First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  Last
Post Reply Would you have a problem if a friend told you they were "ex-gay"?
5613 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/13/15

ilikeotherstuff wrote:

Ehhmm
Doesn't look like anyone else will say it, so here.
I'm pretty sure it's not possible to be "ex-gay".
You either are or you aren't.

As for your friends seeming happier, think about it like this:
If you were constantly getting bashed on by your own "friends" and "family" for wearing your favorite shirt
&when you finally took it off &put on one they bought for you, you started getting compliments.
Would you not be happy with the change of atmosphere?

On one hand, nobody throws you any weird disapproving looks. On the other hand you no longer get to wear your favorite shirt.
It's a momentary happiness.


Except that's not the case.
None of these people were pressured by thier family or anyone. Most of them said something like, "It felt wrong" or "God showed me the way". So it's something they did all on their own.

And well, science really isn't capable of validating the impossiblity of that. As it would be the equivelent of trying to disprove God. Nor do I think Scientists can put boarders on what our minds can do within itself
17380 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
23 / M
Offline
Posted 4/13/15
Lol, whatever floats their boat.
18050 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
U.S.
Offline
Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/13/15
Nope.

I have a problem when a friend is actually rich and I don't know about it, and then this same friend had the audacity to ask me to buy him a corn dog last week.

Datsonovabitch. The nerve
3614 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
47 / M / Rochester, NY
Offline
Posted 4/13/15
If they are truly happy I am ok with it.

But if they were "convinced" that they were happy through QUACKERY such as "conversion therapy", I am not OK with it, as they are suffering and hiding pain. (And the so called professionals that did this to them need to be locked away for malpractice)
3710 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
Offline
Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/14/15

silversongwriter wrote:

You ever meet people who claim to be ex-gay or ex-bi... either through will power or through God?

Being at a christian school, I've seen and heard of many and some I actually know. And for the most part, seeing the whole "before and after" type thing. They all seem happier. I mean.. I question the methods of some of them, but I can't help but believe them after seeing a miserable person turning happy. Of course, I don't believe everyone who makes that claim
And based on the internet, I seem to be in a minority. As many people don't react that way at all, and I'm one of the few people who have a balanced approach to the issue

You know... here's a trick. Look up "ex-gay" on youtube, click any random video and stop it and just read the comments.
I guarantee you each of the comments will be in five categories


I have never met someone who was an ex-gay or ex-bi person. I've met people who experimented with being sexually active with people of the same gender as them, but in the end entered into a heterosexual relationship. I don't know if those individuals are still attracted to people of the same gender as them so I can't say that they're what you would call "ex-bi."

If these people you speak of are genuinely happy, good for them. If changing who they are so they can fit in with the people around them makes them happiest, then I can't begin to judge them for their choices. It's their life they're living and not mine. If you really do believe in God and trust in the Bible, then you should leave the judging to your Lord and savior. It isn't your place, or anyone's place, to judge the moral choices of others... so cut the hate out.

As for your list of categories to shove people in, I'm not even going to comment too much on it. I really dislike those "You fit into these categories if you don't agree with us" because it's a passive-aggressive way to try to get others to get people riled up.
6311 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / M / Earth
Offline
Posted 4/13/15


(No offense) Excluding the fact that you likely don't know everything about their personal lives,
If what you're saying is /actually/ true &they really /didn't/ like it, then they were never gay.

I believe the saying goes, "Gay sex doesn't make you gay. Being gay makes you gay."

Also, "friends" & "family" were just examples.
In the end in any situation, the one who puts the most pressure on you /is/ you.
Other than that, "It felt wrong" & "God showed me the way" both sound like cop-outs to me, though that may just be my personal opinion.
5613 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/13/15

eightcar wrote:

If they are truly happy I am ok with it.

But if they were "convinced" that they were happy through QUACKERY such as "conversion therapy", I am not OK with it, as they are suffering and hiding pain. (And the so called professionals that did this to them need to be locked away for malpractice)


I believed in will power.

So theoretically, conversion therapy could work, but it would have nothing to do with the therapy and come completely from within

Also, keep in mind, conversion therapy is an umbrella term and there's different ways people attempt it. I don't see a problem with people experimenting with ways to change a persons sexuallity psychologically. Hell, Timothy Leary experimented with this, and apparently LSD therapy made some people he expirmented on straight.... others remained gay however.

I have no issues with these places. As long as the people consent, it's okay for them to legally run... I mean, you can't prove ghosts are real. Yet, there's no law against paranomal investigation.

And I think as long as you're an adult and you legally consent, they can use whatever means they want. If you're 18 or older and you think someone shocking you with electricity will help... well... That's your decision.
24273 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
27 / M
Offline
Posted 4/13/15
5613 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/13/15

ilikeotherstuff wrote:



(No offense) Excluding the fact that you likely don't know everything about their personal lives,
If what you're saying is /actually/ true &they really /didn't/ like it, then they were never gay.

I believe the saying goes, "Gay sex doesn't make you gay. Being gay makes you gay."

Also, "friends" & "family" were just examples.
In the end in any situation, the one who puts the most pressure on you /is/ you.
Other than that, "It felt wrong" & "God showed me the way" both sound like cop-outs to me, though that may just be my personal opinion.


If they had feelings for the same sex before, and have different feelings, then their sexuality changed.
Sexual fluidity is real and exists, there's just no scientific evidence it can be controlled.

