Now... like Ikuhara, I always write stories that incorporate lesbianism, because I'm a gigantic pervert
However... were doing it differently today. This one here is meant to be cute and endearing, and is in no way NSFW. I hope you enjoy it... cause I got no intentions of ever writing a story about lesbians that's this clean again.
But clean or not... this is about girls in love, just as a warning to those of you who might find that offensive
How have you been? It’s me Jessica. I’m just writing to say how much I really do miss you. I also just wanted to say that I’m still waiting for your return. I wait because I love you, and it’s not easy being separated from you. However, I know we’ll meet again and be best friends once more. Do you remember the day we said goodbye? It was a long time ago wasn’t it? I still remember how we promised to make it the best day ever.
It really was the best day ever. And to be honest, it’s been a little hard for me without you, but I’ve been able to manage. I hope that one day we’ll get to see each other again. I’ve said this before. I said it the last day we were together, I said many times back when we would hang out, and I say it in almost every letter I send. But I love you Sasha. It’s been a little difficult not having my best friend here with me, but I can get by just remembering everything and writing to you whenever I can.
I remember the last day we spent together. I had spent the entire night prior doing every chore my mom could think of. That way when the day comes, there’ll be no distractions. I was in a bit of disbelief the moment I woke up. We were planning that day the entire week prior to it. There was something surreal about just waking up in the morning and thinking, “Today… it’s finally our special day.” I was both excited and depressed. I was excited because we spent the whole week planning out a fun day just for the two of us. However, I was also depressed, because I knew what it meant and what was to come afterwards.
You wouldn’t have guessed though; at least not at that moment. I was a little worried that showing how sad I was would ruin our special day together, so I held it in pretty well. I wonder if you could tell though. I know you can always read me like a book. It was also pretty funny how stressed I was before you came. After I took a shower and got cleaned up, I was rummaging through my closet trying to find the best thing to wear. I wanted something cute, and happy. I needed to leave a sweet impression to match how I felt. It’s pretty silly to think of, it was almost like I was getting ready for a date.
I kinda looked silly, but I think I did choose the right outfit. I wore that frilly pink skirt that you used to make fun of me for wearing. I had on my white blouse, and even put that red bow in my hair again. I chose the skirt and the bow because they’re all things I would wear in the past. I thought maybe it would remind you of all the stuff we did as kids. I know you laughed a little when you saw me. I could tell you thought it looked a little childish, even though you told me you were laughing cause it was cute.
Once I was completely ready, I just waited for you to come over. The pressure of what this day meant for us left me very anxious. I felt a strong burden, as if it was my job to make this the best day ever. I’m sure you knew that this was much different than the times we usually spent together. I anxiously waited for you to knock on the door and for us to go hang out. The first knock that day was actually just from the mailman. I was pretty let down when that happened. However, I still recall the moment you did arrive. You came right on time like you said you were. I don’t know why I was worried about you being late.
I remember how excited I was when I opened the door and you were there waiting for me. I know I probably reacted a little weirdly. I was clearly supposed to be expecting you, yet I almost flinched when I saw you. I don’t know why I was taken aback. I guess I was surprised you came right on the dot. I know I stared at you a little. However, I went into a state of deep thought as soon as my eyes met yours that moment. My heart began to flutter a little bit, and I was completely speechless. I must have seemed pretty awkward just looking at you; eyes wide open and mouth agape. I was thinking about how we were going to enjoy this day to the fullest, as well as accept the reality of what this day was gonna mean.
When I walked out the porch, you immediately wrapped me in a hug. Even though we do this all the time, the moment seemed slightly different. I froze in place as your arms thrust towards me. As I was still frozen, I felt myself melt in the warmth of your embrace. It seemed by my startled disposition that I was unsettled or uncomfortable. In reality being in your arms provided me comfort and made me feel safe. I was just taken by surprise and didn’t respond in as warm of a way as I felt.
