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Post Reply BULLYING
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21 / M / Utopia
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Posted 5/6/15
bullying is real and should be addressed, i have a bigger time acknowledging and realizing cyber bullying even though it might exist. i have heard ppl tell me about it, but i feel like it shouldn't be as bad, its kinda hard for me to explain but i guess it is. just shows how terrible ppl are.
Posted 5/6/15
I think it's an essential life skill to toughen up and learn to defend one's self. This is not me approving of bullying. I just don't approve of babying or giving special treatment to kids/people who get bullied either. This only makes it much worse for them later on in life.
Posted 5/6/15
The difference is to separate coddling(^) from actual abuse. After a certain point it becomes a person's obligation to step in and intercede on that other person's behalf, otherwise serious injury or death might occur.
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25 / F / New Jersey, USA
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Posted 5/6/15

Ssomething wrote:


qualeshia3 wrote:





An opinion no longer matters when you cause physical harm to someone. Verbal insult is nothing but an opinion to me expressed by someone. I don't let words try to hurt me because those words shouldn't hurt me. Call me names all you want because you're just another person stating an opinion.



Ok I get it...you're that kind of person "fuck what people think" and I am too... but kids don't have that kind of mature mentality so verbal bullying shouldn't matter to you but it should always matter as a problem in society that should not be tolerated.




I get what you mean.
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33 / M / Hell Paso
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Posted 5/6/15
bullying is a two way street. people need to toughen up. maybe its because of my age but when i was in high school there was no bullying. sure some would pick on a few others but nothing too serious. but i grew up with a few standard rules. when it came to standing up for myself. #1talk it out first #2report to teacher #3 if #1 and #2 fail, let them eat their teeth. nowadays kids are weak. and i mean all of them. they are weak mentally, psychologically and physically. when they encounter a problem they run from it instead of facing it. or look for excuses. in my day you ran into a problem and you solved it on your own. if you could not you asked for help but you at least tried to do it on your own
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Posted 5/6/15 , edited 5/6/15

_MissTake_ wrote:

I think it's an essential life skill to toughen up and learn to defend one's self. This is not me approving of bullying. I just don't approve of babying or giving special treatment to kids/people who get bullied either. This only makes it much worse for them later on in life.


If someone asks for help because they're being bullied, receiving help to you is 'babying' but then allowing them to continued getting bullied apparently helps them later on in life? Lets just hope you do not have kids with that thought process.


jer5500 wrote:

bullying is a two way street. people need to toughen up. maybe its because of my age but when i was in high school there was no bullying. sure some would pick on a few others but nothing too serious. but i grew up with a few standard rules. when it came to standing up for myself. #1talk it out first #2report to teacher #3 if #1 and #2 fail, let them eat their teeth. nowadays kids are weak. and i mean all of them. they are weak mentally, psychologically and physically. when they encounter a problem they run from it instead of facing it. or look for excuses. in my day you ran into a problem and you solved it on your own. if you could not you asked for help but you at least tried to do it on your own


So the way to 'toughen' up people is to let them get into a fight? This is based on 'back when you grew up'. Times changed, and it's time to change that stone-age way of thinking. Your talking like you're 70 years old who always complains. Then you go on to say avoiding a fight is running away or making excuses. Avoiding and not wanting to fight against some simple minded moron doesn't make you weak. Maybe you should make babies with the retard I quoted above, then we can watch your disaster of a family on TV for entertainment or how your kids end up to become serial killers after years of abuse at school and no love at home.
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Posted 5/6/15 , edited 5/6/15

do you think saying things like " it was just joke" or " i didn't know or realize" is acceptable in anyway


To be fair, some people are just over sensitive. I have definitely had my share of people who get all emotional with me when I am just lightheartedly teasing them, expecting them to laugh it off or give me a sarcastic remark. So when someone responds with those phrases you mentioned, it is usually in response to those sort of over sensitive people crying over what you said.

No, true bullying is when you have full intention of emotionally (or physically) hurting someone.



So the way to 'toughen' up people is to let them get into a fight? This is based on 'back when you grew up'. Times changed, and it's time to change that stone-age way of thinking. Your talking like you're 70 years old who always complains. Then you go on to say avoiding a fight is running away or making excuses. Avoiding and not wanting to fight against some simple minded moron doesn't make you weak. Maybe you should make babies with the retard I quoted above, then we can watch your disaster of a family on TV for entertainment or how your kids end up to become serial killers after years of abuse at school and no love at home.


Serial killers? Really? Lol.

I agree with jer5500, kids these days need to toughen up.

Learning to stand up for yourself is very important. I definitely had kids try to bully me when I was in school, but it was always short lived because I would teach them real quick that it was not in their better interests to mess with me. How exactly did I do that? Simple. I fought back with my fists. Punch them in the face; pin them to the ground; tell them straight in their face - fuck off. Works like a charm.

