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Post Reply That moment when you realize that you have a crush.
Posted 4/12/15 , edited 4/12/15

PruBenAzul wrote:


Dark_Childe wrote:

I've broken hearts and I've had my heart broken. breaking someone elses' heart has to feel the worst.


Oh yeah. Love is not something...I like. I've had my heart shredded and then fed back to me. Crushes are more like, "I like you and you have potential." But this time, there's so much chemistry, it's honestly scaring the crap out of me. It doesn't help that she's a girl and I don't want to put anyone through that kind of hatred of being in a gay relationship. So I'm really torn about this crush. I really like her, but I don't want to date her at the same time. I don't date casually.

Does that make sense?



I know the difference between love and infatuation, having experienced and lost both <.<

Does it make sense?

Yeah, it does. You're not thinking only of yourself, and of what kind of scenario you might be putting her in, with discrimination in the world we live in. I can only imagine how it might feel, if I could guess, like being in a minefield. Just try to find out more about her situation and how things in her life are set up, with her family, work, and friends, if you already know and that advice doesn't help, (carefully) tell her how you feel, I know its hard, but thats how you know. Gain as much information as you can so you can make sound judgements and minimalize loss for all sides. Sorry, its my best guess, I'm tired.
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Posted 4/12/15
There are so many beautiful people nowadays.

These hos ain't loyal.
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25 / M / Seattle, WA, USA
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Posted 4/12/15
Not since I was like 10
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Posted 4/12/15
I have felt that... that's why I drink so much today
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Posted 4/12/15 , edited 4/13/15
It has happened twice. The first one was the girl who ended up giving me my first several kisses, the second one was the only person I attempted a long-distance relationship with. Neither ended up working out, but that's how things go, I guess. I'm still on good terms with all my exes.

I've also met a few girls who clicked with me who were willing but we never got together. Sometimes, the time and place are unfavorable. Those factors seem to always work against me but I can't really complain because I usually end up enjoying being by myself more. I also seem to attract more taken girls than single ones, so there are moral issues as well.
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21 / M / Canada
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Posted 4/12/15
I haven't had a crush on anyone for awhile... I feel like i'm losing something... *long sigh*
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Posted 4/12/15 , edited 4/13/15
Yea. And then you realize they had a crush on your as well, but you only realize that too late because you never try to make your move. Happened all the time back in high school.

And when your friends tells you, "You like her/him and he/she likes you back. Just go out already."

But you're in denial by saying, "Nah, we're just friends." or "Nah, she/he doesn't think of my like that."
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Posted 4/12/15
When I was younger I used to, but now since I'm old I don't. I've been emotionally beaten up over the years. There's nothing as soul crushing than to be rejected by someone who you longed after from afar.

There's a movie quote that goes, "When you're old your heart dies."

That is not true. When you're old the emotional toxin of rejection finally done it work and killed your heart.
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Posted 4/13/15

PruBenAzul wrote:

Have you ever just crushed on someone shortly after meeting them? Like instant chemistry where all of the sudden, you've just met this person but you've already been talking to them for hours and everyday since?

Yeah.

But geeze, I'm so conflicted because I dislike relationships and long distance ones are even worse..but she's just so...I would date her. I would seriously and honestly date her.


@OP did you meet the girl at a convention? I am just curious cause I go to many conventions but I never meet anyone whom liked me or I like them in the way you describe.. I am jealous really... good for you
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Posted 4/13/15
It's ironic. I drink to forget her, but the more I drink, the more I think about her
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22 / F / San Carlos city
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Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/13/15
Yea, so much so that its actually scaring me because I've never liked someone so much.. even in real life.
And up to this day I'm still not sure what that person's gender is
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Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/13/15
Instant Physical Attraction? Yes, and it's gotten me into some really sticky situations. That was back when I really didn't know what I wanted from a relationship or even what my type really is. Finally figured it out though. I sometimes get that instant attraction but if their personality sucks or they are dumber than rocks that attractions quickly deflates.

Instantaneous love? Like full-on "holy crap I love everything about this person, even their flaws"? No. I doubt anyone has ever truly felt that way. Physical attraction followed by falling in love with who they are is clearly a thing, but it isn't love at first sight.

I have fallen in love with someone purely for their intelligence and personality however, and that is probably the most wonderful realization a person can have. Because it is that moment that you truly realize you have fallen in love with someone purely for who they are and not what they look like.


radzero wrote:

When I was younger I used to, but now since I'm old I don't. I've been emotionally beaten up over the years. There's nothing as soul crushing than to be rejected by someone who you longed after from afar.

There's a movie quote that goes, "When you're old your heart dies."

That is not true. When you're old the emotional toxin of rejection finally done it work and killed your heart.


Ehh I'd say longing after for someone for awhile, finally dating them and actually being happy with how your life is going, only to find out she was seeing someone else before the two of you hooked up is fairly up there. That's like real life NTR but you're the one doing it and then you have to live with yourself after the fact and no one comes out of that situation unscarred. The guilt definitely falls under the category of soul crushing (Yes this does happen to people, life sucks).
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Posted 4/13/15

Rawlfred wrote:

I haven't had a crush on anyone for awhile... I feel like i'm losing something... *long sigh*


You're 20 years old. Go find something you love to do and worry about all that romance shit later.
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28 / M / Canada
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Posted 4/13/15
I've never had a crush on someone per se, though I have wondered what it would be like to date a couple people I've met. I'm the type that's more in tune with the social atmosphere than my own emotions, which is the prime cause of romantic "denseness", as far as I can tell. I can entertain possibilities, imagine how a relationship might go if it were to happen, but never get to the point of wanting it to, despite how idealized my inner rehearsals might be. By the time I'm close enough to someone to be invested in whether or not they stay in my life, the relationship's style has usually been "set" to friendship, and changing it to something else seems potentially less comfortable. The long and short of it is that I'm essentially the type who lets romance find me rather than looking for it. As such, I've only been in one relationship to date, with an acquaintance who confessed to me, and while it didn't work out in the end, it was a nice experience, and I got a close friend out of it, as we broke up amicably.

My point for the OP is that people like me exist - in fact, we're not at all uncommon, and the person you're crushing on might be one. Speaking for myself, I'm basically uninterested in any given person until they offer me a connection of some sort. I see this kind of behaviour demonized a lot, as it seems fairly shallow on the surface, but people neglect to notice that this type of person is often extremely loyal once a relationship has been established and fostered. We'll be okay with (and just okay with) entering a romantic relationship, but once that relationship has developed, and as long as it's going well, you've basically got us hooked for life, because we want our relationships simple and drama-free.

What I mean to say is basically the same thing you'll hear from countless other people: if you want to get close to somebody, make a move! They might not be into you now, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're not willing to try it out given the chance, and the bonding that occurs over time is far stronger than initial attraction could ever be. (Though I admit that that's coming from my biased view as someone who's never felt initial attraction.)
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Posted 4/13/15
The only "Crush" I have is preceded by Diet Orange.
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