It makes sense you wouldn’t act as nervous around me as I did around you. You didn’t need to say anything though, I felt the intensity of that hug. It was like that of an older sister, hugging her young sibling. You gave me a sense of security. I could see how much you cared for me, but I could also feel that you were sad about what today was too.
As you hugged me, you shouted, “Hey Jenny”
“Hi Sasha”, I said.
“So, you’re all set today right?”
“Right let’s go”
You probably can recall how much I smiled at that moment. At first it was just the subtle arch of my lips raising into a soft grin. However, as time passed, I was overcome with joy and held a bright, glowing smile all day. Before that you could see a little bit of anxiety in my face. I think you probably noticed that. However, as we spoke, it all began to melt away. I couldn’t help it, I was just happy to see you. I was also happy to see that the weather was nice. It was a hot, yet comfortable August day. Our plan was to go to the fair again. The same fair we’d visit every year. If it were raining that day and we couldn’t go, I probably would have broke down and started crying right there. Luckily the birds were chirping, the bees were buzzing, and the flowers were all in full bloom.
You know I’m shy around everyone; even around you to some extend. I reached my hand out and waited until you placed your hand in mind. I’m pretty sure I was blushing really hard that moment. I thought since this was a really special occasion, we might as well hold hands. Don’t be creeped out when I say this, but I really love holding your hand. Your hands are always so warm and soft. Okay, I sound creepy don’t I? Let’s just say I feel really safe and happy when you hold my hand. Just like when I was little and we used to hold hands all the time. I don’t think much of it, I just like the feeling. Though we probably gave a lot of people the wrong ideas.
I remember the conversation we had on the way there. In fact, I remember everything about the whole walk there. Each step we took still remains fresh into my mind. It was a little weird to say the least, people were looking at us because we held hands. I’m pretty sure their idea of it was a lot less innocent than ours. I looked over at you. You tried to hide it, but I could see you blushing a little and smiling harder when you noticed me. I don’t blame you, it might have been a little embarrassing for me if I saw you looking over smiling at me. I know you aren’t as insecure about the intimacy of our relationship, but I am.
You immediately began making a little bit of small talk, saying, “So? We’re going to the fair?”
“That’s great, I haven’t been there since last year”
“You know that’s where we first met right?”
“You were 4, I was 3… Remember when I dropped my snowcone”
“Nnnnnnnn…. no, can’t recall it”
“Really… I dropped my snowcone and started crying, then you gave me yours even though I was a stranger”
I saw your eyes lit up as you smiled and tilted your head back saying, “Oh yea, that, and the next morning I found out you and I were neighbors”
“Yea”, I said
“That was really good, cause I didn’t really know anyone there. I was pretty new to the neighborhood”
“Well… I didn’t really have any friends either.”
“But I’m glad I met you there”
The sentimental nature of that moment was further solidified by the memory of our first meeting. It felt like that fair was the center of both our fates. So many memories happened there. We probably never would have gotten so close without it. I’d like to take the time to talk about it here in this letter. I’m sure you remember it even better than I, but I just wanna reflect on it. Every time I think about that moment, my heart begins to soar. Once again, I feel embarrassed writing this, but for a long time, I was totally obsessed with that moment. As a kid, I remember snuggling my pillow and rolling around in bed. The entire time, I’d be focusing on how sweet you were to me. When the sappy emotions would overcome me, I’d giggle or even tear up.
It was just such a simple, yet powerful moment to me. As I said, I was three years old and just visiting the fair. My mom and dad were with me, holding my hand. I had just gotten a delicious cherry snowcone. It was the same kind I get everytime I go there, but this time, it was a particularly sweet one. Of course that’s most likely just my memories romanticizing things. Anyways, I was waddling down the fairground, when I accidently dropped it. The whole thing went right on the ground. I started crying afterwards, that’s when you came along. You were also walking hand in hand with your parents. I hadn’t seen you yet, as I was still sobbing to myself and covering my eyes. My attention was drawn when I felt a subtle tap of the shoulder. As I opened my eyes, I saw you standing in front of me like an angel. You were about the same age as me, and maybe just a centimeter taller. I think that moment was when I began having feelings for you.