In fact, some bullies ended up turning into more of a "rival" because of such dealings. Instead of trying to intimidate me with their harassment, they would try to outdo me in sports and other things. Responding in kind helped me grow a lot stronger.

A couple even became friends. One kid actually came up and apologized to me once after I fought him off, and he asked to start off on a new note as friends. We ended up becoming best friends for a few years before I moved away.

On the other hand, my younger brother had many problems with bullies. He would sit there doing nothing as kids pushed him around. He would come home crying some days, and my parents were constantly having meetings with the teachers over his behavior, which I believe was likely caused by his frustration and depression from being bullied. It took him years to recover.

Also, from what she has told me, my mother also solved her HS bullies with her fists. She would challenge them to fights behind the school to settle their differences.

I turned out fine. My mother turned out fine. My brother turned out fine (with some time).

So no, telling your kids to defend themselves by fighting back is not going to turn them into a "disaster of a family on TV," or into serial killers. That happens when you have a family that is full of hate and abuse.
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Posted 5/6/15

tsukasa789 wrote:
Serial killers? Really? Lol.

Learning to stand up for yourself is very important. I definitely had kids try to bully me when I was in school, but it was always short lived because I would teach them real quick that it was not in their better interests to mess with me. How exactly did I do that? Simple. I fought back with my fists. Punch them in the face; pin them to the ground; tell them straight in their face - fuck off. Works like a charm.

In fact, some bullies ended up turning into more of a "rival" because of such dealings. Instead of trying to intimidate me with their harassment, they would try to outdo me in sports and other things. Responding in kind helped me grow a lot stronger.

A couple even became friends. One kid actually came up and apologized to me once after I fought him off, and he asked to start off on a new note as friends. We ended up becoming best friends for a few years before I moved away.

On the other hand, my younger brother had many problems with bullies. He would sit there doing nothing as kids pushed him around. He would come home crying some days, and my parents were constantly having meetings with the teachers over his behavior, which I believe was likely caused by his frustration and depression from being bullied. It took him years to recover.

Also, from what she has told me, my mother also solved her HS bullies with her fists. She would challenge them to fights behind the school to settle their differences.

I turned out fine. My mother turned out fine. My brother turned out fine (with some time).

So no, telling your kids to defend themselves by fighting back is not going to turn them into a "disaster of a family on TV," or into serial killers. That happens when you have a family that is full of hate and abuse.


You written all that, based on an alternate comment I didn't even say. I haven't said standing up for yourself is bad. I said asking for help if being bullied is okay and not wanting to fight is also okay. The answer isn't always to just fight. A lot of the times the school will also hold you just as accountable even if you were defending yourself. And if the school in question is so terrible as to not even attempt to help with anything, then it's time to report them to an education board or change schools.

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Posted 5/6/15 , edited 5/6/15

DanteVSTheWorld wrote:


tsukasa789 wrote:
Serial killers? Really? Lol.

Learning to stand up for yourself is very important. I definitely had kids try to bully me when I was in school, but it was always short lived because I would teach them real quick that it was not in their better interests to mess with me. How exactly did I do that? Simple. I fought back with my fists. Punch them in the face; pin them to the ground; tell them straight in their face - fuck off. Works like a charm.

In fact, some bullies ended up turning into more of a "rival" because of such dealings. Instead of trying to intimidate me with their harassment, they would try to outdo me in sports and other things. Responding in kind helped me grow a lot stronger.

A couple even became friends. One kid actually came up and apologized to me once after I fought him off, and he asked to start off on a new note as friends. We ended up becoming best friends for a few years before I moved away.

On the other hand, my younger brother had many problems with bullies. He would sit there doing nothing as kids pushed him around. He would come home crying some days, and my parents were constantly having meetings with the teachers over his behavior, which I believe was likely caused by his frustration and depression from being bullied. It took him years to recover.

Also, from what she has told me, my mother also solved her HS bullies with her fists. She would challenge them to fights behind the school to settle their differences.

I turned out fine. My mother turned out fine. My brother turned out fine (with some time).

So no, telling your kids to defend themselves by fighting back is not going to turn them into a "disaster of a family on TV," or into serial killers. That happens when you have a family that is full of hate and abuse.


You written all that, based on an alternate comment I didn't even say. I haven't said standing up for yourself is bad. I said asking for help if being bullied is okay and not wanting to fight is also okay. The answer isn't always to just fight. A lot of the times the school will also hold you just as accountable even if you were defending yourself. And if the school in question is so terrible as to not even attempt to help with anything, then it's time to report them to an education board or change schools.



Lol, I quoted exactly what you said. What do you mean, "I didn't even say"? I am responding to your comment about serial killers, and backing it up with life experiences.

