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Post Reply Ever witnessed Child Abuse?
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22 / M / Arizona
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Posted 7/27/15
No, but what constitutes child abuse? Some people think spanking is child abuse so if that's the case then yes I have.
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Posted 7/27/15

Irishsushi wrote:

No, but what constitutes child abuse? Some people think spanking is child abuse so if that's the case then yes I have.


I've seen the opposite extreme: children constantly comforted and told they did no wrong, even after doing something atrocious. Parents that would take their 6 year old daughter out for McDonalds and buy her a present after she was suspended from school for hitting other students and swearing.

That 6 year old was removed from parent custody after stabbing a classmate with scissors. A small amount of discipline when the problems first started would have corrected them.

There's also my youngest brother. The golden child who could do no wrong. Even after being arrested multiple times.

He opened fire on a group of his friends with a shotgun two years ago over an argument on Facebook.

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Posted 7/27/15

tkayt wrote:

My parents got raised with lots of spanking. They both left their countries to get away from their strict families. Mother already had a job and a referral to college but she left because she'd get her independence at 18. People mostly didn't leave him until they married. The only exception is leaving the country for studying. Father was from a well to do family and he wouldn't have had to work if he didn't want to.

Mother decided that was not how she was going to raise her children so she didn't spank us. I got the shock of my life when I was 3 and saw my god parents line up their children, have the recite their multiplication tables then start beating them when they got a part wrong. I didn't know about multiplication then. I just heard them mentioning numbers, when I was older I realised exactly what they had been saying. God father told me I was too young so I wasn't going to get spanked. I'd never seen a person strike a child before that so to me that was abuse. Later in the Caribbean I found out that that was common. Grandparents even spanked us for silly little things. If person A gives you a command and you obey then person B comes along and gives you a contradictory command you have to try to obey or face a spanking then person A comes back and sees that you've gone against them and another spanking. Mother said she'd get spanked from her parents, her teachers and even her neighbours. Sometimes all of them could spank her for the same one incident.


I don't think spanking would ever make things better.

Posted 7/27/15
Disciplining your kids isn't child abuse
Posted 7/27/15 , edited 7/27/15

Irishsushi wrote:

No, but what constitutes child abuse? Some people think spanking is child abuse so if that's the case then yes I have.

I experience child abuse bc whenever I talk back to my momma she'll throw a shoe at me from across the room.
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Posted 7/27/15

anzn wrote:


Irishsushi wrote:

No, but what constitutes child abuse? Some people think spanking is child abuse so if that's the case then yes I have.

I experience child abuse bc whenever I talk back to my momma she'll throw a shoe at me from across the room.


I have shoe related PTSD.
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Posted 7/27/15


I think it's a bit much to just flat outright call it wrong, especially since you're only using your own experiences to justify your subjective view. (Also keep in mind that there is a difference between abuse and spanking. Of course I'm referring to spanking here, not abuse)

To be fair, it is true that I only gave you an example of myself as well. However, the context was slightly different because I was arguing your point with a counter example to show that spanking children is not necessarily bad. You may be able to use one counter example to show inconsistencies with a trend, but this does not mean the opposite is true as one example does not make a trend.

Pain is, in my opinion, effective for teaching children morals because pain is a very simple and easy to understand punishment. A child may not understand a lecture in the same way an older person would, but they do however understand pain QUITE well. Pain is understood before language is thereby making it an effective method to teach very small children who would otherwise be oblivious to doing anything wrong. Albeit I do suppose they would be able to infer from voice intonations it would still likely be more effective to use spanking as a repercussion.


Now I have a few questions because I feel like I'm not exactly understanding your point:

1. What do you mean by "child's speech"? Are you trying to say that parents try to reason with the wrongdoing child instead of spanking?

2. The part where you said "That is wrong, parenting would take a lot of time" as a direct reply to my original comment also confuses me. Are you saying that using spanking as a form of punishment somehow increases the amount of parenting time required to raise a child?

I'm not trying to come down on you or anything; I just don't understand the logic behind your argument. If you could clarify these points for me that'd be great, thanks!
Posted 7/29/15
Yes and been a victim to abuse.
It's really terrifying feeling so helpless and not feeling safe in your own home.
Posted 7/30/15
Yes I have and was also subjected to it when I was a kid (the abuser was my older sister).

There is a difference with spanking your kids for discipline and hitting them mercilessly for petty things, such as:

This happened when I was 13, I asked a classmate if I could borrow his flute to practice and he said yes. So, I went to his house with another friend after school, while my friend and I waited outside his house we suddenly heard curses and someone being thrown against the wall. It was my friend and his mother, his mother was hitting him around and throwing him against everywhere!! shouting "you stupid good for nothing, I have told you you can't give your things to anybody!"

My friend and I looked at each other like this: O_O and we quietly left the place. I felt really bad and the kid ignored me after that...I understand, I was also afraid to look him in the eye. Poor guy.

That is childhood abuse. There was no need to verbally and physically abuse a kid for...well, there's no reason to ever do that.

Posted 7/30/15 , edited 7/30/15

reaperx- wrote:


DawnofSorrow wrote:

Me, my mom, and my two other sisters heavily abused by father, physically, psycologically, sexually. So, I have, but in those days it all got swept off the rug. He's dead now, he died when kerosene exploded, giving him 3rd degree burns over much of his body. My grandma tryed making us go to the funeral, but me and my sisters refused. It would have been too much tbh


My heart goes out to ya. That's one story.. ;c


Its not a story, I was telling the truth. How awful it was means most people have a hard time believing, which makes it painful to share or even bring it up. Not that I care, as all I wanted to do was to relate my experiences, not look for sympathy.
Posted 7/30/15

Even if you are looking for pity or sympathy I still feel sorry for you. Whether you want that or not. You understand pain and I understand that. Good on you for getting through it.
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Posted 7/30/15

DawnofSorrow wrote:


reaperx- wrote:


DawnofSorrow wrote:

Me, my mom, and my two other sisters heavily abused by father, physically, psycologically, sexually. So, I have, but in those days it all got swept off the rug. He's dead now, he died when kerosene exploded, giving him 3rd degree burns over much of his body. My grandma tryed making us go to the funeral, but me and my sisters refused. It would have been too much tbh


My heart goes out to ya. That's one story.. ;c


Its not a story, I was telling the truth. How awful it was means most people have a hard time believing, which makes it painful to share or even bring it up. Not that I care, as all I wanted to do was to relate my experiences, not look for sympathy.


Stories aren't always fiction, love. I believed it.
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Posted 7/31/15
I have never witnessed child abuse in person, but if I were to, I would try to stop that person as soon as I could.
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Posted 12/3/15
I have witnesses attempt of child abuse. They froze the last second before doing anything and that was very smart of them

Considering that mother was right there .
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