You were so pretty; even back then. I was so enamoured at the site of you, that I gasped lightly when I opened my eyes. Your face filled me with both envy and adoration. Your cute, small nose and lips; your soft, kissable, red cheeks; and of course, your eyes. You had the biggest, most darling blue eyes I’d seen yet. In my usual awkward fashion, I just stopped and stared. Then, for the first time, I felt the touch of your hand against mine. You handed your snowcone to me. You cupped our hands around mine as you stared intensely into my eyes. Even though I was holding a cup of shaved ice, your hands still felt warm. You smiled and said, “Here”
“Is this? For me?”, I asked nervously. I had just finished crying, so my voice was slightly trembling and I stammered a little.
I wiped away my tears, smiled sweetly, and said, “Thank you”
I kept my eyes focus on you as you walked away. All the way up until you glanced by and smiled. It caught my off guard and made me a little embarrassed. After that I ate my snowcone and my family went home. I thought about you that whole night. I even lost sleep just thinking about you. The image of your cute, innocent smile and angelic face was burned into my mind. This was all up until the next day. It appeared the reason your face left such an impression was because I’d seen you before. You lived in my neighborhood. I had actually seen you many times before that. Once I saw you again the next day, I knew our meeting was fate destined. It was the beginning of our beautiful friendship.
Those memories hold a very special place in my heart. On our special day, when we were going on the way to the fair, I was a little shocked you forgot that moment so easily. I was even more shocked that the memory popped in my head in the first place. However, for some reason I can’t explain, it was all I could think about on our walk there. On that day I wondered, "How ironic that such a beautiful moment would be caught in my mind on today of all days."
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As we talked, I began getting butterflies in my stomach. I think the reason I got them was because I was anxious about time. I’m always the type to get worried easily, you see. I was worried if we didn’t hurry up and spend the whole day doing something fun, then our special day together would be wasted. I quickly changed the subject. I had a feeling the conversation was going to shift towards the reality of what this day means. I wanted to stay ignorant a little longer so I asked, “So? Whatcha wanna ride first?”
“I’m not sure… How about the Power Tower?”
The moment I heard you mention that cruel contraption, I felt a chill run down my spine. I immediately tightened the grip of my hand, which was holding yours at the moment. Naturally you turned back and looked at me inquisitively. I couldn't tell if you were concerned or amused or both. The fear and loathing was right there on my face. Also, I saw you cracking up when I began getting scared.. not cool Sasha. Wanting some comfort, I took both my hands and held onto one of yours as I said in a trembling voice “What? No… Not the power tower”
“Yes, the Power Tower”
“I hate the Power Tower”
“How do you know? Have you rode the Power Tower?”
“Of course not… just look at it.”
The Power Tower was a tall, gigantic, evil looking behemoth. It’s a gigantic monolith of doom that looks down upon the entire fair. I had never rode it because the idea scared me to death. It slowly ascends into the sky, before dropping down at high speeds. I know it stops before it hits the ground, but still… it was scary to me. This was the only ride I’ve never rode. I gulped at the very thought, but you had a look of excitement. I know you loved the Power Tower, and always wanted to ride it with me. I was always too afraid, so I just waited till you were off.
You squeezed my hand and said, “Come on, today, you and me gotta ride the Power Tower”
“Are you crazy… I’ll faint… or scream… or cry!!!”
“Yea, but you know after today I’l....”
“Okay sure, we’ll do it”
I’m sure you noticed how abruptly I cut you off. For a second you looked a little surprised, since I’m not that talkative. However, when I saw the subtle smile you made, I could tell you understood why I did that. I didn’t wanna hear you talk about what this day truly meant. Being reminded of it could have ruined our time. Also, due to today being what it is, I felt like I owed it to you to join you on that ride. After all, there’s a chance we might not get to.