Short version: My brother and I were taught to fight back against bullies. I fought back and had no problems. My brother didn't fight back, and got trampled. At the end of the day, we both turned out fine. No serial killers or messed up families.

Of course he did inform teachers of it, as well as my parents, and we did what we could to help him (I spoke to some of the kids face to face), but there is not much you can do other than tell them to suck it up and fight back.

"A lot of the times the school will also hold you just as accountable even if you were defending yourself."

Most bullying takes place out of eyesight. Kids aren't so stupid to do it in front of adults, and can be quite crafty. Yes, I did get in trouble a couple of times, but so did they, and overall so what? I would miss a recess (in MS) or get a detention (in HS). Big whoop. At least I no longer had to deal with the bully. That's a win in my book.

I agree that schools should do what they can, and it would be nice if they could stop bullying, but if it was so easy, then we wouldn't be discussing this in the first place. The problem is that schools can't do much about bullying other than hand out detentions, talk to parents, and try to "raise awareness." It truly falls on the shoulders of the students to defend themselves. I understood that, my brother didn't. Life story.

Let me add that I didn't start fighting back until about third grade. Before then, I tried the whole, "talk to them" and "tell a teacher" thing. Yeah, didn't work, I still got bullied by the same people. It wasn't until I snapped one day, and fought back against one of them that they stopped.

TLDR: Based on my own experiences, the only tried and true way to get bullies off your back is to fight them. Trying to talk to them and asking them to stop isn't going to work most of the time, and neither is "tattling" to a teacher. Toughen up!

Also, I am a fast typist, so to write as much is normal for me.
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Posted 5/6/15 , edited 5/6/15
I haven't seen any bullying so far (or maybe I just didn't know it was?) I didn't see any stealing, pushing and all that stuff.

The closest thing to bullying I've seen was a guy (the guy who was getting 'bullied') acting really tough and making short fits and fights with other people and as a result people talked back to him and isolated him.I don't really know what being bullied or bullying feels like this incident was brought upon himself.

I'm not saying that bully victims bring suffering to themselves, but a very small percentage may do. All the schools I went to showed some sort of documentary or a video about anti bullying and all the bullying I saw in the video was unjust and terrible.

Edit: Perhaps I'm very lucky to not see any bullying (or ignorant)

Actually, I forgot that I was bullied before. I was kinda moved on because it was a long time ago. My 5th grade teacher made things hell for me because I had a 75- 80% average while everyone else had a 90+% average. She would isolate me from everyone else because 'I was a distraction' to them. She tried to fail me (she brought me to a 4th grade classroom and told me to stay here) and it really made me miserable. She repeatedly embarrassed me in front of the whole class and spent 20 minutes lecturing ONLY me. But with my friends that stuck by me, I was able to survive 5th grade and I love them and hold them dear so very much.

In the end, bullying from that teacher made me.... a better person? I was more knowledgeable about people's feelings and my morals shot up through the roof. I treasure all my friendships and I swore to myself that I would never be a person like my 5th grade teacher. It made me who I am right now but thats only because I was able to move on from it. I never once thanked that I was bullied though.
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Posted 5/6/15
my personal thoughts on how to deal with bullying are a bit extreme, mostly because i was a victim of bullying and abuse as a child. because of the bullying, i am now a Hikikomori, i only leave the house if i have to, usually for doctors appointments and to get food.
Posted 5/7/15

DanteVSTheWorld wrote:

If someone asks for help because they're being bullied, receiving help to you is 'babying' but then allowing them to continued getting bullied apparently helps them later on in life? Lets just hope you do not have kids with that thought process.


That's not what I said. If you can't comprehend what I'm saying, you could always first ask for an explanation.



Maybe you should make babies with the retard I quoted above, then we can watch your disaster of a family on TV for entertainment or how your kids end up to become serial killers after years of abuse at school and no love at home.


I have no idea how you think you have the right to call me a retard when you're the one who seems to lack the most basic intellectual level to properly process and comprehend what I said. BUT if that somehow makes you feel morally superior, I guess I can let it slide. Not like it matters to me anyway.
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Posted 5/7/15
Depends on what you define as bullying. Real bullying is pretty horrible.
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Posted 5/7/15
It really depends on how you take it, how much damage does it cause etc
I do want to say some bulling is well a good hardnessing progress for few.
While others become insane (by physical or mental violence)
You can see that someone cind of "needs" it to seek reality? (don't drag this to unormal bounds)

Also so bulling is just stupied while some got some reasoning behind it (not allways a good one or a bad one)
So how can we know if it helps or not, should we just build the targeted person wall (defence) higher into special unit?
But as you will see below in some of those episods is that they cind of fixed and created a better wall so that the targeted can't be or won't feel ever right agian to bully him any longer (or taken all cind of fun out of it, and ruined it for coming back agian)

Watch GTO Best teacher! (please watch it from the beginning its good unless the last 30-20 episods where he changes alot personallty/behavior)
http://www.crunchyroll.com/gto-the-animation/episode-6-conspiracies-all-around-666765
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Posted 5/7/15 , edited 5/7/15

tsukasa789 wrote:


DanteVSTheWorld wrote:


tsukasa789 wrote:
Serial killers? Really? Lol.

