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Post Reply Weirdest Lies Parents Tell Their Kids
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26 / M / Definitely not EU
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Posted 3/31/15
I remember the precise moment I knew the tooth fairy didn't exist. I had my suspicions. So when my tooth had finally fallen out, I didn't tell anyone, no one at all. I put it under the pillow later that night like you do, woke up the next day, and the tooth was still there. I remember just staring at it for a moment, reminiscing my whole life was a lie.
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24 / M / Northern California
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Posted 3/31/15
I used to be a terribly picky eater when I was younger and I also used to drink a lot of soda so I remember one time my dad told me a certain soda (either sprite or 7up) had eggplant in it. Being the gullible child that I was I didn't touch the stuff for months.
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It doesn't matter.
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Posted 3/31/15
"You don't need an inhaler anymore. You just need to learn how to breathe, watch me."
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22 / F / NY
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Posted 3/31/15
your mom is inappropriate for making such an anti-semitic comment

my parents never really actively lied to me so idk besides the whole santa/tooth fairy thing but its good to have something to look forward to during xmas/when you lost your tooth. but it wasn't with ill intent
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22 / M / Livingston, Louis...
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Posted 3/31/15
"You'll shoot your eye out kid."
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21 / M / Utopia
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Posted 3/31/15
kids don't come from mommy, they are made through magic. or another is that santa claus, easter bunny, and what have you all exist.
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M / Alaska
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Posted 4/1/15
My parents lacked the imagination to come up with believable lies - even for children.
Posted 4/1/15
you're a great child, we're proud of you
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33 / M / Baltimore, MD
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Posted 4/1/15
We got the usual Santa, Easter Bunny stuff. But other stuff? Not really. My Mom gave me a biology lesson and drew out pictures of the interior of human anatomy when I asked how babies were made as a 6-7 year old. My kids haven't asked for details, they just see my Mrs pregnant & know the baby comes out of her.

Although, since all four of our children were born via c-section (1 was emergency; 2 the pregnancy didn't progress at 39 wks so high risk, had to come out; 3-4 were twins and after 2 c-sections, that's pretty much the only option for twins) - my 5 yr old son thought all babies were cut out of their Mommy's. Had to explain that sometimes they're pushed out. I'm not sure he believes us...
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23 / M / AZ
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Posted 4/1/15
My mother told me that worms would come out of my mouth if I ever bit my nails.
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46 / M / Between yesterday...
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Posted 4/1/15
This would have required my parents to actually have a reason to lie to me. Sure they did but not when it came to the important stuff, then they were blunt and brutally honest. Mom was a nurse I knew more about human sexuality by the time I was eight than most adults did at the time, my father was an attorney the jail house tours were educational. Yup knew exactly where I didn't want to end up and why birth control is important. All by the tend age of 10 and they wonder why I never told them anything. Also after the tenth time of being told you have the same rights as a chair tends to drive home the point you aren't an adult. Ask an attorney about a kids legal rights you will be shocked.

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Posted 4/1/15
When my wound gets infected, causing a pus to come out, my parents used to say, "ohh. A train would come out. Ohh."
Posted 4/1/15

-mockingbird wrote:

you're a great child, we're proud of you


lmao that's so f'd up...

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29 / M / Nishinomiya, Japan
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Posted 4/1/15
The Tale of the Onion Lady

When I was a small child I needed to go a babysitter's house while my parents were working. One day my normal sitter had to cancel so my parents were forced to find a different person.
My mother took the recommendation of a coworker, and I was dropped off at a woman's house whose house stunk of onions. Mainly because she had onions hung all about her house. I had an awful time, mainly because she was horrifying and mean.

My father picked me up later that night and asked how I had behaved. She said I had a difficult time. Naturally, I never wanted to go back.

Afterwards I cried to my father about how I hated it there, so being the mature man he was, my father told me the most horrible thing I had ever heard.

"You know all those onions in there? Those were once children who did not behave well for her. You were lucky I got there on time today. Another hour or so and you would have ended up just like them."

I was positively mortified. Luckily I never had to go back there, but my parents did use the "Keep acting like that and we will drop you off at the "Onion Lady's" house." every time I acted up. That straightened me out REAL QUICK.
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24 / M
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Posted 4/1/15

Morbidhanson wrote:

I didn't grow up with parents but my grandma told me a few strange things.

1. Don't point at the moon. The moon goddess will get angry and attempt to cut your ears off while you are sleeping.

2. Don't shake your leg when sitting. You will lose your future wealth.

3. Each grain of rice is made with two drops of sweat. Don't waste food.

4. If an item becomes 100 years old, it comes alive. If it was abused and not taken care of, its spirit will exact revenge on the owner. Take care of your things and don't throw them away if they still work.

5. Don't store dangerous things for a long time in a dark area. It will attract evil spirits. Let the sun in once in a while.

Lots of other things but these come to mind.


Is your grandmother Japanese? A few of those sound like old Japanese tales.
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