It wasn’t long before we made it. On the way there we made some small talk, commenting on the weather, scenery and the people passing by. It seems like we would never shut up at all. Until we finally made it to the fair, and bought ourselves tickets. Once we got in, my eyes began gleaming with nostalgia. Everything was as colorful and nice as I remember it was. Every square inch of this place had a special meaning to me. The same game booths were there. There hadn’t been any changes in the rides in years. In fact, that fair is still the exact same today. These large, towering rides made the place look like a steel junge. Clowns and entertainers walked around performing silly parlor tricks. You remember how easily impressed I used to be as a kid. Those little tricks are still cool in my eyes.
You ran right over to the Power Tower. If we weren’t holding hands, I’d probably have been unable to catch up with you. You were dragging me along faster than my legs could take me. There was a fairly short line to the Power Tower, so we didn’t need to wait long. I didn’t wanna continue and get on. Really, I just felt obliged to it. You probably noticed the shortness of my steps, and the way I recoiled a little as we entered. You were laughing on the inside. Admit it, I know you were. However, your eagerness was oddly comforting. Maybe seeing how excited you were made me a little less afraid. We sat down beside each other, and allowed the airlock restraints to hold us in place.
I was shaking a little bit, especially when everyone boarded and the ride opperater guy said, “Alright everyone, the Power Tower is in motion.” The ride has a way of coming up slowly. From this perspective, I couldn’t see where we were. That meant the fall was going to surprise me. I wasn’t afraid of heights, but I still got nervous the higher we went. While I was shaking and holding the restraints for dear life, I felt your hand touch the top of mine. Your soft touch eased some of my fears. We were close enough for you to reach your arm out and gently pat the top of my hand to comfort me. It was very effective, I stopped shaking a little bit and just looked at you. I wanted to smile, but I was just too afraid of when the Power Tower was going to drop.
All of a sudden I hear a large metal clank, and we flew to the ground. It caught me by surprise, startling me. I screamed as loud as possible. My body was tense and my eyes were closed. The speed we were falling was greater than that of a boldier tossed off a building. For a moment I forgot I was even on a ride. I felt like I was really falling. When it stopped, my body was jerked back and the force made my stomach hurt. My eyes were still closed and I was still trembling all up until the restraints were lifted. Once the black bars that held us down finally came up, and my arms were free.
I am a cry baby; let’s just face it. I’ve always been one no matter how old I get. But luckilly I didn’t cry this time though, and I’m proud of that. Maybe that’s because without even thinking, I instinctively shot over to your side and held onto your arm. Both of my arms were wrapped completely around your bicep. My face was buried in your shoulder in fear. Even though the ride was over I was still a little afraid and needed you to comfort me. I didn’t calm down until helped me out. I remember how you put your other arm over my shoulder and drew me in closer to you. Your hand went around the back of my head as you drew me into a sweet embrace. I could feel the warmth of our cheeks against each other. You spoke in a soft tone, still softly giggling, “Hey, come on now, that wasn’t so bad was it?” Still shaken up, all I could do was nod my head up and down. You just laughed, and began stroking my hair tenderly. Were you laughing to lighten the mood? Or were you laughing because me being scared was either cute or funny to you? I really don’t know.
