on the prowl, does it matter to you how much your better half makes?
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23 / F / AUSTRALIA
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Posted 3/12/15
Somewhat. I'm not the type of person who likes receiving things, so that's not why. It's more of the fact that I want my partner to be financially independent. He doesn't have to earn a specific minimum amount as long as he can provide for himself. I don't even know if I'm making any sense..
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21 / M / The Heroes Associ...
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Posted 3/12/15
To some extent it does.

I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who cannot support themselves or would be a drain on my economic income.

I want someone who is self sufficient and wont need to "borrow" money from me. I don't really have a issue with the amount they make, as-long as they make a decent living wage.

I dont understand how some women and or men.. can marry a partner who needs to be given an allowance to buy stuff.

I think my desire to be with someone who makes a decent income stems from the fact I have had multiple jobs since age 13 (living on an island means you have to work alot harder to get stuff since everything is expensive)
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83 / F / Bite the pillow.
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Posted 3/12/15 , edited 3/12/15

MysticGon wrote:

Whether you are in a relationship or on the prowl, does it matter to you how much your better half makes?

No, not in the least.

My current girlfriend makes about three times as much as I do. She's an executive vice president at a fairly large company and she works a ton... 12-13 hours most days with work on the weekends as well. She earns every penny.

If she was making less than me, it wouldn't matter. That's not what's important at this point.
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28 / F / British Columbia
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Posted 3/12/15
It does to a degree. The cost of living is so high that two incomes are needed to support two people and not be living paycheck to paycheck.

That said, bad credit or the inability to save money is a much, much bigger issue to me than how much money a partner makes. If someone spends money as fast as they make it with no thought to saving or having an emergency fund, that's a much bigger financial red flag than someone not making tons of money but thinking of the future.
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 3/12/15
Short Answer: No, I don't care.

Long Answer: I come from a different perspective, I'm assuming, than many of you here. I'm a. a married man with 4 children; b. have been out in the work force since I received my Masters in 2007; and c. My wife is currently a stay-at-home Mom. When we first met, in graduate school, we were both intent on getting PhDs. That didn't happen. (For the record, we both have Masters in Chemical Engineering - mine was a research based thesis masters, hers a coursework based non-thesis masters, but I digress). We started out with both of us working, first with me making more than her when we both graduated - then later with her making more than me. I worked as an environmental engineer for years (still do), she worked as a manager in a chemical testing lab and later in steel production sales (same facility, long story). When the steel mill shut down and filed for bankruptcy, she lost her job permanently. We looked for new jobs for a while, but in the end - something happened. We already had 2 children at that point and after being home with them for nearly a year while looking for work - she didn't want to go back to work. So, I pushed for a raise at work (I was pretty invaluable at that time after others quit & with my skill set) and kept my options open for other jobs. Finally found one almost 2 years ago now making significantly more money. We now also have 2 more children since our twins were born last July. But, we can pay all our bills - including our mortgage, car payment, and basic bills (utilities, etc). We have cash in the bank saved from when we both worked and still are trying to keep that nest egg there. We know things will get tight eventually, but for now - we're getting by okay. We're good with our money and are trying to spend less than we take in. That's hard sometimes as cost of living rises, but we're trying. Did I care when I made less than her? No. Did I care when I made more than her? No. Do I care now that I am the sole "breadwinner" of the house? No. That impacts how we spend our financials - but her income generation doesn't change how I feel about my wife. Not one bit.

WARNING - My life situation may not work for everyone. It works for me & my wife, but everyone's finances are different. Remember that!
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37 / M
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Posted 3/12/15
Nah, doesn't bother me if they make more than me or not. So long as we're comfortable, that's enough. I do care if my partner is doing something they love, and they're earning what they're worth at it... but that's pretty separate from if they earn more or less than I do.
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30 / M / Los Angeles
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Posted 3/12/15

MakotoKamui wrote:

Nah, doesn't bother me if they make more than me or not. So long as we're comfortable, that's enough. I do care if my partner is doing something they love, and they're earning what they're worth at it... but that's pretty separate from if they earn more or less than I do.


Yeah, pretty much sums up my feelings on the issue
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35 / M
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Posted 3/12/15 , edited 3/12/15
Money and debt matter to me.

I am not financially wealthy, so I kinda need them to be on stable ground and not swamped in debt, or expecting me to support them, or if not that buy them extravagant things.

there's no problem with someone making more than me though.

I'm also the type to make sure to have separate bank accounts as well as a joint account for bills and such. I also want to make sure my partner has at least SOME financial sense and actually contributes to said bills.

Like I said, I be poor. I cannot feed and clothe two.


Omnomlette wrote:

It does to a degree. The cost of living is so high that two incomes are needed to support two people and not be living paycheck to paycheck.

That said, bad credit or the inability to save money is a much, much bigger issue to me than how much money a partner makes. If someone spends money as fast as they make it with no thought to saving or having an emergency fund, that's a much bigger financial red flag than someone not making tons of money but thinking of the future.


Precisely.

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Posted 3/12/15

serifsansserif wrote:

Money and debt matter to me.

I am not financially wealthy, so I kinda need them to be on stable ground and not swamped in debt, or expecting me to support them, or if not that buy them extravagant things.

there's no problem with someone making more than me though.

I'm also the type to make sure to have separate bank accounts as well as a joint account for bills and such. I also want to make sure my partner has at least SOME financial sense and actually contributes to said bills.

Like I said, I be poor. I cannot feed and clothe two.


^^^^This. If I want debt and financial illiteracy I have my parents for that.....no need to add more to the mix.
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83 / F / Bite the pillow.
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Posted 3/12/15
It doesn't matter how much money my partner makes, it's how they spend it that's important.
Posted 3/12/15 , edited 3/12/15
No, I don't really care, it doesn't matter to me. Only thing thing that would matter is if they constantly kept either mooching/asking for money. It is fine to give them money when they really have a desperate need for it - but not for anything trivial. They should have a job/be actively looking for one, not just being a bum in the relationship.

Other than that, it doesn't matter how much they earn.

I care about their personality, who they are. Not how much they make or don't make.
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35 / M / Texas
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Posted 3/12/15
Nope and you've got issues if you do.
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25 / M / United States
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Posted 3/12/15
Absolutely it matters. I can hunt anyone down that causes my posterior pituitary gland to release Oxytocin; however, it is much more difficult to find someone that holds a solid income. Im in the 1% of income as is, but that doesn't mean the secondary income isn't important to me - honestly it is more the career itself rather than the money though. Females that can hold a real power position & dominate the corporate world <3 - sign me up.
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29 / F / Chicagoland ~
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Posted 3/12/15
It's important to me that the person I'm with can hold a job. It's also important to me that they don't feel like a part time job at a crappy place of work where they're getting very few hours is a real job and they can stop looking elsewhere just because they have it.

I've been with a lot of irresponsible people, and when I was younger I would've said I didn't care how much the person I'm with makes. But when I've been through one bad relationship after another where the person I'm with is so lazy that they don't have a good enough job (and aren't looking - which is the most important thing) or they don't have a vehicle (and aren't working towards one - the area I live in doesn't have public transportation so a vehicle is necessary), then well... I don't want to be with them. I've had enough years in my life where I'm the only person who has a car and who actively puts in for gas or buys the food when I'd be out with them. There's a time when a person has to put their foot down and say "I'm an adult, I want to be with another adult".

Luckily I'm with another adult though, which is nice. If I'm having a bit of trouble with money for a bit, he takes over all the spending. If he is, then I do. That's how it should be, I think.
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