When I said they, "didn't like it", I meant they liked the same sex, but hated themselves for liking the same sex.
I know a dude who almost lost his mind and actually cried about it... That was awkward, so I told him some "believe in yourself" stuff to get him to stop. A month later he claimed to have turned straight through means I don't really wanna discuss as they're graphic
2270 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / F / Southern US
Offline
Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/14/15
Conversion therapies of all stripes have been proven not to work, not just for gays but for other sexual minorities as well. Some conversion therapies, like those involving LSD, could work on suggestion. LSD makes people much more suggestible - if they were told when under the influence that they were actually straight, it could have a lasting effect on them, assuming there wasn't lasting conflict. Others simply try to train a negative reaction to certain stimuli.

However, sexuality is a very complicated thing and isn't quite as black and white as people make it out to be. There are biological and environmental factors that play into it. The environmental factors can change, but the biological cannot; for that reason, I consider sexuality to be semi-fluid. Willpower is a strong thing, indeed, but it cannot override a basically biologic proclivity. It can, however, be used to ignore it or marginalize it.

I would go so far as to say that no person is absolutely androphilic or gynophilic. Some people may be close to an absolute, and therefore due to either social or internal pressures be nudged one way or the other, but that same basic orientation is there. Others may even realize that they aren't totally straight or gay, but simply identify with one group or the other for simplicity or other factors.

Ultimately, my only concern is when they advocate for dangerous therapies and convince other, often desperate individuals to undergo an unpleasant or damaging therapy - Aversion therapy, LSD therapies, etc.
52887 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
24 / M / CA
Offline
Posted 4/13/15

ZeroRequiem_ wrote:

lol, what?


5613 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/13/15

Schmooples wrote:

Conversion therapies of all stripes have been proven not to work, not just for gays but for other sexual minorities as well. Some conversion therapies, like those involving LSD, could work on suggestion. LSD makes people much more suggestible - if they were told when under the influence that they were actually straight, it could have a lasting effect on them, assuming there wasn't lasting conflict. Others simply try to train a negative reaction to certain stimuli.

However, sexuality is a very complicated thing and isn't quite as black and white as people make it out to be. There are biological and environmental factors that play into it. The environmental factors can change, but the biological cannot; for that reason, I consider sexuality to be semi-fluid. Willpower is a strong thing, indeed, but it cannot override a basically biologic proclivity. It can, however, be used to ignore it or marginalize it.

I would go so far as to say that no person is absolutely androphilic or gynophilic. Some people may be close to an absolute, and therefore due to either social or internal pressures be nudged one way or the other, but that same basic orientation is there. Others may even realize that they aren't totally straight or gay, but simply identify with one group or the other for simplicity or other factors.

Ultimately, my only concern is when they advocate for dangerous therapies and convince other, often desperate individuals to undergo an unpleasant or damaging therapy - Aversion therapy, LSD therapies, etc.


If someone changed their sexuality, then I see no issue with them wanting to encourage others to do the same. I'm possitive someone who did that would have some sense of pride of being able to over come something society dictates as impossible.
Of course, it's a different story if they claim god changed it.

There really isn't a part of the brain that predeterimines sexuality, according to science it's a difference in genes. But I'm sure it isn't the structure of the brain. Plus, keep in mind, there is such a thing as neuroplacisity. The brain changes all the time. Whether that plays a role in sexuality is impossible to determine
1153 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
21 / Somewhere I don't...
Offline
Posted 4/13/15
He's not gay no more, he is DELIVERT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh0r7C63_J0
5613 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
Offline
Posted 4/13/15 , edited 4/13/15

Dopaminto wrote:

He's not gay no more, he is DELIVERT!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jh0r7C63_J0


Honestly, this seems harmless to me. If this is how christians react and treat people who identify as ex-gay, then this is great. I felt good watching this. These seem like really kind people

And that music was bumpin'. For some reason, it gave me a strong desire to SHOUT!!!!
3710 cr points
Send Message: Send PM GB Post
31 / F / Kumamoto, Japan
Offline
Posted 4/13/15

silversongwriter wrote:


eightcar wrote:

If they are truly happy I am ok with it.

But if they were "convinced" that they were happy through QUACKERY such as "conversion therapy", I am not OK with it, as they are suffering and hiding pain. (And the so called professionals that did this to them need to be locked away for malpractice)


I believed in will power.

So theoretically, conversion therapy could work, but it would have nothing to do with the therapy and come completely from within

Also, keep in mind, conversion therapy is an umbrella term and there's different ways people attempt it. I don't see a problem with people experimenting with ways to change a persons sexuallity psychologically. Hell, Timothy Leary experimented with this, and apparently LSD therapy made some people he expirmented on straight.... others remained gay however.

I have no issues with these places. As long as the people consent, it's okay for them to legally run... I mean, you can't prove ghosts are real. Yet, there's no law against paranomal investigation.

And I think as long as you're an adult and you legally consent, they can use whatever means they want. If you're 18 or older and you think someone shocking you with electricity will help... well... That's your decision.


I'd find it easier to read your reasonings if it wasn't apparent that you're just regurgitating what you were told in the class, or learned through other biased sources. I implore you to seek out other forms of education in this matter before you open such a controversial conversational piece...
First  Prev  1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10  11  12  Next  Last
You must be logged in to post.