I raised my head up and looked over at you. I finally relaxed when I felt the comforting touch of your hands and saw your glistening smile. I then thought about how pathetic I must have looked. At least I didn’t start crying this time. You said, “Hey, let’s get off, I gotta make this up to you.” Still holding onto you, we got up and left the ride. With you walking off smiling and me holding you and resting my head against you, we must have given lots of people the wrong idea. The energy you had must counteracted with my fear. I didn’t even notice how awkward I looked, as I continued hanging onto your arm. You laughed and said, “So… you can let go of me now”
I jumped back as it finally sunk in how weird I was acting. I turned my face to hide my blush, and nervously patted myself on the back of the head. I then remarked, “Well, it wasn’t that bad”
“Right”, you replied, “You were going to cry out there”
“I was not”
“yea… anyways thanks for riding that with me. I can already tell today is going to be a fun day”
Looking back now, your words have more meaning. Since you were there, riding that Power Tower wasn’t really that scary. I think I just got a little emotional and overreacted. However, you could say the experience was overall, kind of fun. It gave me an excuse to hold your arm and cower into your shoulder. It’s embarrassing that I did that, but looking back, I could see how some could call that “cute.”
We continued walking through the fair and admiring the lively, colorful sights. I saw you glancing over at all of the game stands before stopping. You stopped by a gun stand. The man there had a large silly mustache and help a plastic gun with a cork on the muzzle of it. You were clearly supposed to knock down paper cups by shooting wine corks at them. You turned to me and said, “Here, I’ll make up for forcing you to ride that thing”
You then walked over to the man and said, “Give me a go with that thing”
“Sure”, he said as he smiled and twirled his mustache, “Try to hit one of these paper cups with this here gun, and you gotta prize”
I just stood back and watched curiously. My hands were folded and my knees twitched in anticipation. I think I was just touched that you were willing to take the time and try to win me something. “Are you kidding?”, you said, “Just knock one of those cups down? That’s easy”
He gave a devilish grin and say “Not as easy as you may think. You get three tries, good luck”
You handed him the money and took hold of the plastic rifle. You fired the first shot, and the cup wouldn’t budge. I was shocked that a paper cup wouldn’t be knocked down from a cork being shot at it. I immediately knew something was up. You shouted, “Hey, I hit it right in the center”
“Yea, but you gotta knock it down to get a prize”
You fired again, also hitting it and failing to take it down. I saw you getting a little frustrated at this. You got mad and turned to the man saying, “Hey what gives? I want my money back”
“Don’t sweat it missy, you still got one more try”
You gave it one more go. I’ll admit right now, you looked really cool. On that last shot, you sighed and stood there almost robotically. There were no visible emotions on your face, and you stood adjusting your aim slowly. Once you were in position, it was as if you were frozen solid. Once you took that shot, the cork shot out and ripped the edge of the cup. You then stood up shouting, “See? This game is rigged, the cups obviously glued to the table”
The man’s face grew concerned, and sweat was trickling down his neck. While you were chewing him out, people stopped and stared at him. His face turned red as he chuckled nervously. He picked up a stuffed kitten, handed it to you and said, “Uh… looks like we have a winner. Just please go now”
“Alrighty”, you said grinning mockingly at him.
Afterwards you walked over and gave it to me. It was light brown, furry stuffed kitten. I held it in my arms, cradling it, as I said, “Thank you Sasha, it’s so cute”
“No problem, hey, come on, let’s go ride something”
“Okay I said”
I reached out my palm, and we once again walked through the fair ground. I snuggled my new kitten plushy in one hand, and held your hand with my other. That stuffed animal meant a lot to me. It was cute and adorable, but it was also a gift from you to me. That made it so much special. Nowaday, whenever I feel like hugging you, I cuddle that kitten and think about you. I know how silly it sounds, but it’s like the closest thing I have to you being here with me.
For the rest of the day, I dragged you around taking you on all the rides I wanted. Part of me was a little worried you might not be as exciting going on the ones I wanted, but I knew from the look on your face that you were also having a fun time. The first ride I picked after that was the Galactic Explorer. That big UFO that spun around like a gyroscope. We both were screaming the whole time, not in fear, but in excitement. After that came the Speed Swings, which also spun us around. It was basically some chairs attached to cables that were swung around in a circle. That ride was a little slow, but still lots of fun. After getting something to eat, we rode the Fireball. That was the closest thing this little fair had to a roller coaster. It’s basically just a single loop that that cart rides over and over. We saved it for last, because it was our favorite.