Learning to stand up for yourself is very important. I definitely had kids try to bully me when I was in school, but it was always short lived because I would teach them real quick that it was not in their better interests to mess with me. How exactly did I do that? Simple. I fought back with my fists. Punch them in the face; pin them to the ground; tell them straight in their face - fuck off. Works like a charm.

In fact, some bullies ended up turning into more of a "rival" because of such dealings. Instead of trying to intimidate me with their harassment, they would try to outdo me in sports and other things. Responding in kind helped me grow a lot stronger.

A couple even became friends. One kid actually came up and apologized to me once after I fought him off, and he asked to start off on a new note as friends. We ended up becoming best friends for a few years before I moved away.

On the other hand, my younger brother had many problems with bullies. He would sit there doing nothing as kids pushed him around. He would come home crying some days, and my parents were constantly having meetings with the teachers over his behavior, which I believe was likely caused by his frustration and depression from being bullied. It took him years to recover.

Also, from what she has told me, my mother also solved her HS bullies with her fists. She would challenge them to fights behind the school to settle their differences.

I turned out fine. My mother turned out fine. My brother turned out fine (with some time).

So no, telling your kids to defend themselves by fighting back is not going to turn them into a "disaster of a family on TV," or into serial killers. That happens when you have a family that is full of hate and abuse.


You written all that, based on an alternate comment I didn't even say. I haven't said standing up for yourself is bad. I said asking for help if being bullied is okay and not wanting to fight is also okay. The answer isn't always to just fight. A lot of the times the school will also hold you just as accountable even if you were defending yourself. And if the school in question is so terrible as to not even attempt to help with anything, then it's time to report them to an education board or change schools.



Lol, I quoted exactly what you said. What do you mean, "I didn't even say"? I am responding to your comment about serial killers, and backing it up with life experiences.

Short version: My brother and I were taught to fight back against bullies. I fought back and had no problems. My brother didn't fight back, and got trampled. At the end of the day, we both turned out fine. No serial killers or messed up families.

Of course he did inform teachers of it, as well as my parents, and we did what we could to help him (I spoke to some of the kids face to face), but there is not much you can do other than tell them to suck it up and fight back.

"A lot of the times the school will also hold you just as accountable even if you were defending yourself."

Most bullying takes place out of eyesight. Kids aren't so stupid to do it in front of adults, and can be quite crafty. Yes, I did get in trouble a couple of times, but so did they, and overall so what? I would miss a recess (in MS) or get a detention (in HS). Big whoop. At least I no longer had to deal with the bully. That's a win in my book.

I agree that schools should do what they can, and it would be nice if they could stop bullying, but if it was so easy, then we wouldn't be discussing this in the first place. The problem is that schools can't do much about bullying other than hand out detentions, talk to parents, and try to "raise awareness." It truly falls on the shoulders of the students to defend themselves. I understood that, my brother didn't. Life story.

Let me add that I didn't start fighting back until about third grade. Before then, I tried the whole, "talk to them" and "tell a teacher" thing. Yeah, didn't work, I still got bullied by the same people. It wasn't until I snapped one day, and fought back against one of them that they stopped.

TLDR: Based on my own experiences, the only tried and true way to get bullies off your back is to fight them. Trying to talk to them and asking them to stop isn't going to work most of the time, and neither is "tattling" to a teacher. Toughen up!

Also, I am a fast typist, so to write as much is normal for me.


What are you talking about, your explaining as if I said defending yourself is wrong. I don't know why your writing all that. Also it's typical of serial killers to deal with abuse at home and at school. Also yes, most of the time a bully just needs a good punch in the face, I don't need you to try preach this to me. But maybe some people just don't want to do that, and they'd rather avoid that sort of contact all together.

That doesn't mean it will be worse for them nor does it mean fighting back always solves it. It could go bad either way, but we shouldn't be discussion what the normal person in question should be doing, it should be about what's being done about the moron causing trouble in the first place.


_MissTake_ wrote:


DanteVSTheWorld wrote:

If someone asks for help because they're being bullied, receiving help to you is 'babying' but then allowing them to continued getting bullied apparently helps them later on in life? Lets just hope you do not have kids with that thought process.


That's not what I said. If you can't comprehend what I'm saying, you could always first ask for an explanation.


So...


_MissTake_ wrote:
I just don't approve of babying or giving special treatment to kids/people who get bullied either.


What part of this am I not comprehending?
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