It was kind of late in the afternoon when we were done. We rode all the fun rides, and I even had a stuffed animal to remember this day by. Whenever I see that kitten you won me, it reminds me of that special day that you and me shared together. I’ll never get rid of it. In fact, I still sleep with that thing to this day. Do you remember how we gazed at the bright colorful lights that decorated all the rides after it was all over? You didn’t even try to hide the sentimental look in your eyes. We were staring back at it for almost a minute before I we finally went home. The whole time I was squeezing and holding my new plushy, not wanting this moment to end.
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Naturally, I was filled with emotion. I was very happy to have spent that day with you. Having you there by my side left a warm afterglow inside my heart. It was truly a euphoric moment where I looked back on all the fun we had, and let the sentiment grow within me. I focused on the excitement and wonder that grew in my heart. The feelings we had and the love that we felt served to distract us from the reality of that day. It was coming to a close, so it was inevitable that I’d have to face the true meaning of what this day entailed. However, I just couldn’t think about it right at that moment.
I was so overjoyed at what we did, that I wanted to embrace you and be as close as I could. Even at that very moment I thought about the shy, nervous behavior I displayed earlier that morning. I can only assume having fun opened me up a little. I hooked my arm around yours, and leaned towards your side as we walked home. At this moment I didn’t care what any passersby would think. I thought I might have been embarrassing you, but when I saw your subtle, yet tender smile, I was okay. You probably saw me as like a sweet innocent child, holding her stuffed kitty and clinging to your arm. I relaxed as my temple rested on the blade of your shoulders, nuzzling into you gently. I felt comfortable enough to just fall asleep on you. I miss the way my hair was rubbing against the side of your face because I was so close to you.
You said, “So how was that?”
“It was wonderful”, I said passionately
“You think so? Yea, it was pretty fun”
“Today isn’t over yet”
“You’re right, but I bet there’s not much to do at home”
“Of course there is, we can hang out, stay up late, and just talk”
“Like when we were kids? Sure, sounds good”
When we got home, dinner was waiting for us. My mom cooked us some baked chicken, just like she used to when we’d have family get-togethers. We both ate like pigs before it got late and we went upstairs to my room. We both took turns taking a shower and getting changed into our PJ’s. Of course, you weren’t there, that’d be weird, but when I was taking a shower, I was very depressed. I felt barely washed, I just hung my head low and let the water fall upon my skin. I knew taking a shower meant that it was going to be time to go to bed soon. I really didn’t want this day to end. I was really just expressing the feeling that lingered above my head all day. I just waited to put on my sad face when you weren’t right there.
When I got back and got dressed, I got on the bed close to you. You were just sitting criss-cross and looking towards the ceiling, when I hopped on the bed. I sat on my knees, and leaned in close to you. My face was about kissing distance away from yours. I eyed you passionately and smiled warmly. You blushed slightly when you saw how close I was. I said, “Hey, let’s watch a movie”
“For old times sake? Sure. That was always how we ended a slumber party”
“I know. I remember”
“So what do you have in mind”
You scooted back a little and said, “Here, sit right here”
“On my lap silly”
“Oh, okay”, I said with an embarrassed tone. When you slaw my blush, I noticed that you smiled slightly harder. I rested my bottom upon your lap and leaned back into you. You took a large, thick blanket and placed it on top of it.. We drew in closer and tightened out embrace to make room. The warmth we felt was so comforting that I could have fallen asleep right there on your lap. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but your boobs are really soft. They were acting as two big pillows for my back. So I didn’t mind having them pressed against my back.
I turned a little to gaze into your beautiful eyes. You’re face is just so much prettier up close. That tender moment reminded me of the first time I glanced passionately at you. It was all those years ago when I stared back at a four year old girl. Many years later, that girl hasn’t gotten any less cuter. She still has the same adorable compact nose, and soft, supple lips. Her cheeks are still soft, firm and kissable. Her eyes still haunt me with their vibrant ocean-like hue. That girl is you.
As we sat and admired each other like we were lovers, you did a few things that surprised me. You leaned your face into mine, nuzzling the sides of my cheek with your own. I wish you would have been so touchy feely more often. I was enthralled with just how silky smooth your skin was. Your face was very warm as it pressed up against mine. You seemed so peaceful. When you return to me, lets sit this close together again.
We started the movie and watched it all the way through. I’ve seen Titanic about a hundred and sixty seven times. And it keeps getting funnier every single time I see it. While the movie ran you would momentarily pat my head and stroke my hair as if you were petting a kitten. When the sad parts of the movie began, I felt you hold my hand. I’m not sure if was because you were sad or you thought I was sad. I wasn’t sad about the movie; it was way too corny for that. I didn’t mind though, just because it gave me an excuse to hold your hand. I’m a lucky to girl to have a friend that I can be so intimate with. Which is why I got so emotional after it was over
I had kept the reality of what this day was deep inside me, but I finally had to express it when the movie was over. Today was our last day together. When you told me you were moving away a week ago, and I cried then. I didn’t want to ruin our day by getting emotional, so I kept the thought in the farthest reaches of my mind. However, when I saw that the day was about to end, I couldn’t hold it in anymore. We were still clung next to each other, wrapped in a blanket. Both of my arms were clung to the stuffed kitten you bought me. As the thought of you leaving was amplified, I began shedding tears.
You turned and saw me, as the tears were flowing down you face. I kept holding my kitty as I clenched my face and bawled to myself. My tear soaked eyes were buried into it’s fur as I hid myself. As I’d expected, you were there to try and comfort me through the tears. I felt you wrap your arms around my from behind. You said, “Come on now, that movie wasn’t that sad, we’ve seen it before”
“It’s not that”
“What is it? Oh… I see”
“I just don’t get why you have to move”
“It’s okay, I don’t wanna move either. I’m just happy to have spend it with you”
By this time, my emotions took control over me and I began to lightly sob. I was breathing hard to keep myself for getting too loud. I still had to take the opportunity to let my heart bleed out in front of you. I felt such intense sorrow, and all I could think about was how lonely I would be. You had been by my side for as long as I could remember. The idea of you leaving and me never being able to hang out with you was devastating. I hopelessly cried to myself right in front of you, even though I wanted to avoid doing this. You drew me in close and held me as tight as you could.
When I looked up, I saw the tender expression of your face. You arms embraced me delicately, and I rested my head against your chest. Even though my face was clearly right up against your breast, I couldn’t really think about anything except the coming goodbye. I was still failing to hold back my cries, but you continued comforting me. I felt the warm touch of your hand as you felt the side of my face. You placed it on the back of my head, and gently caressed my the back of my hand with your other hand. As I continued crying I heard you say, “Shhhh… It’s okay Jenny. I’m still here”
“But, tomorrow, you’re going to leave”
“It’s okay, don’t cry. You know I’ll still be there for you? Right?”
You drew in closer, with your hand still gently cupping my head, and kissed me. I was taken aback, but too emotionally distraught to comment on it. I just closed my eyes and let your land your soft lips up against mine. My body was greeted with a rushing, tingling sensation the moment our lips met. I felt the compassion and tenderness in every second of our kiss. The sweet sensation of your warm supple lips was unforgettable. I wanted you to lie beside me forever and kiss away all my tears.
I opened my eyes and looked back at you. I know you didn’t mean anything weird like that. Besides, knowing you, you probably have a boyfriend where you live already. The kisses we share were much like the ones who gave each other when we were young. Sometimes we’d kiss to greet, or when one of us was afraid. I don’t think there’s any need for us to change. I know you aren’t into girls like that. Maybe I’ll get a boyfriend in the time we’re apart too. However, I know you can expect a nice, big kiss the next time we see each other.
I still wasn’t exactly calm after that. In fact, showing me all this love was only making me cry worse. So we just hugged the night away. I felt like a baby in your arms; one who needed to be cradled and comforted. This was just one of those times where I wasn’t afraid to show my pathetic side. My face was buried in your shoulder as I shed the last of my tears. I could relax in your arms.
Once I was done weeping, you stood by my side to comfort me. I was curled up into you as closely as I could be. I loved the gentle way your caressed my back. You were whisperingsoftly in my ears, telling me it will be okay. We finally laid down together on the bed. Our faces were but an inch apart. Your arm was around my back, pressing our bodies closely together. I also had my arms around you, clinging to you for comfort. You said to me, “Hey, come on now. Can you smile for me?” I tried to, but I still felt hurt knowing our time together was ending. I just stood there, trying to fight the sad expression that was on my face.
You slowly rubbed your nose against the tip of mine. It tickled and made my smile a bit. “See? That’s what I like to see”, you said.
As my face grew sour again, I said, “I just wish I could stay with you longer”
“Me too, but you know what? As soon as I get to my new home, I’m going to write you, and call you and everything”
“Yea, it’ll be like I never left, and one day, I’ll be back”
“Of course I will, I don’t know when, but I’ll be back here to come see you”
“Of course I promise, I’ll never forget about you, you just need to wait for me”
I nodded my head, smiling and saying, “Okay. I promise I’ll wait for you”
“then, let’s stay like this, for the rest of the night”
I held onto you a little tighter, and we snuggled each other all night. You kissed my cheek once more and said, “Good night Jenny” It brought back memories of when we were younger. Often times we’d share the bed when one of us was scared or sad. This was one of those times where I had to just let loose and do whatever it took to make myself feel safe and secure. That’s why I was so comfortable falling asleep in your arms that night. Standards of what’s appropriate between two friends was no longer relevant to me.
I woke up that morning, and you were already up getting dressed. I stood up and said, “Sasha?”
“My rides almost here, I’m about to leave”
“Oh”, I said. So this was finally the moment. As soon as I get changed and get dressed, it’ll be time to say goodbye. This felt unreal. I couldn’t believe this day was actually coming. But I think nothing could really prepare me.”
I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and ate breakfast as usual. I did it as slowly as I could. I guess I wanted to waste time and delay the inevitable. I wanted to drag out our time together as much as I could. When we walked outside the front door and I saw your mom waiting in the car, all these horrible realities came as me at once. As much as I tried to maintain composure, it was clear I was only about five seconds away from crying.
Then all of a sudden you turned and placed your hand gently upon my face. You said, “This is gonna be the last time we see each other for a while, and don’t want the last thing I see to be your crying face, so smile for me.”
With your hands still grasping my cheeks, you looked in my eyes and continued, “Can you do that? Just smile for me...I promise, even if it takes me ten years. I will come back, and I will see you again. So just hold on till then okay? I know we’ll meet again some sunny day”
As touched as I was, I still could not smile or respond. I just keep my head down. That was when you put your arms around me for the final time. You suddenly kissed the back part of my ear while we were hugging. You knew I was ticklish there. Even with the tears pouring down my face, I jumped backwards giggling. You then said, “See, made you smile”
In honor of your request, I held onto that smile the whole time you were leaving. I refused to from until your mom’s car was out of my sight. All I could think then was, “Wow, it’s finally over.” What can I do now but wait? How would I survive without. Even now as I write this, I really don’t know. All I know now is that I’ll always be waiting for you. And when you come back, we might end up being more than friends. When you do come back, I might not be able to contain myself with just a hug and kiss. Once you come back, I’ll never let you go again, so we’ll have plenty of time to think about who we want to be.
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